| Imagine this.
You get up in the morning and brush your teeth. You hop in the shower and throw on some clothes. You leave your apartment and walk to the metro to get to work on time.
You get on the metro, and just as the doors are closing…
… You notice her.
Her bright blonde hair bounces gently on her shoulders as she jogs to make the train. As the doors close and she’s safely inside, you watch as she straightens herself out and fixes her blue scarf – the same color as her eyes.
Those same eyes look up at you and start to dance just a little. Her cheeks, once rosy from the unexpected sprint, quickly turn red as she realizes you just stared at each other. Her smile vanishes and she looks away.
Here the universe splits in two.
In one dimension, you take a deep breath and a smile spreads across your face. It is the personification of the divine laughter of existence – this unshakable sense of belonging in the world, this profound humbling sense of wonder at what the world has in store for you. You take a couple of steps in her direction, plant your feet in front of her, in full view of everyone around, and extend your hand gently.
“I’m me. I can’t take my eyes off you”. You say, loud and clear, like a man.
But that’s not you – not today at least.
No. Today you are running late. Today you don’t look your best and forgot to put gel in your hair. Today she probably has a boyfriend. Today you are all too aware of everyone’s eager eyes staring and judging. Today you would rather read the newspaper because there’s something super interesting going on in the world, somewhere, anywhere but here.
Tomorrow that will be you. Tomorrow you will man up. Tomorrow you will sweep a beautiful girl off her feet and make her feel special in your presence. But not today.
Relax
That’s always the first step.
Before I teach anyone anything, I will always bring their attention to their breathing.
Do it now. How is your breathing? Is it shallow and quick? Or is it long, drawn out and powerful? Are you breathing from your chest? In fact, is there a tightness around your heart? Or are you breathing in fully from the belly upwards?
Breathe deep, powerful breaths. Imagine that you are bringing air down to your crotch. Fill yourself up as deeply as possible, then let it rest for a second or two before exhaling slowly from the bottom up. After 4 or 5 times, you will start to feel quite relaxed.
If you are not relaxed, you cannot be excited. If you are not relaxed, you cannot be aroused. Breathing in such a way serves the purpose of pulling you out of your head and immediately into the here and now – into presence.
When you are present, there is no fear. Fear and anxiety exist in the future – they have no reality here and now. So relax as deeply as you can until you are here and now. Until there are no thoughts occupying your mind and all that you see is the incredibly beautiful woman standing in front of you.
Own Your Desires
Anxiety – social or otherwise, are the symptoms of someone who is not at home with himself. Feeling anxious about your desires for a woman is a clear negation of your masculine gift – of what you were born to do! It means that instead of celebrating women, of being a man who is completely and totally absorbed in his love for the feminine, you instead suppress, try to hide and are ashamed of who you are and what you want.
If I walked into a room full of men, what will I see? Everyone laughing and having a good time, teasing each other, cracking jokes, and talking about the incredible women in their lives. Now if a woman walked in, what would happen? They would all go quiet. They would all look the other way. They would slouch their shoulders and pretend to play it cool.
WHAT THE HELL?
Think of the last time you were at a restaurant or cafe and the waitress came over and just the sight of her turned your blood to smoke.
Something about laying eyes upon a beautiful woman for the first time that jolts me right back to life, no matter how bad my day may have been.
This waitress. Try to remember what happened… You looked away embarrassed. She smiled at you and you forced a look on your face that says ‘eh, I don’t really notice you’.
Why?
Stop lying to the world. Even worse – Stop lying to yourself! All you wanted to do was to turn your whole body to her, let that huge smile spread across your face, allow your eyes to brighten and look deeply into hers, and spend the rest of the day talking and finding out who she is.
But not today.
Love, love, and more love!
This leads me to my final point.
This is not about you.
Read that again. The reason you are anxious is because you are making this about you. You are terrified of rejection. Rejection implies a transaction – sales of sorts. ‘I will bob my way into your life and in return you give me the feminine approval I crave’. Except the moment you no longer need that feminine approval, the transaction is null and void. There’s no talk of rejection when you are complete as a man. As I always say, you can’t lose a game you aren’t even playing.
So how do you escape this shitty, ego-based game? By transcending it altogether… And falling in love.
Whaaaat? I can’t just say something like that on a men’s site! We’re supposed to be macho and masculine and have no feelings right?
Wrong.
Owning your desires like we talked about earlier? That and love are literally the same thing. You can’t have one without the other.
Ask yourself this; Why do you want to speak to that woman? Is it so she can be another notch on the belt? Is it because you want your friends to think you’re cool? Do you want to be a Master Pick up Artist?
Awesome – that’s all your ego. And your ego can’t love. It needs to cling on to things in order to survive. It needs to focus on itself and constantly replenish itself by taking, taking and taking.
Wanna be free of it? Take your attention away from yourself, and place it on the beautiful woman in front of you.
Why do I speak to beautiful women? Because they are my meditation. Because to me, speaking to a beautiful woman – that is to say, being there while she opens up to me, while she shares her beauty with me, her hopes, her dreams, her fears, her losses, her pains, her secrets and eventually her body, is something so incredibly humbling that I could only compare it to playing a musical instrument.
You don’t play a song to get to the end – it’s the playing of the song itself that is enjoyable, memorable and invigorating. In the same way, you do not speak to a woman to get to an outcome, a point in time.
You do it because the person standing in front of you is, for that brief moment in both your lives, the only person in the world, and you have never, ever seen anything so astoundingly beautiful.
That, gentlemen, is how you speak to a woman.
Your fan,
Pat Ananda _________________ DUDE! Take my free ebook... It's FREE  --> http://centeredmanproject.com/
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CHAT
