Hey what's up DB, I haven't been on this site in quite awhile but was glad to see that you're back as well and have a journal. I look forward to hearing some of your stories!

Yeah, I'm not too stressed about it. I like to dramatize the failures when I write because that helps me detail them out and take a much more critical eye. Plus it makes for a more entertaining story.

I figure if the biggest problems in my life right now are that I was hooking up with the hottest girl in the club at one of NYC's premiere venues and couldn't close and that I'm a little stressed because I've been traveling non-stop for the last four weeks... well, things are probably going pretty good
Welcome back dude. Your timing is pretty good as I'm getting a bit more involved in this journal now and things are picking up. It's been relatively tame. How are you? Hope things are well.

=============

I still have some catching up to do on the NYC front and everything else that's been going on. I'll get some of that up tomorrow. For now, I want to get back to daily posts, so here's a bit of today:

Sunday 09/27/2015

I wake up kind of late, around 10:30am. There's a brunette girl in bed next to me (a story for another time). I want to get on with my day so I hint to her that she should get going. She calls an Uber. I get started on my day.

I had a lot of trivial things to catch up that had stacked up while I was away. Just minor stuff, but the stuff that at some point has to get done. I'm also going on a fishing trip in San Diego in three weeks with two of my best college friends so spent some time today coordinating hotels and flights and what not as well.

Also has some GoPro vids from last week's trip that I wanted to get pulled off the camera and sent back to my family.

So I spent most of the day doing some combination of that stuff and watching football with my two roommates and a buddy of ours who dropped by.

Went grocery shopping around 6:00pm. No hotties in the store

Came back home. Sauteed some shrimp. Dinner. Laundry. Football. Texted back and forth with a handful of girls that are in the works at the moment.

Pretty relaxing day. I needed it. I'm worn out and today was the first day I haven't felt jet-legged since getting home.

But I was productive and felt great all day. Got some stuff off my plate so I can attack the important things this week.

Monday 09/28/2015

Pretty standard day. Worked. Went to gym. Came home. Made dinner / prepped a couple other meals for the week.

But below all that, there's a lot going on. And it's great:

--Once I got back last week, I made a commitment to get my diet on track. I'm probably still at 10%BF, which is lean by almost all standards, but I want to cut back down a little bit. Even in just the few days I've been back, I've already noticed some positive changes just from being a little more cognizant of what goes in my mouth.

--My workout today was decent.
To be expected since I was training "by feel" the last four weeks or so and today was the first time was focused and had numbers that meant anything on the bar. I was also a little tight from neglecting foam rolling and mobility work this whole month. Felt good to slow down and get back to what I know works.

I predict some major strength gains to wrap up this year. I've already gained a nice amount of strength this year, more to come. I used to weight about 30lbs more than I do now and I haven't gotten back up to the strength I was then, but I think I'm on pace to finally make that happen.

SIDENOTE: there was a new TURBO HOTTIE ASIAN in the gym today! Never seen her before but you can bet she's on the radar now. Unspeakable things. FUCK!

--I also have a MAJOR contract in the final stages of negotiations right now.
It'll be firmed up by the end of the week. This whole thing kind of makes me laugh. According to all parties involved, this contract is going to pay me and my two partners more money than pretty much anyone in the industry.

So why is this funny to me? Well, here's a counter-example.

I get all kinds of Facebook and LinkedIn requests and messages from people either wanting to get me to work for them or who simply want to connect because they know I'm a "rising star." So one guy adds me on FB a few weeks ago. I don't know who he is but I see from our mutual contacts that he does the same work I do.

He's always posting. Self-promoting. Marketing his services. Using social media to network. Which, don't get me wrong, is all well and good. It has a purpose. Today, he invites me to "Like" his page. It's all these pithy little quotes about hustling, working hard, and what it means to be an entrepreneur.

One of them was like "It's 5am and I've got my coffee and my laptop. If you're not up yet, you should learn to ENJOY THE GRIND."

Or something like that.

Hmmm.... I don't know about you, but to me, being awake at 5am sounds like my nightmare. And the only time the word "grind" ever sounds enjoyable to me is when it involves loud music, my raging hard-on, and a tiny Asian girl's ass.

This guy is missing the point, methinks.

I do what I do so I can sleep in whenever I want. So I can go to industry night on Monday (you guys do know about industry nights, right?) and not worry about being up on Tuesday.

You know how I got to where I am?

Instead of all that crap... instead of marketing myself and spending hours and hours devoted to all that... I chose to sharpen the sword. To study my ass off. Every morning, no exceptions, I take time to study my craft. When I started, it was 3-4 hours a day. Today, it's still an hour a day. I always thought: get good at what I do and the results will speak for themselves.

Then... when I had a decent level of skill, which I acquired lightyears faster than most people... I identified a top 5 client in my industry. A client so notable that having them on my resume is like the equivalent of getting an MBA at Harvard or Penn.

Then... and here's the kicker... I demolished every expectation and over-delivered on every single piece of work I've done.

Now, the work at that level speaks for itself.

I am feeling more unstoppable right now than I have in about 2.5 years. Basically since I disappeared off this forum. It's been an interesting couple years.

2012 was easily the most fun and fulfilling year of my life. I made a lot of great changes and lived a pretty crazy lifestyle.

2013 and 2014 were years of change - relationship, career development, moving. Tough years in a lot of ways. But very education.

2015 started pretty poorly. I was stressed from work, had been isolated socially for a while as my relationship unraveled, and then I was single and kind of lost for a bit. I'd say January of this year was the unhappiest I've been in years. Maybe in my entire life.

Now I'm feeling like 2016 is going to be LUDACRIS (not the rapper).

Getting that fire back. And anyone who was around these parts in 2012 knows that when Daniel Balboa is on fire, nothing can stop him.

That's all I've got about today... but here's a quick little story for the lulz:

The first night I was back from NYC was a Saturday.

I went out to the bars with some friends for a bday.

This cutie little Mexican girl I had met months ago (before starting this journal) shows up because we had been texting about Electric Zoo (which I attended while in NYC). She's into the EDM scene so that reignited our text convos.

This girl is adorable. Smiley and bubbly. Amazing brown hair. Great mouth. That affectionate Latina disposition that I find so addicting... AND... a fucking badonkadonk booty.

Anyways, she shows up by herself (always a good sign). I know within about 15 minutes that I'm in play.

We dance, chat, hang with my friends. Normal bar stuff. Then all my friends leave. So it's just us.

Pretty soon she's initiating makeouts. I keep pulling away. Getting her more turned on. A little bit of dirty talk.

Eventually, I'm like "We're leaving" and I pull her outside. We get an Uber. She directs it to her apt (closer than mine).

And here's the long story short + the LULZ:

We makeout and fondle and shit for like 2 hrs. But I can't get her out of bra and panties. And she is not taking a hold of my hog when I try to get her to.

Result:MASSIVE BLUE BALLS. Like noticeably swollen. So bad, I am physically miserable. In pain and NAUSEOUS.

It's gets so bad, I basically get dressed and just walk out. Hasty goodbye. I'm not a dick about it but I'm in so much goddam pain that I rush through all that. Tell her was great, but I gotta go. See her soon.

Uber home.

CRANK a nut. Still hurts.

CRANK another nut. Still hurts.

CRANK a third nut.

You kidding me? It was still a little painful the next morning.

On the plus side, at nearly 31 years old, I can still unload three consecutive nuts in a row. Like a fucking teenager.

Sorry, half way through your journal so maybe this will be touched on later. To me it seems that the reason you care now is because you have things and actual life goals worth caring about.

You're no longer the carefree surfer working at a coffee shop, you're a professional with all things professionals have on their mind. As you've beat into the ground, mentality bleeds over; it's hard to see how you can be so driven and on point in your career and completely carefree in other facets of your life....just doesn't happen. Welcome to growing up

Thats a lotta nuts

_________________
My Pick-Up Journal

Welcome. Thanks for posting. You make good points.

Honestly, my answer is: I don't know man.

Are my current goals really worth caring about? Or, put in other words, are they more important than the goals I had in 2012, which were basically to surf, fuck, and have as much fun as possible?

I have no idea. It's my great existential battle right now, as you've probably noticed.

Because as self-serving as those goals may sound, I was probably a better person back then simply because I was more present. I was a better son, a better brother, a better friend for the exact reason that because I wasn't consumed or overwhelmingly attached to personal progress, I was able to focus on people and the world. I was able to connect with the Earth, with people, and with myself much more easily.

I think that's the rub: how attached I've become to certain ideals. Back then, I had very little judgement placed on outcomes. It was simply make progress, do your best each day, and go to bed happy and care free.

To be honest: I SHOULD have been stressed then. There were some months in 2012 where I made less than $1000. Sometimes, my lunch consisted of a few tablespoons of olive oil because I did the math and calculated olive oil to offer the most calories per dollar.

But I didn't care. I applied myself. Every day. I worked hard. But I was indifferent to outcomes. There was a good discussion about my attitudes towards getting rejected on approaches in my journal back then. This was my response:
Last night I posted that I'm feeling as good as I have since back then. I think a large part of that is I am regaining that odd dichotomy of insatiable drive combined with care-free aloofness. I can't describe it but to me, it's been the key to worry-free progress and happiness in my life. I'm getting it back and I feel great.

I think the key is in the second part of that prayer. What SHOULD be changed. This, I believe, is a core question for each of us. What SHOULD we work to change in our lives?

Answer that, and stay strict to that answer, and boy is life grand!

On a strictly professional level, here's another point: I don't really stress out about what I am CURRENTLY involved in.

I can do my work pretty easily and pretty fluidly.

It's about what's to come, the always-on ambitions that stress me out. The unlimited potential. Have you heard of the paradox of choice? It's a powerful concept.

And my question to myself is always why? Why even bother?

Statistically speaking, someone my age earning $135k in a year is in the "1% of wealth."

I'll do far better than that in 2015...

And with ZERO change in roles or responsibilities, I will probably 2x it again next year simply because I've negotiated a better deal (which closed today, btw). Might even be fewer hours if some processes are streamlined.

This is all on my own time, on my own schedule, and again, with the new deal in place, from wherever I want in the world with no boss or co-workers wondering why I'm surfing at noon on a Tuesday instead of putting my ass in a chair.

Do I really need more?

I have no intentions of raising a family of my own right now. I treat my parents, my brother, my nephew, and my friends like royalty. I spent about $500 earlier this month just to get my dad some tough tickets to a game I know he'd be dying to see. I made am impulse donation to charity last week because I read something that moved me, and because I have money I can spare. I'm participating in a big fundraiser next month.

What will more money do for myself? For the people I know? Or for the world?

Bottles at the club? A few status whores? What do I need with those things?

This is not me questioning you, btw. It's me asking myself these questions.

Thanks for posting and making me take a look at that post again, as it's been a profound several weeks since I posted it. I hope you'll stick around.

Yes, yes it was.

Tuesday 09/30/2015

Not a whole lot today.

Slept in some.

Closed that deal, as mentioned in previous post. We start in January.

Firmed up some weekend plans. Could be a fun, but busy one.

Worked a bit. Went to gym.

I have more to talk about but already posted enough today. Need to balance this journal against sleep (it's been cutting into sleep the last several nights), or find a better routine for it.

Wednesday 09/30/2015

Same type of day.

Here's a thought: it's good to have plutonic girl friends.

My three best girl friends all live in NYC. I was able to eat dinner with each of them (separately, they all know each other, but are not close) while I was there.

Having them provides me with a deep understanding of girls and deep insights into their thoughts and feelings... it provides me with support I can't get from my guy friends.... and perhaps most importantly, it gives me a model for the type of girl I enjoy spending time with, it shows me that there are good, loving, trustworthy girls out there. It lets me have love with women, even if I'm not in love with any particular woman. It let's me develop meaning emotional ties with women, that I have been able to use to make my romantic bonds stronger and healthier too.

It's great.

My friend SpiderMcGee, who've I've mentioned here before is quickly becoming another girl I have on this level. Our friendship has developed a lot over the last couple months and I think that's done wonders for me in "reforming" my bonds with the opposite sex after breaking up with my GF.

And, she's hilarious. Here's a quick text exchange we had on Saturday:

SM: What r u doing tonight?

DB: About to get sushi with a girl
DB: Unsure where that will lead me later haha

SM: hahaha ok good luck lmk how it goes! [four emoticons, the last of which is a bathtub and shower]

DB: Haha is that a golden shower at the end

SM: lol yuuup
SM: I love that you can read my sick mind lol

DB: I love that you have the sick mind.
DB: If I pee on a girl, you'll be the first to know

Haha, this is how true friendships are formed.

Yesterday...

Thursday 10/01/2015

Unlike most days, I came straight home after wrapping up work. I usually like to get some sort of physical activity in the late afternoon but I have to admit, it was nice to just come home and chill.

I had originally had plans to go out with this mixed black girl that I met a couple months back (not sure if I mentioned it here - if I did I definitely didn't detail it).

We'd been texting back and forth a bit lately. She had gone cold and then started texting me again out of nowhere. I think it's good to remember that girls are just like all other people. They get busy. They get anxiety. They have down times where they don't feel like dating.

Who knows why this girl went cold? But out of nowhere she started inviting me places and seeing if I wanted to hang out. I was out of town so much that this was the first opportunity we really had.

Unfortunately, she texts around noon and says she has an awful migraine, hasn't slept, and is zonked out on meds. NBD I tell her. Feel better, we'll reschedule for sometime soon.

So once I knew I'd have my evening free, I started throwing some other lines out.

The first to bite was PelotasAzules. For those of you that no habla Spanish that means Blue Balls, which is from now on the moniker that I will use for the Mexican cutie that gave me the worst blue balls since 1857.

She says she's going to this coffee shop / bakery. Asks if I want to join her. I tell her sure, I'll meet her there around 7pm.

I get there. She's already there. We chat for 90 seconds and then I go get coffee. She was already seated and had hers.

I come back. We fluff. Catch up. Chit chat. We're seated on a couch. She's giving me her whole body language. My hands are on her legs. On her back. I'm enjoying myself. She's so bubbly and smiley. Oozes femininity. Such a breath of fresh air compared to most American girls.

I'm very attracted to her. Great hair. Nice big lips. And that ass....

Anyway, this place closes at 8pm so before we know it they are telling us we have to leave in 10 minutes. I don't really want to drink any alcohol and I'm not sure where else we'd go.

So as we're walking out, I'm just like "Well, let's go back to your place."

I know it's relatively close. She's kind of like what will we do but I just brush it off, hail a cab, and she gets in and tells the driver where to go.

Easy as 1-2-3.

Now wait a second Daniel? How did you know she'd just go along with that?

Ok... let's back up. First, let's go way back... the entire context of this relationship has been her pursuing me. That's step one. I also know that she's crazy into me.

How? Because I read the signs. There are big signs, like her inviting me places all the time. There are smaller signs, like her completely facing me while we were sitting on the couch... or letting me caress her thighs.

Point is, most guys are oblivious. Then they stuck. Open your eyes. There are girls flirting with you everywhere you go.

So... arrive at her apt. Her roommate is in the kitchen on the phone. I say Hi. Shake her hand. Then Azules and I just go to her bedroom.

Now... here's something I'll point out. The last time I saw this girl, I was pretty aggressive. Lots of dirty talk and escalation.

Here, I made it a point to basically not do any of that. I hadn't even kissed her or held her hand to this point. I did that to sort of keep her on her toes. Allow her to keep guessing. Chicks love that.

It also builds a lot of tension because I KNOW SHE WANTS TO KISS ME.

So we just lay in her bed and talk for a while. After maybe a half hour or so I make my move.

It's not hard. I don't even say anything. I just pull her in and we start going at it. We makeout for a while, I get her down to bra and panties, finger her a tiny little bit, get her to jossle my hog around some, and that's basically where progress stops.

Now I'm in just my boxer briefs and she's in panties / bra and we kind of just lay around and cuddle. She's affectionately rubbing her hands through my beard (which I've unintentionally let grow for the last two-ish weeks i.e. I'm lazy) and my hair.

Physical affection goes straight to my heart (and my boner, as a matter of fact). I don't know what it is but if a girl kisses me, rubs me, scratches me, hugs me, lays on me, etc... that's my heaven. There's almost nothing better in the world. And I don't even have to be emotionally attached to the girl.

I think this is because I am very affectionate like that too. I love touching girls. I love having my hands on them. I love pulling them into me and holding them tightly. Burying my face in their hair.

It was really nice. This is the first girl since my ex-GF that I've really spent any of this kind of cuddle time with, which interestingly kind of stuck with me a little bit more than even the first time I had sex with someone after we broke up.

Weird.

It is what it is I suppose.

That was about it.

Today was nothing special. It rained all day, which zapped any motivation I had to go out. I watched San Andreas instead. The Rock is a beast.

That's it. I feel like a lot of great things are happening right now. And one indicator of that is the list of revelations and thoughts and perspectives that I have in my phone right now to try to expand upon in this journal. That means my mind is seeing new patterns, noticing things, remembering forgotten stuff.

I'll be honest: for a while, I looked back on the last few years, and a part of me was scared that the best was behind me. That my life had peaked about 2-3 years ago and I'd never get it back. And it's not the external indicators of success I'm talking about.

I mean the way I FELT. Invincible. Like everyday was a new adventure. That I was making the most of every moment I was awake and that my life was just on fire.

It was intoxicating to feel that way every day. And I promise you this: if you get there, you too will never want to let it go.

But I did. And I was afraid I'd never recapture that passion. That vigor. That indomitability.

Those fears were unfounded. Because it's coming back. I'm not quite there yet but I feel it. Every day - in my veins - new life is pumping. FUCK YES.

I have six months pretty much to the day until I move. I think that's going to be the catalyst that puts me over the top. And I know that there's going to be so much growth and progress between now and then as well.

On a pure game standpoint, I think the re-emergence is obvious. I've got about 4-5 girls texting me constantly, wanting to hang out, chasing me. I've been more playful. More flirty. More sexual. More aloof and nonchalant.

Everything is coming together. Daniel retakes the world.

Tuesday 10/06/2015[/size]

Missed a few days there. It was a busy weekend. Lots of good stuff happened. I'll recap as/if it becomes relevant.

Today...

Worked.

Came home and then walked to the yoga studio that's a few blocks from my place. The weather is turning and now I can't paddle board anymore so I'm looking for something new to fill the time.

To me, yoga seemed the obvious choice for a handful of reasons:

1) My hips and hamstrings are tight from years of competitive squatting. I've made great progress in loosening them up this year, but some dedicated and accountable form of flexibility training will benefit me greatly. This will also be great for my surfing once I'm back in the water daily come April.

2) Surfing is my true love but a close second is freediving and spearfishing. This requires being able to hold your breath for an extended period of time. Doing that requires a few things. Relaxation. Fully oxygenated blood via slow, diaphragmatic breathing. Mental control (being 100ft down and staying calm can be tough mentally, even if you have the air, because you know there's a 30 second ascent between you and breathing). And, due to the pressure changes of air in the lunges, a flexible and limber diaphragm. Yoga will help with all of these.

3) I want to be a part of something. I do a lot of stuff on my own. I like it that way. I'm very comfortable by myself. But this fall and winter, I am test driving replacing some of the time I'd normally spend doing my own thing with some group-based stuff.

4) YOGA PANTS. I'd do it without this, but let's be honest, this is awesome. If I can find a healthy, fit babe who's down to get in touch with her inner chi by means of being spanked, hair-pulled, and manhandled in my bed, all the better.

So I went in, asked the girl all kinds of questions. I've never done yoga so I asked everything from what do I wear to should I not eat beforehand, etc... She was in love by the time I left. The chick that was walking in as I was walking out was a dime. I mentally downward dogged her.

Hopefully I follow through with this. Typing it up here is my form of accountability. Thursday or Friday they have their newb class in a time slot that possibly works for me (might have to change my schedule a little bit). But I should do everything I can to get in there before the end of the week.

Came home. Chilled out for a bit.

FINAL THOUGHTS AND RAMBLINGS
This is a section I used to include daily in my old journal. It's helpful. So let's bring it back.

I need to get to sleep, so nothing for now.

Wednesday 10/07/2015

Didn't really work much today.

Spent the entire day listening to a marketing seminar. The guy who put it on is a living legend. Known to everybody.

Tomorrow he is interviewing me for another big event he's doing. This isn't a trial or anything. I'm already in. He already thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. But I want his jaw to hot the floor at the knowledge bombs I drop. And I want his audience, after hearing me, to be like "Well... that Balboa guy is a freaking powerhouse."

Success is in the preparation.

I'll spend a few hours in the morning tomorrow prepping again.

Anyway, after listening to about 6 hours of seminar audio and taking about 15 pages of notes, hit the gym. Front squats. Hips were a little tight but strength was up a bit.

Grabbed 2.5 lbs of food at the hot bar at Whole Foods. Came home, crushed it all because I'm a beast. Texted back and forth with a few of the girls in the works. Listened to more seminar.

FINAL THOUGHTS AND RAMBLINGS

The other day I had a really insightful conversation with a buddy of mine. He's the most "growth-minded" of all my friends. Self-employed. Highly into fitness. Very much into developing (he calls it the big four: physical, professional, spiritual, emotional... I think those are the ones he uses).

Anyway, he said something along the lines of this: achieving anything comes down to being intentional about it.

He went on to tell me about 6 questions he asks himself about any girls he's dating. He's looking for a serious GF so he asks himself: is she attractive and healthy? Is she curious and always learning? Is she playful with herself and with others?

He had some others. They were good.

We then talked about the balance between being very intentional like that and living a life of spontaneity.

These things may seem at odds. But after I've stewed on this for a few days, I realize they are just different parts of the same token. Being intentional, and giving yourself a structure, allows for spontaneity and creativity.

Here's an example: I know a guy who is very rigid about his work schedule. He gets three uninterrupted hours of work in immediately upon waking each morning. Then after that, he gives himself permission to do whatever it is he wants. Sometimes he keeps working. Other times he cuts out for the rest of the day. But his intentional three hours gives him the ability to be spontaneous.

That's one observation. Essentially, I am trying to build the case for intention, purpose, and structure in light of the following realization I had: every long-term goal I've ever achieved has been a result of clear intent and structure.

None of it was chance. Or seat of the pants.

Here's a few examples:

Fitness - I devoted an inordinate amount of time to reading, studying, learning. Then I created a system for both execution (i.e. I made sure I had a reliable weekly schedule in place to never miss workouts and for eating a healthy diet). I also have a system for maintenance and adjustment. I weight myself once a week. Take measurements. Adjust diet as necessary. For a slower moving target, like strength gains, I make goals on a monthly basis. I evaluate those and repeat. This is almost a no-effort system at this point. It runs itself. But it took a lot of time to get it going.

Girls - I've never been too intentional about finding girlfriend quality babes. But I was very intentional about learning how to bang a lot of chicks. I learned how to approach in bars and clubs. Then I learned how to escalate. Then I learned how to play logistics. Then I learned how to filter phone numbers really strictly and how to close a huge percentage of first dates. The result was a night out at bars or clubs gave me like a 50% chance of banging a new girl either that night, or within the week on a date (during some runs it was actually much better % than that). Then, when I took myself out of that scene, I forced myself to learn how to approach girls in the day. This was the hardest challenge for me. Not sure why but I've been pretty comfortable approaching at night pretty much since the beginning but daygame approaches always gave me the most anxiety. So I made a goal. 15 per week. Based on the lifestyle habits I had at the time, that was a little bit of a stretch (especially at first) but it was also pretty realistic. The rest is history.

Career - I made a career switch from scratch. I knew nothing. But I carved out a solid routine. I studied in a very systematic way. I networked carefully. I made wise decisions. I tracked my income and evaluated what needed to change in my negotiations and fees.

Those are a few examples.

Here are a few examples of places where I want to grow, but have not been intentional or systematic:

Finding girls who I want to have around for more than just box smushing. Of course I know what I like and dislike. But I have not been systematic about putting myself in situations where those girls are more common. I haven't been as clear on deal-breakers as my friend's example above. I don't have a plan in place for meeting and keeping a girl around who is the FWB or open relationship type.

Expanding my social life. I don't plan ahead. Period. I let my social life develop in 24 hr intervals. The common excuse I make is that it takes too long. Yes, it does take time. But here's a counterargument (for myself): I spend all sorts of time planning travel. All the trips I've taken this year and will be taking in the last few months of the year have all required lots of advanced planning. I can put that same effort into organizing friends, finding activities and events, and getting more involved. The trip to the yoga studio yesterday was a good start. And that was a result of being very clear and diligent, moving from the nebulous "I want to find a new exercise activity" to "Find two or three possible choices" to "Go to the studio, talk to the staff, and get all answers questions." That's a very discrete and intentional process. Need more of that for all things social and leisure.

Expanding my income streams. I've got some things in the works. But I haven't put in any sort of routine or system for getting them off the ground.

So yeah... that was a bit of an obvious epiphany I had today. Sometimes I'm kind of dense.

===============

All in all, I couldn't be happier with where things are headed right now. I think I'm about 6 - 8 months away from all of the various areas of my life... stuff that I've been working on for almost 6 years... coming together and really putting me in a position to say "I finally made it."

See, I've never wanted SOME of what life has to offer. I wanted ALL of it. Everything.

I never wanted to focus on one area of my life to the detriment of others.

Yes, at times over the last few years, I've had to let off the gas in some places to focus on others. My current living situation is a prime example of that.

But I never stopped dreaming of how it would all come together. I never stopped seeing that life. I never stopped believing in my ability to put my fucking head down and chisel away at the big goals. There are surely others out there who are smarter, better looking, more insightful, whatever. But I'm indomitable, a man on a mission. Everything I've ever put my mind to has been a victory. That's how it's been since day one and that's how it will always be. Fucked if I'm going to pick now as the time to start losing, when it's all so close.

This is my mountain.

I will climb it.

And you will see me at the top waving... or dead on the side from trying.

This shit has been bubbling up for weeks now. None of this has been the real me. You can see it in the difference in my writing. The stuff I was writing in 2012 was like this post now. Filled with fire and zeal. Passion. A singular focus, a love for the journey, and an unrelenting belief that I AM CAPABLE.

That was me.

When I started this journal I was flat. I could feel it. You could read it in the writing.

Not me.

Not anymore.

That guy came into this journal the other day saying "You're a grown up now. You can't surf and live like a fucking rake and still be serious about your job and this and that." Sorry bro. I was cordial when you came in here and I appreciate all comments but you're dead wrong.

I will bank a mil while surfing my brains out and doing whatever the fuck I want. I will live on easy street while getting whatever I want whenever I want from whoever I want. And it's not selfish or egotistical either. I will raise up and protect my people, my world, my Earth, and everyone and everything in it. As I grow they grow.

How? Why? Because that's what's it's always been and I'll be fucked if I've come this far to watch it wash through my fingers like sand.

FUCK THAT.

That felt good. A classic Balboa rant.

Let's do this.

Thursday 10/08/2015

Woke up.

Spent a few hours prepping for the interview/discussion I was having, then went and did it. I absolutely killed it. This is a big deal. Lots of good celebrity status will come of this.

After that, did about 2-3 hours of work. I'm a bit behind on the major project I'm working on. They wanted me to do it on a short timeline, which I don't really do, but I told them I'd try to get it done as fast as possible. I'm not stressing over it regardless. Good mental control.

Then I got a massage. I try to get about 2-3 a month. Holy crap did she go deep today. This was the closest I've been to telling her to ease up. But I chomped down and took the pain. Felt fantastic afterward.

Hit the gym. Went through my workout quickly because I was meeting a buddy for dinner. I was feeling strong nonetheless. I also had a good chat with one of the new trainers. Good guy, super friendly.

We hit up the spot. It's a new sushi bar nearby, walking distance from my crib. Great date spot. Noted. The food and service are excellent too. A nice little gem.

FINAL THOUGHTS AND RAMBLINGS
In a lot of ways, this is a pretty damn good day.

There's some major career growth happening. There's a massage at 3:30pm in the afternoon. There's a good gym session. There's a posh dinner with a long-time friend.

Great stuff. It's why I push myself. All it needed was an ocean and a Latin girl sitting on my face and would have been perfect

But even more, there's so much more going on under the surface in a day like today. I was lit up and alive all day. One guy at the gym even mentioned it while we were chatting: "Man you must've had a good day today."

I was productive. I worked without distraction. I was playful, fun, and present with everyone I talked to today. My diet was on point. I drank a gallon of water.

This is my type of day. That rant in the last post wasn't for nothing. I'm telling you, something has shifted (or re-shifted). I'm feeling like myself again. Driven and unrelenting. Hungry. Better every single day.

Weekly Update 10/25/2015

OK... first, the absence.

So I noticed I was having trouble sleeping. My first two areas to troubleshoot whenever that happens are a) things that activate my analytical mind and b) excessive screens (TV, laptop, phone). Having either of these things in the time leading up to bed seems to trigger a delayed sleep response for me.

This journal activates both, obviously, and I tend to post right before bed.

So I just stopped and evaluated. Sure enough, better sleep.

But... now that I've nailed that as a solution, I need to figure out when to journal. It's #1 development action (for me at least). It's been a powerful tool in my life.

So what I've been doing is offline just a 5 min brain dump every morning. Due to the five minute constraint I put on it, these entries are too jarbled and unexplained to make any sense here. Stuff here requires a bit of explanation to since you can't read my mind. Nonetheless, I've found this to be a surprisingly effective technique. The five minute restraint forces me to focus on what's really on my mind.

That said, I think posting more in-depth here is a good exercise too.

So long story short, I'm going to experiment with daily offline brain dumps and weekly, more in-depth reviews here. I'll test this setup for several weeks and see how I like it. So, this is the weekly review. Structure-wise, I'll just go day-by-day and then do some sort of ramble.

MONDAY
Monday was basically a throw-away day. I came in at around 9:30am on a redeye flight. I had been in San Diego since Friday morning. I went fishing with a couple friends.

We chartered a boat. It was insane. We headed south and scored big-time off the coast of Mexico. It was like one of the crazy fishing tales you hear guys tell... "As soon as your hook hit the water, you had a fish."

It was some of the most fun I've had in a LONG time. A really wholesome, meaningful experience. More so since it was shared with two of my best friends in the world who I don't see often (both live in CA). We ate raw yellowtail sashimi on the boat. It was glorious. I also have about 30lbs of frozen meat coming to me in a shipment next week.

So anyway, I came home Monday. Took a nap. Cleaned up the apartment a little bit. Spent an hour on the phone with my "accountability buddy" (i.e. a guy in a similar place in life, who does the same work I do, who has similar goals and a likeminded approach to personal growth, etc...). We had a good chat. Helped me focus on what I should be aiming at in my career, with a particular eye towards how that gives me the life I want.

Hit the gym. Just did a quick circuit.

Home. Slept. Not a whole lot on any front. Certainly no babes to be seen.

TUESDAY
Back to work. I'm in the middle of wrapping a big project so that took most of my attention. Went to lunch with my business partner. Showed him the project. He's convinced it's going to be a big win. So am I. This is some of the best work I've ever done.

Hit up the gym afterward and then headed home.

WEDNESDAY
Worked.

Then went to the gym. Then came home and did some yoga with YouTube.

So I went to the local yoga studio recently, right? I haven't been back since, which is one part I've just been away and not able to fit it in since their beginner class is at odd times. But the other part is just making excuses. Being fearful of looking like an idiot since I don't know what I'm doing and am so inflexible (in my hips) it's concerning.

So... this coming week I already have worked my calendar to get into the studio on Thursday despite the odd hours. I also figured I can help lessen the excuses in my mind by just doing some yoga at home to practice.

Been doing it every day since Wednesday. I like it. It relaxes me and I've already seen it help my breathing, which if you remember when I posted about it, was one of the goals.

All of that said, these excuses are dumb, so let's unpack them a little bit.

The basic script is: I have no idea what I'm doing and I am embarrassingly inflexible. I'll look like an idiot.

OK... so, I'll look like an idiot.

I think the key to moving through something like this is re-evaluating the assumption... taking a look at the worst case outcome of if the assumption is in fact true... and then re-framing the whole thing to be a positive experience.

That looks something like this:
--No one will really care. First, they are too concerned about doing their own yoga to notice how shitty mine is. Second, even if they do notice, they probably won't make judgements based on it.

--Even if they do make judgements and assume I'm an idiot, why does that matter? These are strangers. They aren't people who are in the arena of my life. Maybe they could be... but would I really want someone who places harsh judgement on someone who is trying to make an improvement in their life as a friend or girlfriend? Probably not. This renders those people irrelevant. They can literally disappear for all I care.

--I'm doing something to improve my life. The benefits are numerous, as already outlined previously. Sometimes, doing something to improve your quality of life just comes with a certain amount of discomfort or resistance. This is a simple truth. Look at how much benefit I've gained in my life from pushing through past discomforts. This is no different. PLUS, if anyone in there is noticing how terrible I am, if they have a mindset like mine, they'll find it endearing and think, good for this guy. Those are the good people and I bet they are in the majority. For example, I saw an overweight girl in there when I was signing up. She mentioned it was her second class. I thought "Good for her. She's doing something for herself. That's great." If I think that, the people I want to associate with will too.

That's how you move through something like this. Now, if I feel like an idiot on Thursday, I can read this and forge my resolve.

Anyway, I did the yoga in my room and hung out the rest of the night. Azules (the Mexican girl), texted me around 8pm saying she'd scored tickets to a show. It would have been great but I had an early morning the next day, and a big meeting, so I had to pass.

THURSDAY
So flip-flopped things a bit.

Woke up and was in the gym by 7:30am. Had a good workout and then headed home, got cleaned up and went to a kickoff meeting with the client my two partners and I will be starting work for in January. It was a great day. Digging into their needs. Problems. Opportunities. Strengths. Weaknesses. Asking all kinds of questions. Learning. And endearing myself to the client.

Huge success. I also worked out a deal with him to set-up some joint partnerships with the "side piece" client I have. This is incredible. Honestly, it means I take a brokerage fee and get paid literally with no work. How much will it be worth? Its too early to tell. Maybe $5k. Maybe $50k. Either way... IT'S FREE MONEY. And it's a win-win-win for all three of us since they are both making more money as a result too. Good shit.

I was home by around 5:30pm. Did some more yoga in my room and just relaxed the rest of the night. Early to bed.

FRIDAY
Friday was a big day. I finally snapped my dry spell. And in doing so, a lot of the "truths" of game that I used to follow came flowing back, and the entire dry spell made sense.

This is going to be a long break-down. You've been warned (although I wager this will be the most valuable game-related post I've made in this entire journal, so probably worth your time if you wanna stick your hog in some hotties. Especially for text game and escalation).

OK, so first, let's just give the play-by-play.

This tale starts two weeks ago. The last weekend I was here before leaving for California.

It's a Friday night. I'm out with two of my good friends. They are both GAME ENHANCERS, as I've mentioned in the past. Many many bangs in my life have come as a result of being out with these guys. I like the odds. One lives here, with his GF. But still a good guy to be out with. The other is one of the guys I hang out with whenever I'm in NYC. He was here for the weekend because he's in an "open relationship" with a girl who lives here. She's a babe. Great girl. Hung out with us for a little while and then headed in, leaving the three of us.

Anyway, we're in a club.

I'm dressed to kill. Easily in the top 5% of guys in there. I also have the advantage of having long, thick hair pulled up into a manbun. This causes wet vaginas on sight.

We're having fun. Talking to random girls. Dancing. Vibing. Making comments to anyone and everyone.

I notice this group of about 6 black girls. All dolled up. Closed off and dancing in a circle. One of them is a mega-hottie. Looks just like Gabrielle Union. Hmmm.... tough one.

I'm confident I would have found a way to talk to this girl. There's always a good way in if you're patient enough. But the gods of slay made it easy on me...

My buddies and I are near the bar. It's less crowded here. You have to pass through this area to get to the dance floor too. So we're there and this group of black girls walks by headed to the dance floor. MissUnion walks by and whispers in my ear: "My friends all think you're really cute."

She begins to walk away. I grab her. Gently pull her back in, look her in the eye for a split second and whisper in her ear: "That's nice. Too bad for them... I think you're really cute."

She says: "Oh yeah? Come find me later. If they see me talking to you, they'll be jealous."

I've said it before and I'll say it until I die: Game is about not fucking up the opportunities you have. You have to take control. You have to lead. This girl would have just walked by after that little drive-by. But I wanted her so I went for it.

Onward.

Some minutes later, I spot her at the bar. By herself. She might as well be sending up a bat signal. I go up to her. We ramble. Fluff talk. She says they're leaving soon. I ask where to. It's far. A place I don't really feel like going. I tell her we're going to hang out soon. She agrees. Numbers exchanged. I immediately text her "Daniel" just so she knows who I am.

So that was that. She left. I hung with my boys.

Took this one to text. Here's some of the exchange leading up to the date:

NEXT AFTERNOON:
DB: Hey cutie. Was nice meeting you.

MU: Hey mister. Nice meeting you too.

DB: Were your friends jealous I took your number haha

MU: Haha maybe. Did you stay there the rest of the night?

DB: Pretty much. We left around 2am I think. How was your night?

MU: I went to about 4 or 5 places. I think I may chill out tonight though. So have enough fun for the both of us Manbun, haha.

DB: Haha, that's my new nickname? What happens when I have it down? [Send her a picture of me with hair down. Looking epic].

MU: Your initials are the same. You just went from ManBun to ManBob. I like it up. I owe you a picture [Sends two pics of her looking sexy as fuck. God this girl is hot. These pics make me happy, and horny.]
MU: There. Can't forget the cute black chick now. Lol.

DB: Goddamn. You're gonna be bad news for me
DB: Do people tell you that you look like Gabrielle Union often?

***OK, let's stop here for a second. Clearly, I went straight for it. She sent me pics. I rewarded her in a big way, and in a way that let her know, for the first time, that I'm sexual and I'm aiming that sexuality at her. But there's also a slight bit of reservation there. Bad news. Like I'm resisting. Girls love a guy who CAN'T resist them. So when you make it seem like it's hard to resist, they go wild. All that said, I drop that and then move on. I don't let her dwell on it too much. The impact is felt but now is not the time to go further. This is a good escalation rule-of-thumb: immediate change of directions, especially in a high-risk move, like this, the first overt statement.

MU: I can't do a day without hearing that. I at least use it to get out of cover charges Lol.
MU: You know who you remind me of a bit? Brock O'Hurn. Look him up.
MU: I'll ttyl. I'm about to start getting ready for dinner tonight.

DB: I've had a massive crush on her for years, so it worked out for you I think.
DB: I know who Brock O'Hurn is. Not the first time I've been told I look like him haha.

***So she tells me I look like an Instagram sex-symbol. So I decide to go back into the sexual banter. Tell her I've wanted Gabrielle Union for years (truth). Say that makes her lucky. So I'm giving her direct interest, but redirecting back to her, reframing it as me being interested in her is good news for her (I'm the prize).

So next couple of days we just go back and forth. Talk about work. TV shows we watch. Food. We even talk a little about sexual dynamics and game because she says she went speed dating and the guys were hopeless and shy. I tell her good thing I have the balls to go after sexy girls She says she loves confidence. Then asks when we're hanging out. I tell her it will have to wait a week since I'll be in San Diego.

One morning I text her:

DB: Morning

MU: Hey trouble maker have a great time in Cali.

DB: Haha thanks. How did you know I was a trouble maker? I think I hide it pretty well

***She gave me a lay-up here. I basically - in girl talk - tell her I'm going to be doing bad things with her. Some guys would reframe this as "You're the trouble maker. You're trying to be a bad influence on me." I think that's a mistake. Too easy for her to say "No I'm not." I just go for it. Shamelessly admit I'm in this to be bad.

MU: I knew you were one when I first met you Text me when you get back.


NEXT DAY...
DB: [Pic of me with a fish I caught] I caught this for you.

MU: So thoughtful of you haha. I'm jealous.

DB: I'm a sweetheart.

MU: Yeah you are. Not sure who's the better catch, you or the fish lol.

DB: Haha, you're good. I think I'm gonna like you.
DB: I think the best catch will be me cooking up some fish for you. Best of both worlds [I send her a pic I have of some seared Ahi filets I made. Cooked to perfection, surrounded by freshly chopped vegetables. Looks like it came out of a food magazine]
***OK, big show of interest and not even sexual interest from me. What's the dea? Well... I like getting compliments. More importantly, I like girls who are forward and affectionate. She's putting herself out there and I appreciate it. SO I REWARD.

MU: Wow, that looks great. I'm cooking now too. You sure you don't have a girlfriend somewhere? Lol.

OK that was basically it. I get home from Cali. Begin setting up our date...

DB: Back now. Redeye. So sleepy.
DB: But the good news is now we can hang out. You gonna be around this week/weekend?

MU: True I may be free on Friday night. Saturday I'm going to visit my parents so if that doesn't work I'll be back on Sunday.

DB: Let's do Friday then.

MU: Friday sounds like a plan. Let me know when you have something in mind.
MU: By the way, do you have an IG? You should follow me. @XXXXXXXXX

DB: I just added you.
DB: For Friday, I was thinking sushi and wine

MU: Wow, how'd you know those are my two favorite things. You're pretty good

DB: Me too. Match made in heaven I guess.
DB: You know I have to say this: I appreciate that you are very easy going and straight forward about hanging out. I can't stand girls who play difficult.
DB: You win major points.

MU: Of course. I'm really cool about things and I tend not to be so overly emotional and complicated like a lot of women, which is both good and bad lol
MU: Night MB.

***OK, this will need some explanation. First, the IG thing. I know, reading this right now, there's some dumbass PU drones saying "Following her on IG was so beta."

Kick yourself in your own face if that's you.

Let's look at this. This girl is clearly interested in me. Big-time. She's not trying some value play here or anything else you losers who can't imagine what it's like to actually have a top-shelf girl pursuing you is like. Think about it from her shoes: SHE'S TRYING TO LEARN MORE ABOUT ME BY GETTING MY IG. She isn't comfortable straight-up asking me, so this is a workaround.

How weird would it seem if I said no. Or like these dumbass goo-roos preach said something like "You've gotta earn my follow on social media." FUCK YOU. Get over yourself you insecure asshole. Just add the girl.

As a bonus, you get to find out all kinds of shit about her that you can use to game her better. For example, I got to find out about where's she's from, the kind of food she likes, and that she's some sort of model!

AND, IF SHE'S SUPER HOT LIKE THIS GIRL, YOU CAN LAUGH AT ALL THE THIRSTY DUDES WHO COMMENT ON HER SHIT BUT WILL NEVER, EVER TOUCH HER VAGINA.

In fact, let's have some fun with a few of the thirsty comments on this girl's pics:

"Just unfair"
"A woman who literally hypnotizes at site"
"Would take out a second mortgage just to give you the world off appearance alone... You look like ecstacy feels...!!!"
"About to break the internet"
"You're gonna take a selfie that close and I'm not supposed to kiss the screen"
"I wish I could like this picture twice"
"So fine I can't even think"
"Everytime you pop up in my feed I fall in love"

OK enough of that. As an aside, I think THIRST is a much better way to think about this sort of thing. Thirst is awful. Displaying interest isn't.

Look at it literally: I love water. I drink like 1.5 gallons a day. I love the way it feels in my mouth. I love the way it feels in my belly. I tell friends how much I like it too and encourage them to drink it a lot as well. If it were conscious, I'd profess my love for it. But if I go a few hours without it, it's OK. I've already had plenty. It's not a big deal.

But if I haven't had any in 48 hrs. Fuck, I'm going to be desperate. I'll look like shit. My face will be hallow and pale.

Get it? Show interest because you love the girl and want her in your mouth... not because you need her.

Ok, let's move on to the text I sent her about being really appreciative of how easy she was to set up plans. Again, I'm just filtering and rewarding for what I like and giving her incentive to keep doing that. Making my life easier while simultaneously making her feel like she's doing well with me and that her investment is paying off.


OK, next day...

DB: [Pic of me with hair up] The MB is out in full force today.

MU: Hahaha. The power of the MB leaves women helpless I'm sure. Try not to cause too many accidents today.
MU: Work is boring today. I'm playing candy crush. Hopefully things are more productive for you.

DB: Haha I'm pretty sure my goal for Friday is to render you helpless
DB: And yes, I have been very productive today
DB: Although the thought of you helpless on Friday may now be a bit of a distraction

MU: Interesting... they say a helpless woman is an irresistible woman. I only hope that in that state, I'll be in good hands with you.
MU: Perhaps there's something inherently overwhelming about the combination of sushi, wine, and men found in nightclubs. Lol. Anyway, we'll have a fun time.

DB: You'll always be in good hands with me. I probably won't be able to keep them off of you but good hands for sure.

***If you don't see the huge shift this conversation just took, you should turn your balls in right now. From here on out, there is zero doubt in this girls mind that I am going to try to fuck her. And she's onboard. We are now playing the same game, together.

Finally, Friday rolls around. We work out logistics over text. I arrive at the sushi bar.

Grab us seats at the bar. Wait.

She's a few minutes late. Whatever.

She arrives. I just stare at her as she walks in. Don't flinch.

She gets to me. I stand up. We hug. I tell her she looks wonderful. She says me too.

Sit down. Game time.

So the next hour or so is pretty tame. Eating sushi. Drinking wine. Looking into her eyes deeply.

She directly asks me about turn-ons. I tell her she already knows: girls who are affectionate. Forward. Physically open. Sexual.

She qualifies on all of those things. I tell her I don't mean they have to have sex with me. They just have to have sexual energy. Tension.

This is good. Now she knows that either way, we bang or not, I'll still be into as long as she's physical and affectionate with me. That's the truth, too.

We're done eating. Our wine glasses are empty. We're just chatting when I drop the BOMB.

Every date or interaction needs an ESCALATION BOMB. Nothing will happen unless you make it happen.

So she's talking. I zone out looking at her lips. Like completely stop listening and just go into fantasyland. So I figure I'll tell her about it.

I just interrupt her: "I have to say. There have been a bunch of times tonight where you've been talking, but all I can think of is your lips and how badly I want to kiss you. This is one of those moments."

She replies: "We should probably do something about that."

I just look her right in the eye. Hold it a second. "Yeah we should."

Then I look away and take a sip of my water. Hahaha, so sinister.

But, good news for her. We wrap up a few minutes later. Walk out of the bar. And almost immediately I push her into a wall and we make out very hard.

We bounce to another bar. Order a drink. She's sitting in a bar stool. I'm standing. This is one of my favorite setups. Allows me to start dirty-talking and touching her very heavily. So I do. Tell her I have many dirty things I want to do to her. I can't stop thinking about how badly I want her.

You better believe I was getting pretty horny doing all of this. This girl is so fucking hot. I can't take it anymore. I tell her we're leaving. She complies.

Cab back to my apartment. Main room. Immediately making out. Hands under her shirt. Bare skin. Yummy!

She says she should go. I tell her that would be dumb. Push her back down. Make out more heavily.

She gets up again. Says she's leaving. I ask why.

She grabs my cock over the top of my pants: "Because you're dick is rock hard. And my pussy is wet. And I know if I stay I'm going to fuck your brains out."

YES. STILL GOT IT.

Obviously, very easy to get her to stay after this.

I tell her we should go upstairs. Now she says this: "OK, can I take a shower? That's why I've been wanting to leave. I have this thing where I always need to shower before sex and I didn't want you to think I was weird."

Me: "I don't care. That's fine with me." Take her upstairs, give her a fresh towel and wait on the bed while she showers.

She comes out. Wrapped in the towel. Stands at the edge of the bed. Then, just let's it fall. She's completely naked. This girls body is literally perfect (she's 24). Flat stomach, big bum, perfect perky tits. And that long black hair framing it all. She stepped right out of a rap video.

DEAR GOD THANK YOU.

No hesitation. I reach up. Grab her by the back of the hair and throw her down on the bed. I'm on top of her now. Make out. Mouth all over her body. I finger her. Eat her out. Flip her onto her knees and finger her more from behind. Spanking the shit out of her too.

She starts begging to blow me. I tell her not yet. Haha.

Keep going at her. She's cumming non-stop. Screaming. Moaning.

This goes on for sometime. It's awesome. I finally standup. Take off all my clothes and let her have her wishes. We 69. I eat her out more. Face fuck her.

Then she says "I want you to fuck me."

I throw her on her back. Get on top of her. I tell her to say please. She says please. I say louder. She says it louder: PLEASE FUCK ME."

I put on a condom. Destroy it. Thirsty guys everywhere are passed out with FAP tissues on top of them as pathetic sheets.

We sleep. She wakes up. Leaves. Texts me later that she had a wonderful time. I agree. We plan to meet up sometime during the week.

BOOYAH.

Saturday
OK, this is turning into a tome.

Yesterday was awesome. My bday is next week so I planned a dinner out with some of my best friends.

It was awesome. There were 11 of us in all. We had a great dinner at a fancy restaurant and then hit a club my boy had the hookup at. It was awesome. Part of this journal has been about organizing more social events and this was my first 10+ person event. It wasn't too hard to setup, which is always my excuse. So a good lesson.

On top of that, I had a date. A different girl. Who happens to be one of the the Miss [Daniel Balboa's City] from a couple year's ago Haha, that's a whole different story. I met her the day after I met MissUnion.

We'll get to that at some point I'm sure. I'm gonna see her this week again.



FINAL THOUGHTS AND RAMBLINGS

Awesome week. It really was.

I mean... I spent 4 days in San Diego having the time of my life. I spent a fuck ton of cash. Doesn't matter - I have plenty. I didn't work the entire time I was there. Doesn't matter - I have unlimited freedom. I made the plans on short notice. Doesn't matter - I can do that.

In essence, this is a perfect example of where I've brought my career and professional flexibility. I do what I want.

Then I set up a deal to make even more money and put my newest client off on a great foot.

Fucked a turbo hottie.

Put another one right where I want her to be.

Spent a night out with a group of my best friends who didn't let me pay for a thing and all came out to hang out with me. It's awesome.

I have so much to be thankful for. So many blessings. Such a great life. I get caught up in the what's next mindset too often. I look for the next thing and I often feel disconnected and isolated as a result. I don't have to go after anything more. I just have to go after being completely content with what I already have.

And... I have to stop make excuses to myself. Like with the yoga thing, but with everything. I think it's a very valuable skill to be able to spot those scripts running themselves in your mind and then destroy them. The only thing that holds you back is yourself a lot of the times. I know that's true for me so I'm going to be extra cognizant of killing those internal excuses dead.

Finally... game.

Here's what I'm thinking about right now: mate value vs. escalation.

There's no doubt in my mind that both are important. But without escalation, you are getting nowhere. What I mean is this: I've been playing "mate value" game a lot the last several months.

No doubt, my mate value is at an all-time high right now. And it's probably in the top 1% in terms of competition. Thus, the caliber of girl I can attract and get interested to me is top-shelf. Being the most attractive, interesting, well-rounded guy in the neighborhood is always a good strategy.

But I've been weak in escalating and up until this week, when I turned it around by being hyper-sexual, I had gotten no sex as a result.

This goes back to what I always have preached: escalation is the great differentiator. You can have sky-high mate value but if you don't escalate you will never get all the girls you should and you will lose girls to guys who do pull the trigger, even if they have lower mate value than you.

I'm going to make sure this filthy, dirty, sexual game stays. This was an eye-opener for me. I tried to dial it back and it didn't work. So now I just need to combine the two.

Fishing with dynamite

Educational stuff. Thanks for the value.

_________________
My Pick-Up Journal

I think it's time to start posting here each day again.

2015 was a transformational year for me. A lot of shit came together. I can't believe where I am now compared to a year ago. Crazy.

Every indication points to 2016 being a fucking hell of a year, in just about every way possible.

I think it'll be similar to 2012, which was when I was previously journaling. That year was awesome and the "version" of myself right now is better in so many ways.

The key differences this year are... I'm more self-aware, I'm more self-loving and compassionate, I understand the world better, I make at least 5x the money, I am better at managing my time, I am better at managing my social life... and on and on.

The last two month and a half months since I stopped journaling here were incredible as well. Probably the most important months of the year for me. Went to San Diego. Picked up indoor bouldering (which I am now obsessed with). Hooked up with a handful of hotties. Started a new client engagement (the one I mentioned closing months ago). Became an uncle for the second time. Got much better at planning my social life and connecting with the people in it.

Man, it's great. My mental and emotional state right now are at a 10. Top of the world feeling. I'm confident, optimistic, loving. I feel connected to people and to the world. I feel like my life brings value to the world, to other people. Like I have meaning. Or, as the name of this thread says: Ten Feet Tall and Bulletproof. I don't think anything can stop me right now.

Girls-wise... I think I'm at the peak mate value I've ever had. The ease of attraction and caliber of girl are pretty insane right now. I've been complacent about really getting slimy with escalations in the old Dirtbag Daniel ways, but that's one of the reasons I'm bringing this journal back from the dead. Now that so much of my life is basically on autopilot at the ELITE level, I can get back into focusing on just having fun... and what's more fun than sticking my boner in babes!

I think that will be challenge #1.

Challenge #2 is actually counter-intuitive.... Turn down close to 100% of additional work opportunities and basically cut my work commitments down to the bare minimum of delivering on the 2-3 contracts I have right now.

The problem is I get approximately 2 inquiries a week from people wanting me to do work for them. A lot of them are really cool opportunities that will pay well.

That's a challenge because I'm really type-A, because good money is hard to turn down, because I love what I do, and because the competitor in me wants the entire industry to know I'm the best.

But none of that is worth it considering this: I'm moving back to the ocean in May. It's been two years. That's two years too long. Everything else after this is just icing on the cake.

That means any extra hours I work come at a huge opportunity cost. Which means any extra money I make is probably not adding a lot of value to my life if it's taking me out of the water to get done.

I've spent a lot of time over the last few years getting to where I am now. The goal back when I started all of this was something along the lines of: get myself to a place where I can spend as much time with people I like and love doing things that I want to do and making the world a better place.

I'm there now. That's what this year will be about.

As for a little daily run-down, to get in the habit:

Usually I work out in the late afternoon but today I woke up and flip-flopped the usual schedule by heading straight to the gym. I've been experimenting with that setup a little lately. It's OK. I usually feel great and it's nice to have my evenings wide open, but I do feel like I'm less productive with my work if I don't do it first thing in the AM.

I was supposed to have a coffee date tonight, so that's why I switched it up today. But she texted and said she got slammed at work, so that didn't happen in any case.

This girl was a pure cold approach in a bar. I walked up to her friend and her and was like "Hey, can I interrupt you guys for one second [mostly to the friend, then immediately turning to my girl]... I can't take my eyes off of you... blah blah blah."

We were off to the races but I was also leaving shortly so it was a pretty short conversation. Minimal texting since. She works for some startup and is probably being overworked so we'll see. She's crazy hot so I'll keep fingers crossed.

Anyway, got to the gym around 8:30am.

Deadlifted. Fucked around with some muscle ups and front levers on the pullup bar. KB swings... KB Step-ups... some quick woodchoppers with resistance bands... and box jumps and called it a day.

Good workout but minimal hotties there. There was one black chick who's decent but I paid her next to no attention. I've gotta be careful at this gym. I took one of the girls out this past weekend and I've been climbing 2x per week with the head trainer. We have a massive little flirt/crush thing going on and it's about time to capitalize.

The only problem is both these chicks know many of the other hotties in the gym and also kind of know each other. So I'm treading lightly with bringing more girls into that fold and with how I play this out with each of them. But they both have asses that I just want to eat my meals out of, so I guess it's worth the slight risk.

So came home, showered and whatnot.

I got to my co-working place around noon. Worked for a while. Left to go grab a late lunch. Worked some more and then headed home. None of the girls in there today were really too intriguing either.

EXCEPT THE GIRL WHO WORKS THERE WHO IS ABOUT 18 AND SUPER HOT.

I want her to sit on my face. We always flirt a little bit. She's so young and smiley. So hot. Damn.

She gets really bashful every time I talk to her. I just started coming into this place about a week ago, so I'll work it from here.

Came home. Did a little foam rolling and yoga. Ate, chilled, and now here I am.

Life is damn good lately. Big year ahead.