New guy, fresh start



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 Post subject: New guy, fresh start
PostPosted: Tue Sep 29, 2015 2:51 am 
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Joined: Tue Sep 29, 2015 2:43 am
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Newb here, been in LTR (long term relationship) for quite a while, fairly fresh out, so quite rusty.

I'm a busy worker bee, but I work in a large company, with lots of women around. I think most people don't like to do anything in this environment, but it's where I'm at right now, looking for a little advice.

Met a girl at an event, got friendly, beautiful, seems nice, smart, all that. We work in very different areas, so I don't see her hardly ever. We ended up booking the same event recently, and I started talking to her, and we ended up agreeing to drive together, due to the long commute.

My question is: Since we don't see each other much, this is one of a few opportunities to try to get something going. We have maybe 2 hours of drive time (most of the day will be busy with activities), and I'd like some tips / suggestions to help get me in her mind, so she's thinking about me after, to move things from 'acquaintance' to 'possibly something more' in that situation and timeframe.

Any help would be appreciated. She's giving me a ride, so nothing that will get me stranded hopefully ;)


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 Post subject: Re: New guy, fresh start
PostPosted: Tue Sep 29, 2015 5:05 am 
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The Coach
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Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2011 7:44 am
Posts: 4170
Location: Chicago, IL
You're banking way too hard on getting this one girl. It's very needy and unattractive. You're coming at it with the wrong mindset.


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 Post subject: Re: New guy, fresh start
PostPosted: Tue Sep 29, 2015 7:52 am 
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Have fun and flirt on the road. It's a 2 hour date. Or so you should see it. Make something of it.

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 Post subject: Re: New guy, fresh start
PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2015 5:03 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 29, 2015 2:43 am
Posts: 2
Appreciate all the feedback, and perspectives.

Little post action follow-up, if anyone cares to give feedback:

Kept things casual as suggested, friendly chatting on the road up and at the event. She mentioned she had a boyfriend early on, which could be true or just trying to set up a roadblock, dunno, didn't engage her on it, just tried to slide into other conversation.
Event was fun, we laughed a lot, and as the day wore on, she mentioned the boyfriend a couple more times, but in increasingly negative contexts (we dont have a lot in common, not sure about our future, etc), which I still didn't engage on, but was good to hear.
Tried to throw in a few casual friendly touches throughout the day, on the arm, shoulder, didn't take take it farther.
Good talk on the way back, by the end she was asking Qs about me. Didn't arrange any follow-up meetings, just let the day be its own thing. Next day, she sent text unsolicited.

Not going to pursue for now, I feel I met my main goal, which was just to get her thinking about me, and if the "boyfriend" situation changes in the future, can revisit.

Overall I feel it went well, was good practice, and learning, but if anyone sees any missed opportunities, or blunders, or things I could learn from feel free to let me know.

Thanks
-P


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 Post subject: Re: New guy, fresh start
PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2015 5:38 pm 
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English Muffin
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Posts: 5689
Really shouldn't put any energy into women with boyfriend's. She could just be friendly and yet you're on forums thinking of ways to boink her.

Chase other girls. Be yourself around her and if her situation changes, then happy days. You are powerless in these dynamics, if she wants to cheat, she will make it obvious to you. Don't even try to game it

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