I was on campus and met this cute little blonde girl. We met at a scholarship award ceremony and it seemed like we had a connection. She said she felt like she knew me and I said the same. Later I saw her on campus and we talked and she seemed happy to see me. I think I fucked it up by doing too much kino though, because the third time we had seen each other I touched her ear and she said "you are touchy-feely." I've gotten this line before at the club by a friend cock-blocking for her friend when I just did a little kino. So maybe it's only when the girl is not interested that they will say this. I responded with "I'm just comfortable with you." I see know that that was probably to overly emotionally reaching. Then we walked off, but I felt it was kind of weird. I had her number so the next week I called her to get together. She answered and was all blase. She made some joke about me being gay and I called her a little shit (not good it was spiraling into negativity, but I was trying to redeem some dignity). Then she made a few more witty jokes about me that I didn't have responses to and she said "see what I just did there". I ended it by saying "I can get rid of your number of you don't want me to call anymore.. It's not a big deal." And she said, "Well if it's not a big deal then yeah get rid of it." And that ended it.

I'm wondering did I fuck up already with the kino earlier that she was just acting like that on the phone to get rid of me? And does anyone understand why girls feel the need to make fun of guys and just be bitches to get rid of them? Do they really get hit on so much that they have to adapt bitchiness skills to get rid of guys? Also, could she just have been shit testing me on the phone? How could I turn her jokes around and pass with dignity, even if I don't get the girl?

You took some meaningless flirty banter too far and she called your bluff. You weren't actually supposed to follow through with ditching her number or getting rid of her or cut contact.

Sure it's a bit of a shit test but you are basically shit testing yourself here with a dumb line. You failed by beating yourself.

Do you have a concept of what flirting is????

Would have been perfectly fine to say "Maybe tomorrow. I'm feeling magnanimous today"... Or not bother making a statement you have no intention of following through with to begin with (like you're happy to delete her number or stop calling or whatever you said).

Just BE NORMAL. You're trying too damn hard, dude.

So basically, you got butthurt because she called you touchy feely?

That should have been like water of a ducks back. You should have barely even acknowledged it, and kept doing your thing.

In other words, care less.

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She destroyed the frame perfectly.

Now you have a perfect reference to of experience to do the same to other girls.

A simple winky face emoticon probably could of prevented this fail.

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Ever heard of "flirting?"

Make fun of her back!!

Shit man... think back to 4th grade.

Its called spiraling into "bitch-mode".

Its when you get into feminine back and forth with a woman and allow the things they say to affect your state. It happens.

I always tell guys, " If you believe them when they say you're great, you'll believe them when they say you suck". Which is why i receive compliments and "hate" as one in the same. Regardless of what people say I still have to know who i am and I still have to believe in myself. So opinions whether positive or negative don't move me. I appreciate them both. Its a reaction and shows I'm doing something right to be rewarded with the attention.

If a girl said " You're so handsome" you wouldn't compliment them for noticing. You wouldn't feel a need to defend yourself. So why is it when she said " You're so touchy feely" you did? Unless you feel like theres something wrong with being touchy feeling? And if you do, then you should get into a state in which you feel more comfortable about touching women before you do it.

Take it all as the same man. You have to know who and what you are at the end of the day.

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You got some self esteem issues OP. I mean, you broke down at the ever so slightest hint of pressure.

This fail is on you. Learn from it.

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There's no such thing as shit-tests.
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And that is what i hate about seduction.Is so two-faced it makes me wanna puke.
When you build attraction you have to badboy/jerk.No problem playing that role.But you also have to build comfort.Where you basicly have to shift your personality to nice guy mode.No problem playing that role neither.But i cant play both.I cant shift.It feels awkward.Two faced.
If i have to be the badboy/jerk then i wanna be that all the way and not suddenly switch to a nice guy persona.Its weird and i think the shifting from badboy to niceboy.Thats the part most guys struggle with.You need to combine both and balance it right.You have to be two faced.Rollercoaster.You have 2 keep shifting like a fucking race car.And we all know racing cars is tricky.

Being a 'bad boy' doesn't make you a cunt.

What is your definition of a bad boy?

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What are you talking about? you just have to be normal and non-supplicant.

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My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

So I guess I really don't understand flirting. I was a quite nice shy kid, and I don't remember ever calling a girl names and if a girl made fun of me I took it literally like she didn't like me. I did let her destroy the frame, but I guess I'm missing something here, because it's not like I was all mopey about it (I did call her a lil shit once), I just start thinking that the girl doesn't like me and move on. I really don't know how to recognize flirting or when I need to give her shit back. For one thing I do feel scared because I don't like confrontation and I can't tell if it's confrontation or what, so I just don't know how to respond and freeze up. And if this is flirting why the hell do people do it? I don't like it at all. I don't like to make fun of people; I never have, so I've never done it. And when I like a girl, I wouldn't want to make fun of her... I know this is supposed to flip the attraction switches, so I do it, but I really don't understand how anyone could possibly enjoy being made fun of. And this girl did it to me not in a really fun playful way, but in this blase way that appeared disrespectful and trying to get rid of me way, and again I don't know how to interpret the difference, and I don't want to be disrespected, so I just got off the phone and said fuck it.

Please guys help me to interpret flirting and why this is supposed to be fun.

And yes, I realize I try way too hard, but for real I feel like I don't understand NORMAL social cues. I really need this shit spelled out for me as I didn't learn it as a kid I guess.

Do i detect a little autism?

People just don't like people that brag and talk about themselves a lot. This is a universal issue. This is just one example that humans are anal about...

It's the same as the opposite. Flirting, is universally liked, so maybe you don't like it and hate it but it's a universal attraction trigger. So figure it out. It really isn't that hard. If a girl is telling that you're old but she is still smiling and playing with hair, it's a non brainer that it's flirting.

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