Hey guys. So I have been dating my girlfriend for 8 months. We are both 19 and in our second year of university. I was quite the AFC chode when I first got to school last year, but after reading up on PUA I slowly changed my life. I didn't start out trying to game my girlfriend. She was in a different class taught by a same professor as I had, and we made an agreement that she would tutor me in exchange for me driving her closer to home some days since she takes the bus. Things progressed from there and we began a relationship. She is my first girlfriend, the first girl I gamed and the girl I lost my virginity with. I really like her and can see us being together long term. The sex is great and she doesn't play games, throw out shit tests or be a bitch. But there is one thing I feel is getting in the way of our relationship and I'm not sure how I can handle or fix it:

My girlfriend is a very plain girl. While she is not ugly, she is not pretty either. She's average I guess. She doesn't do her eyebrows or wax or shave her body hair. She is very fair and of northern European decent and her eyebrows and body hair is like light blonde/white baby down hair (even her pubes) so she told me she never bothered. She has sort of straight light blonde hair and bangs, which she only wears up. She wear glasses but not like sexy librarian ones, they are larger and rounder. She doesn't dress girly, she wears plain, not tight clothes and no dresses, heels or sexy boots. She doesn't wear makeup, jewelry or perfume or do her nails. She only wears sports bras and plain cotton underwear. Now that she is my girlfriend this bothers me. I have tried talking with her about it but she thinks doing girly stuff is a waist of time and prefers to focus on school and intelligent stuff. Even though she is in her second year like me she's in a accelerated program and will be getting a PHD one day. I have been making more friends and being way more social and I feel like her being so plain is a huge DLV in the eyes of my friends and the cool people on campus. She just keeps saying she was this way when we started dating so I shouldn't change her. She prefers to stay in or study and doesn't like clubs, drinking or partying. I like her but when I see all the hot girls around campus and at clubs I get pangs because I know my girlfriend could be smoking hot if she dressed girly, wore makeup and did her hair (and maybe got contacts) But no matter what I say and do my girlfriend won't listen. Please help me guys I'm desperate here.

It's not a DLV if you're confident to have her as your girlfriend. If anything it will create mystery and interest in you from both men and women. Just be vague and enigmatic if anyone asks why you're with your girlfriend. It will draw people more into you. If that's your worry you shouldn't. You should want your girlfriend to dress more feminine for you and herself.

You could try hinting at it like "treat" her to a day spa or something and have them give her a wax and whatever then go over the top when you see how much different she looks. Women are shallow, all of them are. They're extremely vain! If she cuts her hair or changes you worship the ground she walks on after it. She will keep it up.

Another, cheaper way to do it is to gradually break her in. Given how women are, the vanity at their core, you can make her change one small thing. Say it's shaving her pussy. Just say "You know what I would like to try... I'd like to try see what it's like to have sex with a shaven pussy." She'll most likely do it the once and when you see it, go down on her and fuck her just go nuts at how incredible it is and how much better it feels and shit. She'll keep shaving. After that move onto other things like her hair. Just drop a line, mess with her hair and say "Wow, when you let your hair down like that you look so sexy." then after that keep referring to it the way you like her hair to be. What i'm saying is: If you make her feel like a princess she will keep doing what it takes to look like one.

Honestly, if that doesn't work and she's dug in on the subject just talk to her. It's not a particularly nice conversation to have and point out but you just have to sit her down and go for it. There are some women who just won't get it at all and they're the ones you literally have to spell it out to and complain about to them. It's not sexy to have a burly girlfriend who doesn't keep up to date with scaping and shit like that.

^Thanks man. I really needed to hear this. I am way more social and confident now then before I became a PUA but I still struggle a little with insecurity and what others think of me. I've straight up had people ask why a guy like me is with a girl like her, and I know I should own it instead of feeling like a little bitch inside.
I've tried the spa thing and unfortunately it failed miserably. She argued with me that it was a waste of time/money, it was like pulling teeth to get her to go, when she did they couldn't get any of her arm/leg hair off with the wax because it's so light and thin and she refused to let them near her pubic hair. And she wouldn't let them dye her hair or give her a facial because of the ingredients in the cosmetics.
It's so weird because I know your right but the thing is she HATES it when I call her sexy or compliment her looks. She says it's a big turnoff and she wants to be valued for her character and her intelligence. She has a cousin who went to hairdressing school and she let the cousin practice trimming her bangs and styling her hair and she looked so hot with her hair down in big curls and I told her so but the whole way home in the car she complained about how she hated it and the second we got in the door she hit the shower before I could touch her, washed all the crap out of her hair and put in pulled back in her normal hairstyle.

I'm at a complete loss here guys. Whenever I hint at it she says I shouldn't try to change it. I haven't given her an ultimatum or anything like that but one time when I brought it up she told me she would start waxing, styling her hair and wearing contacts and girly clothes if I put on 20 pounds of muscle, got some tattoos and starting wearing ripped jeans and leather. Obviously she was being sarcastic but I didn't appreciate her making light of a serious situation like this. I just don't get why she should wouldn't want to be a hottie.

A sure way to get her to get sexified? Take better care of yourself (mentally and physically). Partner's are always pinging their significant other to ensure things are status quo. IF you implement some change into the mix, particularly for yourself, the partner won't want to 'fall behind' or disappoint by doing nothing (the expectation for change this way is implicit - no need to have conversations).

Plainly put, start working out, dress more nicely etc.. Nothing worse for a woman than to feel like the odd 'man' out with her partner - feel she's not worthy (e.g., lesser attractive in your case).

does she have any friends that you know of and communicate with ?

that could be another avenue to work on

When ever we meet other couples and she wonders "why is he with her" or "why is she with him" it's because one of them is smarter then the other, not better looking. And unfortunatly all her friends are egg-heads and science geeks like her. They are all either ugly or plain like her. None of them could be described as attractive by anyone. They are all only interested in books and school and science stuff like her. Her cousin (the one who did her hair) is a HB9 that likes normal girl stuff like shopping, makeup and going to clubs. My girlfriend doesn't see eye to eye with her cousin on most things. She likes to say about her cousin "Beauty may be skin deep but vapid goes clear to the bone".

I don't wish to be mean, but.... in your position I would dump her!

She seems like a real geek, and most importantly, she sounds like WAY too much hard work!

But that's just my personal view. No harshness intended!

Sounds like your gf isn't going to change.You can improve yourself as a way to get her to, but my guess is she still won't and she will look at you taking these steps as a sign of vanity and look at you differently. You picked her to be your gf, so if you are attracted to her and like her personality just stay.

Your'e young, this is your first gf and first time having sex. Enjoy it. Odds are it's not going to last forever and this is just a milestone for you.

[quote]She is my first girlfriend, the first girl I gamed and the girl I lost my virginity with. I really like her and can see us being together long term. [quote]

You came into this from a place of no other options and picked the first girl that wanted you to be your gf. Not saying to dump her, but you're afraid to leave because she's all you've ever had. Improve yourself, and if you lose attraction for her due to her appearance, walk away and find someone you're attracted to.

neo's advice is spot-on as always.

Do not try to change her into something she doesn't want to be. However, if I was you I'd ask her how much she loves you. Tell her for you to be fully satisfied in the relationship, occasionally she has to dress hot around you. Ask her if she's willing to do it to make you happy, and therefore it would not be a waste of time. Explain to her you are a man and as men we are attracted to good looks. That does make us superficial to some extend, but as a science geek she should know it's basic huMAN nature/law... And start going to the gym so you don't sound hypocritical.

At the same time you have to assess yourself. Are you with her because you are scared you won't find someone else? Or are you totally happy with her and maybe just feel your self esteem suffering when you listen to your friends? Would you be happy if she dresses hot ONLY when you 2 are alone?

I have to ask; if this is true why the fuck are you still here?

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

She's absolutely right. You got with her how she is, why would you expect her to significantly change who she is? Either suck it up and stay with her or leave. If you're looking for someone long term, you should look for someone that fits you and your long term needs instead of getting with them and trying to change them significantly.

This isn't to say that people can't make small changes, but the changes you're looking for are large changes on her basic personality and it is NOT going to happen.

Two choices:

1. Dump her and sarge hotter girls so you can have a hotter girlfriend.

2. Sarge hotter girls, relegate her to fuck buddy, and add hot girls to your harem.

Don't try to change people who don't want to change. And don't settle for anything less than you want.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Are you with her for you down vanity or do you actually love her?

It sounds like this entire relationship is predicated on your superficiality of wanting a 'hot' girlfriend. If that's what you want let this one go, she deserves better, and well you can find a 'hot' girl elsewhere.

2013

Who the fuck revived this old thread?

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html