Thanks for the detailed feedback Chocolate (I didn't see the previous post before responding to your shorter one)
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You should avoid asking a woman for permission for ANYTHING. Whether it be for a kiss, or to "join" them. All of a sudden, by asking to "join" them, you turned yourself into sort of a "beggar" mentality.
With you.
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Also, since one of them was openly hostile to you, I would have avoided asking the group anything, but concentrated on speaking to the woman or women who gave the best positive feedback
She was the only one who paid me much attention. She was looking at me quite intently and seemed to want to interact with me but this comment I made about tattoos seemed to become a sticking point.
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Playful or no, you should NEVER have agreed to what she said. Either play it off or defend yourself if she won't drop it.
I was playing by shit test rules, and I'm assuming you don't think this was a shit test.
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It sounds to me as if you're very caught up on expressing your intent verbally, but in a negative manner. Nothing is wrong with what you said to them, especially if done playfully, I just see it as something that will become an issue later on.
Fair. And yes, what you said about wanting to verbalise my intent is probably a bit too true.
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That was a horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE thing to come out of the blue and say. Try to elicit positive emotions from your set, rather than asking such divisive questions. I can guarantee you that this woman is straight, but she just gave you that answer because she was annoyed and wasn't interested in you so agreed so you could pretty much leave her alone.
I wasn't interested in her either as it happens, her friend was the fit one. But yes I was being a dick.
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Don't ask these kinds of questions. Escalate, judge her reaction, and move on from there. These sorts of questions will only serve to get you in trouble and ruin your set.
Can you explain that last sentence? Yes, I'm sure you're right. And again there was a need to verbalise intent. Some of the explanation for that might be found in this thread
general-questions/need-liked-everybody-vt192730.html Perhaps some bad habits I need to shake off.
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They probably weren't. You didn't spark enough attraction.
I'm a little dubious of that. They told me they'd been in a relationship for four years. But who knows?
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This is ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL in a night time environment. I suggest you read up on one of the many threads by people like Skills360 on dancefloor and club game.
Cool. As a huge introvert that's the most challenging environment, but yes.
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That's awesome, and I hope you keep up the positive energy. Everything won't go perfectly, but that's ok, and continue to focus on moving forward.
Indeed. I approached 10 sets the last week which is the most I've ever approached, which is a landmark in itself. And I still feel good as shit about it. But yeah, I appreciate the stuff you've said. To be honest, Dragula's last post has made me realise that I need to revolutionise my approach, a lot of this stuff just comes to me walking around with the wrong kind of head on my shoulders.
Can you explain that last sentence? Yes, I'm sure you're right. And again there was a need to verbalise intent. Some of the explanation for that might be found in this thread
general-questions/need-liked-everybody-vt192730.html Perhaps some bad habits I need to shake off.
As much as possible, you want to lead a woman and be dominant. In a night time environment, you also will want to engage her EMOTIONS rather than logic.
Seeking her permission and asking her questions accomplishes neither. Even if a woman subconsciously WANTS to kiss you, she'll often (not always) tell you no. Because that's her default programming.
Asking if she wants to snog/kiss is not dominant, or leading, and will engage her default programming (unless she is really into you). Avoid that whole issue by leading her and judging her body language.
CHAT