A few days ago, I was reading a post from the Majikal Method, he was saying a man should realize:
1. he will be ok if he ends up alone
2. he will be ok if he is not liked

I thought "wow, those 2 lines alone seem to take care of 80% of my problems"

I dont need to describe my problem in detail because I am sure you know what I am talking about. I want to be liked by everybody. I am always afraid someone will get offended because of me.

today I was on the street and this guy was walking his dog. I like dogs and usually when I see a dog I make that kissing sound that dogs like and most owners dont mind.
so when I made this kissing sound, the guy starts freaking out and got angry for some reason. then I walked away and looked back after a few steps and the guy gave me the finger. This immediately put me in god mode. I realized "wow, if I am not liked by everybody, I will be ok." I felt like I could approach any girl at that point.

how can I reinforce this idea in my head and honestly believe it? I was thinking of just saying something offensive to everybody for the next few days. Example: I see a person from XYZ category (XYZ could be a race or religion) I say "fuck all XYZ people" would that work?

Majik's advice is good and Majik is a great masculine male role model for guys on here who have personalities that are leaning more on the feminine. However, there's no need to put yourself in great physical danger by expressing hostility with every person you see.

Be civil and cordial to everybody even if they are not to you. Just be sure to stand up for yourself when someone crosses the line. Yep. Not everyone will like you BUT there's really no need to breed hatred.

Sure, the opposite of like is hate. You just have to accept though that many will simply be neutral; not liking you but not hating you either. And some who like you now, may hate you tomorrow and vice-versa. Such is the nature of human interactions.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

You just keep doing exactly what you did man. You keep on keepin on.

Here's my deal man...

I don't advertise "I don't give a fuck!!"

It's honestly just I don't have time to give a fuck.

I'm sure if I did nothing but sit around all day and watch TV and some shit like that happened, I'd stop watching TV and just sit around thinking about the case.

If I stop and play with someones dog who looks like they want some attention, and the guy tells me to fuck off... Cool bro. I've got 3 other places I could be right now that are way more beneficial to me so I don't really have time to care that you're pissed cause I don't give a fuck about you.

Make sense?

It's not like you all the sudden stop caring about what people think of you. If anything, I find that I've gotta be more and more conscious of that. I've slowly but surely become a role model for some people so I do have to care what people think. (Thanks for the shout out btw. Good to know I'm making you think )

But on the same token, if someone sits around bashing me? Pfft. I don't have time to be mad or upset about it.

Monsignor Crisanto, it's interesting that you figured I lean on the feminine side. I grew up with 2 sisters and my mother, I had no brother and my father was always out working. so yeah, I am a little sensitive/feminine (I think the official word is "mama's boy"?)

Majikal Method, I get what you are saying: your time is too valuable to spend thinking about who liked you and who disliked you. I guess in that case my problem is that my time is not that valuable?
but how do I honestly and truly believe that 1) I am the man 2) I will be ok if I am not liked?
before approaching a girl or telling someone my opinion about anything, how can I believe that whether I am liked is not even part of the equation? not pretend to believe, but honestly believe?

Good post Bart and I also applaud your self-examination.

I'd recommend this book: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Primal-Scream-T ... mal+scream

It talks about how for some of us, we are not accepted by our parents and so end up creating a false self which is to their liking in order to get "symbolic" approval. So that might be performing academically or in some other way or just being nice. It talks about how there may be a "primal scene" in your childhood where you realise that you won't be accepted for who you are and so you cut yourself off from your true feelings and the purpose of the therapy is to break through the false/neurotic self and bring out the true person. I should say although I think this book is really perceptive and useful though, I'm not sure I agree with the idea of just walking in and trying to do this any time. It has to be in a person's own time as it's a very painful thing.

This was the case for me. I had such a scene in my childhood when my mother got massively angry about something harmless I was doing, to the extent that I felt like she might walk out if I continued. Worse, this thing had to do with me expressing myself, which is kind of what I'm about as a writer/songwriter, so it was pretty devastating. I learned to try and express myself in "correct" ways and it actually led to me feeling unable to write lyrics for many years because I was so bound up by this.

I don't know if this is at all relevant to you so please send it right back if it isn't. However, you were talking about wanting to be liked, and I think perhaps that's a similar thing, not necessarily being willing to be the real you if that you might be rejected. I've realised that I've been living with so much fear in daily life about expressing myself, and I've done exactly what you suggested doing, saying offensive or outlandish things to prove that I had a voice because that's what I felt I lacked. But it really didn't help me, so I definitely wouldn't recommend going down this line deliberately. The only thing you can do is to address where the fear of abandonment comes from. It really isn't that hard actually to get to the real you. Just tell the truth. I did a lot of writing about my family and various people in my life and am seeing things with a whole different perspective now, realising how much I've been controlled. But I didn't tell the truth about family members, I whitewashed their behaviour and how I felt about it, maybe because I felt I needed them or owed them something. But once you start telling the truth to yourself about who people are to you and how they've affected you, you start to become real and yeah that can be painful but the pain I've experienced is nothing compared to the rewards I've reaped. I'm really starting to like and respect myself, and I'm actually starting to live my life not feeling scared. It's awesome.

Anyway, this may be completely irrelevant to you so please don't burden yourself about it if so, but I thought this might help. Best of luck.

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If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

I dunno... you tell me. Is your time valuable to you? It is to me. I've got a lot of shit I'm trying to get done and very little time here to do it.
You can't just tell yourself "I am the man." you've gotta be the man.

And you'll be okay when you're not liked when it starts happening.

I've "stepped on people's heads" in order to get myself to the next step. I've had to tell plenty of people to fuck off. I've had to do some things that I'm not necessarily proud of. I've lost a lot of old friends. My family has pretty much disowned me.

Are you okay with all that happening?

Things suck for a while when you're in that "transition" phase but it was all worth it for me. I can't tell you if it will be the same way for you but it's really up to you to make a decision.

Are you actually "the man?" Is your time the most precious thing in the world? Do other peoples opinions really matter to you? Does it matter to you that nobody else may ever care about your opinion? Think about it...

(Sorry if I'm getting a little "heady" on you. I feel like you're about to figure something out and I'm trying to inspire you to think differently.)