Hey guys so recently I have been talking to this girl. A girl who by all means is beautiful and gorgeous. We have been "friends" not too close of friends, and went out on a date the other night. Of course we just called it hanging out. But it was just us two. We went to a paint class, drank wine, had dinner, drank more, sang karaoke, and I even held her hand while we walked on the pier of old Sac. By all measures it was a good night. We definitely had a good time. At the end of the night she got home and I let her know she was an amazing girl. She told me I was an amazing man.

Cut to two weeks later, we have been texting and hung out once prior to the two weeks and I hang with her and her friends at a dance club. I am excited because I will be dancing with her grind style on the floor. Anyway I meet her friends it all good and then we get to dancing. I was dancing in their group front to front for like 10 min. Inched around to start grinding her but she shifted and didn't accept. I found it strange because I thought well shit, she invited me out, but does not want to grind? Okay that's fine maybe she doesn't like that. 5 min late this guy approaches her says like 3 words she smiles and they arrange themselves in a grinding position. I couldn't believe my eyes. I extended my arm to her to see if maybe she accepted out of politeness but she gave me the no it's cool signal and I did not like that shit. My buddy was with me and was like damn bro I am sorry. I danced in the crowd for like 2 more minutes until I said F it and me and my boy left.

I want to know what possibly could have happened for me to blow what I think I had. Maybe I misread signals. I am disappointed In myself. Do any of you PUAs have suggestions or comments on the story I have provided. Any info is greatly appreciated.

There's your answer.

You need to define the type of relationship you have with women. Are you friends or are you more than that?
Sorry bro but a good night would've ended in you two sharing a mindshattering orgasm.
A decent night is passionately making out before LMR kicks in and sends you home blue balled but kinda satisfied.
A failure is holding hands thinking it meant something.

You probably don't realize this, but being excited about clubbing because you "get to grind" with her makes you a scrap dog. The type that hangs around the kitchen table hoping the stars will align themselves and a piece of meat may just fall off.
Meanwhile the wolf is out on the hunt and gets more in 3 minutes than you got in 3 weeks. Because he showed intent and had the balls of a proper hunter.

Why is she an amazing woman? What did she do to earn that? Was it the nonexistent kiss or the sex that lacks entirely?

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Haha that reminds of the old times. I have had a few things like this happen to me.

Like, you shouldn't underestimate the power of supplication. It can really mess it shit up big time for you.
This is a bad move in my experience. If it was me, i would only hang out when it is just one on one. Or, you can least tell her you're at a club and that she is cool to join. The issue is. As soon as you turn up to the club of her choice with your friends, you all get put in the supplication funnel. The dynamic is totally messed up. For me, I would flake offers like this and will only met her one on one with out the club shite and all it's competition. It really is taking a girl to a Lion's den, there is so much competition man.

Additionally, as RC has mentioned, you're being pretty needy, your mindset is too focused on grinds and kissing. play to win, Don't play not to lose - In your head - because you had a moment in the past with her, doesn't mean every time you meet her it's going to be the same...you have to build your value from scratch again. As soon as you focus all your attention on her. You've lost.

Hard to describe by text but supplication is a game killer. Something as small and simple as her telling you to hold her drink can play a crucial role in value exchange and can be a big factor in getting sex or not.

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Thanks for the replies guys! Dragula and R.C, you're giving me a viewpoint of the situation that friends just don't have the knowledge to give. This is helpful.

Dragula, can you explain supplication in a little more detail?

Supplication in this context means kissing up to a woman. Trying to impress by doing favors. Big or small.

I was grabbing a coffee this morning with a girl before work. We sat down, and she wanted to smoke a cigarette. She gave me that puppy eye look, pecked lips, all the charming cuteness in the world and asked "Can you grab the ashtray for me?".
I playfully replied "I'm sure you can handle that yourself, it's over there". It wasn't necessarily far away, maybe a couple of feet. But it did require me to get up and walk a few paces.
She replied in a jokingly frustrated manner, flapping her arms around in protest while carrying herself over and grabbing her tray.

Now I know a vast majority of newbies will read this post and never do any "favors" for women ever again. Please don't do that.

Picture two scenarios:
1. You're by the ashtray rack for whatever reason.
2. You're sitting down and the rack is out of arm's reach.

Do you say yes to both women or no to both women?

You say yes to the first. Grabbing the tray when you're by the rack is no big deal and costs you very little effort. Refusing is simply tryhard and not normal.

You say no to the second. Does that feel unnatural to you? it shouldn't. It's pretty much the same exact situation as if you were out with a friend. Would you stand up for that fucker and walk halfway across the room to get him whatever item he desires in the moment? No. And that's fine, because if two people are sitting down talking and one of them wants something that involves a degree of effort that is above "very little to little", he should get it himself. That's normal

In both scenarios you're being non-supplicant. You're not going out of your way to please.
The biggest reason why most men fail is because their first instinct is to comply. Add in her cute mannerism to the equation and he's fetching the item before she even finishes her plea.

The point is to walk that midline. Do nice things for her sometimes, be the challenging prick other times. There's a proper time and place for both.

In the simplest of terms, she wants to cage your inner beast. But she never wants it captive. Let her taste the illusion of almost succeeding, and then shatter it with a cold shower of reality. She'll love you for it.
Or find yourself drunk and confused, by the 2nd bottle of vodka, asking yourself what the fuck did she mean by "You've changed. You're just not the same as you were when we met."

I'm think Drag would agree with me, but if not he'll surely call me a bellend and add his contribution to this post.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

I think you nailed it my friend.

Also to add, a girl asked me if she could play with my pocket square. Instead of giving it to her, I told her to spin around and if I like what I see then I shall let her play with it.

She still got what she wanted and I wasn't tooled in the process and I conveyed that I'm just not a door mat.

So, if a girl wants you to jump through her hoops, make sure she jumps through yours 1st. This way, you can maintain control of the frame.

This one time in daygame, I got a great reaction. But then she said she need to be somewhere and told me to follow her, I felt the dynamic change and of course it flaked. I should of walked in the direction I was supposed to be heading instead of following her lead. It's a massive shift in dynamics.

A common situation is when girls say "are you gonna buy me a drink?" - it is better to laugh and tell her to fuck off "lol fuck off, I'm not one of those guys, sorry" - I would try to get her to buy me one

Supplication can be within conversation too, if you're agreeing with everything she says just because you think the commonalities will help, wrong, you're supplicating verbally. Feel free to disagree if you truly disagree and stick your ground. Don't be the "me too!" Guy

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