or does this just means dial back the communication a bit.


I have been dating a girl for 8 months. Right now she is says exhausted and has told me she wants a little break. I don't blame her. I didn't reciprocate love and I didn't give her my full presence. I didn't realize how many times I rejected her femininity in the last couple months. I have been reading a little bit on relationships and never understood why she got upset whenever I missed kissing her in the morning...in my head I thought she was overreacting but in reality all she wanted was the kiss which acknowledged I cared.


Lately she has been saying that she just worries I won't keep my promise. The promise of me being better (back then I couldn't figure out what i was doing wrong). She worries that I will do the same thing over. Rejecting her gestures of love.

I figured it out last night. So before I told her I would agree to the reduced time apart, I would want to see her one more time. I went to her house and we had incredible sex. I practiced the gift of giving her my love and presence and she reciprocated. It was a great time...the next morning she asked about the break, I told her that I mean technically I will be going home for a week so she can have some time anyway. I still agreed to it because I mean, only time will tell. But that morning she did say she will miss me and she even asked how long will I be gone. I think she will come around but if she doesn't at least I learned something. I have started talking to other girls.


I am asking about the soft next because it is only applied when she exhibits bad behavior. But she really hasn't, it just been me not paying attention and ignoring the signs. Shes is a good woman. Has definitely opened my eyes to some of my shortcomings when it comes to relationships.

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You been reading " The Way Of The Superior Man " ? lol.

I hate to see guys refer to that book when their relationships start to become unsuccessful. They misinterpret everything, and use the lessons to make excuses for poor behavior.

From this post I can already tell that you're being a bit too clingy and a bit too accepting of her behavior. And she's pretty much bitching you around just because you're allowing it to happen. Ive seen it time and time again, and I've experienced it myself. Its cool at first. And then guys come with the " out of no where. I don't know what happen" type of post.

Just give her the space she's asking for man. Completely. Give her at least four days to get it together. Even if she texts you during those four days, don't reply. Give her what she wanted.

I figured you would of learned from these patterns by now. Sounds similar to the last situation lol.

Good to see you still on the forum though.

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I actually have been reading the 3% Man by Corey Wayne.


Lol! I have been giving her the space (two days so far). I probably needed it myself. And it is A LOT easier since I don't live with this girl. Couldn't go no contact with the last chick since well we lived together...so I had to endure a lot of drama.


After those four days you think it's right to revisit where we stand ? I might make it go a little longer. I am going out of town and don't really want to deal with drama from here lol..

Yeah man, I can't stray away from the forums too long. One of the places for me to vent!

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Be careful about this. Here it was re-enforced that if she distances herself from you then she gets a positive reward of your love, attention, and affection.

When she says space give her more than enough space. Tone in back to about once a week seeing her. She should be begging for more of your time. Then give her all of that positive love, attention, and affection.

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I was about to suggest Corey Wayne to you. Great book.

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I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

I think I need to be in more situations like these, to learn. To see if I can get a girl back.. Then again, I have only had 4 girlfriends and have lived the life of a bachelor most of my days... I usually next the girls and never come back to them. Possible oneitis? Maybe. I just enjoy this specific girl's company and the sex...


Hmm, she commented on one of my photos on Facebook yesterday and gave me a compliment on how good i looked (and she agreed with another girl who said I looked cute). And then she liked one of my photos of me and another chick I met up with this past week. Hmm...no text until today

so I gave her the time...she texted me back today.

The texts weren't geared toward relationship stuff or other things. I want her to bring that up, i just want to be playful and flirty. But I think I will know soon. My tolerance is waning, I don't want her to try to friend me up or wean off of me. I'll let her keep contacting me.

She just wanted to know when I will be back in town and I told her I just got back in town. I didn't ask for a meetup since i feel that would be way too quick to go back into things after a week of not seeing each other. We had normal conversation about things, she asked me how did my trip go etc. I might have done too much on the part that I suggested calling her but she went M.I.A after I said that lol. I guess that was too much. Oh well, i texted "ok, no worries".

At least I didn't text her I missed her lol.

I'll keep this posted.

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As the book says, the phone is for setting dates fuck texting her more than 2-3 times.

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I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

Anddd shes back. I extended the no contact to 2 weeks. She eventually was the first to propose a meetup which was last Thursday...ended up in sex. Today we talked some more and so far we seem to be easing into things once again. I think the fact that other girls were starting to like me had something to do with it. Funny the way the game is played. I think this is it for now.

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soft next? Huh? Just give her some space stop being in her face all the time - let her MISS you, have some mystery about you don't be so readily accessible that gets boring fast. I'm not convinced she's seeing things as you see them, and without talking her we won't really know unless she's been pretty explicit.