Hey all. I have a question about how often you use self deprecating humor during your initial interaction with a girl.

as for me, I'm 5'9 and just under 140 lbs, so I'm quite clearly thin and average height (or short depending on your view of what average height is). I know this sort of thing can be a real turn off to girls, and sometimes I try to attack it head on by addressing it playfully.

For example, if they ask me if I have any tattoos, I'll say "I know it may come as a shock because I look like such a hard ass, but I actually don't have any."

Or when talking about sports and I say "I was great at wrestling in high school because I was in the weight class to beat up middle schoolers!"

These usually evoke a good laugh from the girl, but I wonder if it somehow subconsciously draws their attention to my flaws and turns them off.

It's not as though I'm saying "yeah I may be skinny but pound for pound I'm tougher than anyone in this bar!" as a cry for approval.

But maybe it would be better to just ignore the elephant in the room and not even draw their attention to it? I'm not sure. Thoughts?

Self deprecation works in comedy. Not in set. You are DLVing yourself when you self-deprecate. There is an art to DLVing in a way to build attraction but this is a more advanced skill.

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Bullshit. Also, I'd suggest dropping tech terms like DLV / DHV.

@OP, it can work. Depends how congruent it is with your overall entity and the intention behind it. If you're self deprecating to gets contrary compliments, you'll run into problems.

Anyway, I personally do it sometimes. And as far as I'm concerned there is nothing sexier than a man/woman comfortable and confident in his own imperfections.

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I think it is turning them off. You are the king of your castle, act like it. I self-deprecate all the time. I'll admit something about myself and tell the girl "i bet you're glad you're with me now huh" or whatever, just making myself out to be a human. The girl likes these admissions more often than not.

You have to feel confident in yourself first, then the deprecation is showing that you aren't some perfect person after all, which the girl can relate to. In your instance, you are insecure about some issues (which you shouldn't be) and then you're trying to deflect that.

It's a fine line. The key is in feeling you are a highly valuable human being first.

If you are deprecating something that may be a more obvious "flaw" (in quotes, because what you are speaking of are not flaws) then IMO it may likely be in fact showing an insecurity to the girl as you are suspecting. On the other hand, if you were to state a story that happened to you like you fucked up so hard on a final because you went to Vegas and were on a bender even though you're usually responsible, this is called admitting you're human.

WHEREAS, most guys are only showing their good side and it is a huge interrupt when you are able to show the girl - I am human too - we all are - we all fuck up from time to time - we all have our flaws ........... when you can do this, you are severely separating yourself from most other guys and putting yourself in a good position.

IMO the key is not to make the flaw you introduce something that the girl will readily see or suspect may be a weakness for you in your mind.

I'm pretty arrogant and I find that there is a such thing as self appreciating humor just is there is a such thing as self a depreciating humor.

I take those moments and make jokes about how awesome I am. The seem to have the same effect as the opposite, except I benefit all around.

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Having a good sense of humor is by no means "advanced".

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Everyone has flaws.

The fact that you can be funny about yours is a good thing.

Don't over think it.

For 99% of guys out there...don't do it. Just fucking don't.

It's a horrible habit to get into, even if it lands that first girl in bed, it will not work for most guys who come here seeking a cure for their AA. Not advisable at all.