Is this how a man Is suppose to be?



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PostPosted: Sat Aug 22, 2015 3:44 am 
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N2, ambivalence and oxymorons are like these:

1. Do not use routines. Be natural. Use this: "Hi."

1 - 1 = 0

'Hi' is a verbal routine. It is a common human communication protocol answerable by 'Hi'or 'Hello'. This was memetically established with the invention of the telephone.

2. Be brave. Run away from a fight as fast as you can.

1 -1 = 0

The difference between Eddie and Manson is that Eddie is seldom ambivalent. Manson is always ambivalent in his discussions. Moreover, Eddie is almost always congruent with what he's saying. Manson says something in one sentence and in the next sentence, he takes it back.

I agreed with Eddie in this thread because his insight was more grounded in reality and definite. On the other hand, your alternative point of view is just NOT supported by facts and figures. It didn't help either that you tried to name drop a popular pick up artist author who is notoriously ambivalent.

To be clear, masculine emotional vulnerability has gradients. Women would rather prefer a 95% stoic man with 5% emotional vulnerability than a crying, whining, complaining man bitch who is 5% masculine and 95% emotionally vulnerable.
Again, you're using straw man logic. You're arguing an imagined statement about vulnerability that was never put-forth.

" Women would rather prefer a 95% stoic man with 5% emotional vulnerability than a crying, whining, complaining man bitch who is 5% masculine and 95% emotionally vulnerable" Nobody mentioned or implied anything like this whatsoever so this is a fiction you'd concocted and are now arguing against. Quite bizarre or you're having a comprehension problem.

lol@"supported by facts and figures"

Do you know what "verbose" means?


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 22, 2015 9:35 am 
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Again, you're using straw man logic. You're arguing an imagined statement about vulnerability that was never put-forth.
What is it that you do NOT understand about the OP's post? The OP said it himself. He's a talkative, whining, complaining man bitch which he himself knows because "...Most men do not do this..." according to him.

The thread is about bananas and you're infusing avocados into the discussion.
Quote:
Is this how a man Is suppose to be?
I was always a nice guy, Women would always tell me how sweet I was. Of course they would never date me but I was always the one that they could count on. Through the years I became obsessed with becoming better, always improving, always learning. I never thought anything was wrong with that. The woman that I have been on and off with for the past 6 years isn't what I consider strong in that sense. She is strong in other areas but wanting to improve and be better isn't that. I have the habit of becoming to emotionally invested, I talk and share too much of my emotions and my thoughts. Most men do not do this and it is what I hear most women complain about. “ My man doesn't talk to me” “ He doesn't tell me what he's feeling” “Why can't they just talk”. You know the usual bull Shi*! Through these conversations though I have found that women, most not all, don't really want that guy I described. The things that they complain about they don't really care to have. If that were the case they would be fucking the nice guy whose shoulder she has been crying on every time the so called asshole did something insensitive. The bottom line is that through our relationship I would always try to improve be better and try something new, but the problem is that I would push her to do the same. I would share my emotions, my feelings, things that I want improve on personally and things I want to improve in our relationship. She believes that I’m perfect and that she accepts me for all my faults, that her family has nothing bad to say about me, that really no one does. My answer for her “I try to at least deal with my problems, I try to improve and grow.” Then it hit me. The reason why she always felt bad about herself, had low self esteem, felt degraded wasn't because I neglected her, it was because I shared too much with her. I shared my hopes my wants, my dreams, and my desire to become better. Dealing with this constant attitude of improvement can make someone feel inadequate. Its the difference between being hungry and complacent. If I had walled off that part of me off, if I didn’t share the core of my being would things be different? I was raised to be this nice guy and we all know where that leads us. Digging deeper into that though, is being too talkative, being too emotionally available kill possible relationships? How does one wall that part pf them off, and set limiters without completely cutting them self off socially? Is there a balance between being ambitious and complacent? To continue to improve yourself, keeping that drive while at the same time keeping it isolated from her? Is this how a man is suppose to be​? Do women really want this? We all know that the answer to that last question is yes.
Let's simplify this, here:

OP: My girl is no longer attracted to me. I think I talk too much, whine too much that my life needs improvement because I feel I am not where I should be right now, and complain too much that our relationship needs further improvement.

Eddie: To solve your problem and to ensure that you won't have this problem again in the future, DO the opposite of what you're doing.

N2: No OP. You should keep on doing what you're doing right now. Talk some more. Whine some more. Complain some more. Relationships are about communication (verbal).

MC: OP, listen to Eddie. N2 is wrong.

N2: MC, you're using straw man logic.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 22, 2015 11:46 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
Again, you're using straw man logic. You're arguing an imagined statement about vulnerability that was never put-forth.
What is it that you do NOT understand about the OP's post? The OP said it himself. He's a talkative, whining, complaining man bitch which he himself knows because "...Most men do not do this..." according to him.

The thread is about bananas and you're infusing avocados into the discussion.
Quote:
Is this how a man Is suppose to be?
I was always a nice guy, Women would always tell me how sweet I was. Of course they would never date me but I was always the one that they could count on. Through the years I became obsessed with becoming better, always improving, always learning. I never thought anything was wrong with that. The woman that I have been on and off with for the past 6 years isn't what I consider strong in that sense. She is strong in other areas but wanting to improve and be better isn't that. I have the habit of becoming to emotionally invested, I talk and share too much of my emotions and my thoughts. Most men do not do this and it is what I hear most women complain about. “ My man doesn't talk to me” “ He doesn't tell me what he's feeling” “Why can't they just talk”. You know the usual bull Shi*! Through these conversations though I have found that women, most not all, don't really want that guy I described. The things that they complain about they don't really care to have. If that were the case they would be fucking the nice guy whose shoulder she has been crying on every time the so called asshole did something insensitive. The bottom line is that through our relationship I would always try to improve be better and try something new, but the problem is that I would push her to do the same. I would share my emotions, my feelings, things that I want improve on personally and things I want to improve in our relationship. She believes that I’m perfect and that she accepts me for all my faults, that her family has nothing bad to say about me, that really no one does. My answer for her “I try to at least deal with my problems, I try to improve and grow.” Then it hit me. The reason why she always felt bad about herself, had low self esteem, felt degraded wasn't because I neglected her, it was because I shared too much with her. I shared my hopes my wants, my dreams, and my desire to become better. Dealing with this constant attitude of improvement can make someone feel inadequate. Its the difference between being hungry and complacent. If I had walled off that part of me off, if I didn’t share the core of my being would things be different? I was raised to be this nice guy and we all know where that leads us. Digging deeper into that though, is being too talkative, being too emotionally available kill possible relationships? How does one wall that part pf them off, and set limiters without completely cutting them self off socially? Is there a balance between being ambitious and complacent? To continue to improve yourself, keeping that drive while at the same time keeping it isolated from her? Is this how a man is suppose to be​? Do women really want this? We all know that the answer to that last question is yes.
Let's simplify this, here:

OP: My girl is no longer attracted to me. I think I talk too much, whine too much that my life needs improvement because I feel I am not where I should be right now, and complain too much that our relationship needs further improvement.

Eddie: To solve your problem and to ensure that you won't have this problem again in the future, DO the opposite of what you're doing.

N2: No OP. You should keep on doing what you're doing right now. Talk some more. Whine some more. Complain some more. Relationships are about communication (verbal).

MC: OP, listen to Eddie. N2 is wrong.

N2: MC, you're using straw man logic.

You're so confused. I'm not really interested in trying to break it down to you.

Peace.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 23, 2015 4:33 pm 
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You're the one who is confused N2.

Do you realize that the OP was not fond of using paragraphs and rattled off his complaints in a wall of text saying in effect, "I am better than all of these men who seldom talk and share their feelings. In fact, I am the better man that my girl is a worthless human being... blah... blah... blah... Why are most girls not attracted to me? For some who get attracted, why do they lose attraction to me? Why are they attracted to stoic guys instead?"

The way OP writes is most likely the way he talks also. Visualize that and you have a guy who is very unattractive to women. Encouraging the OP to be more of this way instead of letting him realize that his way is very unattractive does not contribute to happy and healthy relationships at all and is hugely counter-productive.

You just don't get it. A blind man cannot lead the blind.

_________________
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Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 23, 2015 8:14 pm 
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Quote:
You're the one who is confused N2.

Do you realize that the OP was not fond of using paragraphs and rattled off his complaints in a wall of text saying in effect, "I am better than all of these men who seldom talk and share their feelings. In fact, I am the better man that my girl is a worthless human being... blah... blah... blah... Why are most girls not attracted to me? For some who get attracted, why do they lose attraction to me? Why are they attracted to stoic guys instead?"

The way OP writes is most likely the way he talks also. Visualize that and you have a guy who is very unattractive to women. Encouraging the OP to be more of this way instead of letting him realize that his way is very unattractive does not contribute to happy and healthy relationships at all and is hugely counter-productive.

You just don't get it. A blind man cannot lead the blind.
Just can't let it go eh.

Seeing as I'm not even reading your posts, you're arguing with yourself at this point.

Please stop incessantly private messaging me for help as well. If I'm not responding its a likely indicator (or IOD if you will) that I'm not interested.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 23, 2015 10:18 pm 
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Quote:
Just can't let it go eh.

Seeing as I'm not even reading your posts, you're arguing with yourself at this point.

Please stop incessantly private messaging me for help as well. If I'm not responding its a likely indicator (or IOD if you will) that I'm not interested.
The only guy whom I private messaged for help on here was poetic and it's for help regarding someone's invitation to write for his blog as a guest writer. I asked Vic whether he knew the blogger personally. I didn't want to write for any scam artist.

As for public threads where I asked for help, I think I created around 3 or 5. The first one I think was for a 17-year old girl who told me straight to my face "I love you" some two months, maybe one month, before her 18th birthday. Another thread where Eddie himself gave me solid advice was for a girl who kept on asking me to buy her a drink. And the last one was for a girl classmate who has a boyfriend. It was Versalis who gave me solid advice on that one. Those 3 are what I can remember. I'm just not sure if I asked for help about another girl whose boyfriend kept on calling her on the phone before, during and after banging her the first time in my room.


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_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html
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