Stuck in a pattern of abusive with the strip club.



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PostPosted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 4:52 pm 
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I've been going to the strip club on and off for the last two and a half years. I've studied PUA, tried to employ techniques but I've never been able to completely move past approach anxiety.. And when I do the results would be lack luster to say the least... So I often fall back on the strip club and it seems for every stretch I'm going I fall in love with one of the dancers and get a strong desire to enter a relationship with her. This has happened with two dancers previously. I just left a relationship-type-thing with this girl and after not having immediate success on cold approached and online sites I resorted going back to the club where I've picked up where I left off. I've really taken a liking to a dancer. One I've interacted with briefly in the past and we always got along GREAT. Saw her Monday and we talked, said she might be getting a bf, I got a couple dances and left. Went back last night, talked to her a bit. She said "wow, I'm surprised to see you in here. Usually after I see you, ya disappear for a month or two". After we talked for a while before I left she asks if it'll be a month or two before she sees me again and I said yeah. So she gives me a big hug and I go on my way.

I'd like to be with her more than any other woman, so if anybody has some tips that'd be great! I realize this situation is quite abysmal and I am by no means putting all my eggs in one basket. Farther diminishing my chances is the fact that this girl's sister is also a stripper at the same establishment and was one of the two that I had "fallen" for in the past, and she still works there! So again, I'm doubting I can pull this off but I take it there are some people on this site who are far more accustomed to the ways of women than myself so if there are any tips you guys can think of I'd be more than happy to take them into consideration. My plan is to come back in about a month, chit-chat, share a few laughs and ask her about her bf situation and go from there. Thanks in advance all!


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 5:04 pm 
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I just want to confirm that he's not trolling. I've told him for months now to move on, meet new women, give up on a strippers. Only last night I was saying there's no chance with this girl - one of the other 3 strippers that he's fallen in "love" with just happens to be her sister. I told him to post this thread, because there may be some tips that I simply can't give.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 7:21 pm 
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It's their job to make a guy feel good. Some girls will use their sexuality as a means to gaining access to your wallet. Whether it be serving drinks scantily clad at parties, stripping, or escorting and anything that falls in between.

The successful ones are GREAT at what they do which is advertising but typically have little going on beneath that. So on the surface the product looks amazing but once you buy-in its not long after you realize it's damaged and was just giving a nicely shiny packaging to fool you. It's like Saks 5th Avenue but the merchandise inside is K-mart, or like an O'Henry bar (one of my faves) with turds and corn in it inplace of chocolate and nuts. They know how to appeal to a lot of men and make them feel good and desired, but beneath the facade they are typically damaged people and are a poor choice for getting involved with.

My take on you going to these clubs is that the women are quite attractive and you feel heard by them unlike women you meet outside the strip club who you have to put effort in and feel rejected by. It's amazing how simple rapport building skills, empathic listening for example can hit on a person's attraction buttons. You see it in counseling relationships all the time, the client falling for the therapist because, often for the first time, the client TRULY feels heard by someone. Incidentally you can learn to use this to your advantage when building attraction with women.

If you always remain in the shallow end of the pool you won't ever really learn how to swim.

In other words if you are going to a place where the women give you those feel-good emotions to get into your pocketbook, you might as well looking for a woman on a sugardaddy dating or escort website, at least that way u'll get the sex too. I'm going to state the obvious and suggest you abstain from strip clubs altogether and stick to cold approaches even if it petrifies you because that is the only way you'll develop your social skillset and become successful with women of substance you'd want to be with, rather than shallow vapid types who generally don't care about you beyond what you can give them.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 8:24 pm 
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Strippers want regulars to back to them and give them money. They will even meet you outside work if that means you're going to shower her with gifts. She still will not ever get into a relationship with you. NEVER.

Use some of that money, go pay for some training off a professional in your local area.

You do understand what this forum is? You don't deserve a penis.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 10:53 pm 
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Everything here is what I've said so far.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 16, 2015 8:42 pm 
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Quote:
I've been going to the strip club on and off for the last two and a half years. I've studied PUA, tried to employ techniques but I've never been able to completely move past approach anxiety.. And when I do the results would be lack luster to say the least... So I often fall back on the strip club and it seems for every stretch I'm going I fall in love with one of the dancers and get a strong desire to enter a relationship with her. This has happened with two dancers previously. I just left a relationship-type-thing with this girl and after not having immediate success on cold approached and online sites I resorted going back to the club where I've picked up where I left off. I've really taken a liking to a dancer. One I've interacted with briefly in the past and we always got along GREAT. Saw her Monday and we talked, said she might be getting a bf, I got a couple dances and left. Went back last night, talked to her a bit. She said "wow, I'm surprised to see you in here. Usually after I see you, ya disappear for a month or two". After we talked for a while before I left she asks if it'll be a month or two before she sees me again and I said yeah. So she gives me a big hug and I go on my way.

I'd like to be with her more than any other woman, so if anybody has some tips that'd be great! I realize this situation is quite abysmal and I am by no means putting all my eggs in one basket. Farther diminishing my chances is the fact that this girl's sister is also a stripper at the same establishment and was one of the two that I had "fallen" for in the past, and she still works there! So again, I'm doubting I can pull this off but I take it there are some people on this site who are far more accustomed to the ways of women than myself so if there are any tips you guys can think of I'd be more than happy to take them into consideration. My plan is to come back in about a month, chit-chat, share a few laughs and ask her about her bf situation and go from there. Thanks in advance all!
Think very carefully about what I'm about to say here:

YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME

Seriously. It's obvious that you are nothing more than a client to her. No amount of "PUA" is going to change that.

PUA is not a magic pill that will turn a woman's ambivalence into love.

Your best bet is to STOP visiting the strip club, go out into other places and meet women who don't have a job that is predicating on making as many men sexually attracted to them as possible


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 16, 2015 11:34 pm 
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I understand going to the strip club is no place to consider when looking for places to game. I'm going to make an exception one more time and make one more visit in a month or two for her. As I said earlier, I'm just going to make chit-chat with her, getting to laugh and establish a good conversation with her. Probably tip her VERY well and tell her I'm not interested in getting dances. Before I left I'd ask if she was seeing someone and if she says no, tell her I find her very attractive, give her my number and tell her I'm pretty much done coming here... Oh, and before I depart I may happen to ask her if she thinks I deserve a dick. And that'll probably be the last time I ever go to a strip club


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 16, 2015 11:55 pm 
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If anybody thinks the generous tip is a good idea, please say so.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2015 11:47 pm 
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Quote:
I understand going to the strip club is no place to consider when looking for places to game. I'm going to make an exception one more time and make one more visit in a month or two for her. As I said earlier, I'm just going to make chit-chat with her, getting to laugh and establish a good conversation with her. Probably tip her VERY well and tell her I'm not interested in getting dances. Before I left I'd ask if she was seeing someone and if she says no, tell her I find her very attractive, give her my number and tell her I'm pretty much done coming here... Oh, and before I depart I may happen to ask her if she thinks I deserve a dick. And that'll probably be the last time I ever go to a strip club
Quote:
I'm going to make an exception one more time and make one more visit in a month or two for her
Quote:
Probably tip her VERY well
Jesus H. Christ. Now you're just trolling.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2015 12:28 am 
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Even though I know he's not trolling... this isn't the first accusation he's ever had of it. It should be a sign, that the idea is so f*cking ridiculous that most people don't even believe it.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2015 11:53 pm 
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Read: viewtopic.php?f=25&t=190620

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2015 3:13 am 
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I really liked the article on "abundance mentality" and have employed it in my life. I've made two cold approaches that went well, didn't get number closes but at this point all that matters is that I'm MAKING cold approaches. That being said my relapse with the strip club has really intensified. I went back tonight and spent another 150$... I had a GREAT time though. There was NO customers there at all other than me so this dancer and I ordered a pizza and I picked it up.. She even split the bill with me! Well after the pizza and some convo I bought three dances from her and ended up tipping her 50$ afterwards which might not have been a very good thing.. I feel like she might have lost respect for me for it because she didn't stick around and talk to me afterwards like she sometimes does... During the dances though she told me she'd be done with school in 8-9 months and was like "so when that's up I'll be out of here, what do you plan on doing" and I kind of got the sense she was curious because she wanted to see me after she quit.

I know people think I'm trolling and this probably does sound crazy to most people but this woman means alot to me. We've known each other for almost three years. She makes me want to be a better person, earn more money, get a better job, even go to school if I can find something I feel is lucrative enough.. She inspires me, and the times I spend with her are among the best times of my life.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2015 12:09 pm 
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Signs of a guy with oneitis:

1. She's not like other girls (IE she's not like other strippers)
2. ignores all advice like "she's not into you" and only accepts positive feedback
3. ignores red flags such as "she spread rumours about another stripper and got her fired for dancing with me" which instead, he calls "the most romantic thing that anybody has ever done for me"
4. denies that it's oneitis, because it happened more than once.

Tired of bashing my keyboard for you to just not listen.

Told you so many times that money means nothing. The reason you're so ready to spend money, is because it's all you've got to offer and you're too lazy to change that. You'd literally rather lose money than become a better person. How selfish.

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2015 12:16 pm 
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His mindset makes me wanna cry.

MEN, What the fuck happened

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2015 12:26 pm 
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As much as he's a decent guy, he's a perfect example of why nice guys aren't actually "nice" at all.

He has a girlfriend that he's using as a safety net because he feels he won't get anybody else - how nice of him

He throws money at these girls because he's too lazy to offer anything else - how nice of him

I sound like a dick but after 12 months I've got nowhere because he doesn't fucking listen. I've even tried throwing hundreds of material from guru's at him, but he tells me how each individual one is wrong. At first he liked Gambler, but Gambler ended up saying something to offend him I think. Then it was the same with RSD Todd.. of all people.

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I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.


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