Let me introduce myself first. I have been doing pickup for about 5 months now.

I have seen immense changes in my confidence and the way I carry myself. I'm able to approach 15-20 girls when I got out. Of course, like anyone who's been in pickup, I do get rejected a lot , but I've been able to have some amazing conversations with a good amount of girls :I was able to have interesting interactions, make them laugh, never run out of things to say, and get their numbers. It seems like I have gone past the approach anxiety.

The one problem that really pisses me off: Flaking.

This may sound pitiful, but out of the 13 numbers I have gotten this past weeks, I was only able to go on a date with one. Yes, only one.

I know I'm still a beginner at this, that even though my confidence, conversations with girls and self image have greatly improved I can still do better.

I know that flaking is normal, but is it really normal that out of 13 numbers I only got one date?

The thing is I really don't know what I'm doing wrong. One time I was talking to this chick for 20 minutes: we were having fun, she seemed really interested in knowing me, she constantly engaged herself in the conversation, at one point of the interaction she told me she thought I was good-looking. When I asked for her number she seemed pretty interested in seeing me again. But when I texted her the next day, it's like as if she became cold and uninterested, as if all the attraction she initially felt for me was gone. What the hell did I do wrong?

This wasn't even the first time a scenario like this happened to me. Many times have I approached girls that were interested in me just to be flaked on when I text them.

Right now I'm confused and frustrated. If out of the 13 girls i had gone on a date with at least 4 or 3 I wouldn't be complaining.

So I wanted to know what do you guys think I should do in my conversations with girls to reduce the chance of her flaking on me? Has anyone gone through the same thing as me? Also I would like to know many girls out on twenty flake on you guys on average, that would really help me

Welcome to the forum...

I deleted your duplicate topic. Please do not double post.

Call.

Always call.

And remember that women are creatures of the moment, how they felt yesterday doesn't necessarily mean they'll feel it today. Especially when all they did was spend sometime talking to you on the street. You can expect that. Texting is a sure way to lead to flakes. They're no emotional connection being formed.

Pick up the phone and call the girls. Go for the instant dates, aim to secure the make outs and/or full closes right then when you meet them. You have to set higher goals. You're worrying about how to get women to go out with you so you can spend money on them instead of worrying about how to bed them ( if thats why you're in this) on the very day you meet them. When you raise the standard worrying about flaking becomes irrelevant.

But this is how this goes.. Get 20 numbers.. 10 will pick up when you CALL.. 5 of the conversations will go somewhere and you'll end sleeping with 3 of them. That average i say. But once again, you HAVE to create your own standard. Maybe you don't want that to be your average. You wanna shoot for more.

Its not surprise many guys are settling for online dating, its a lot more cowardly, but it's easier . approaching women in person, ensures that you'll bed more women once you perfect your skill. And you also don't develop the level of fortitude and emotional strength with online dating versus physically approaching. 5 months ain't much.. Whats your backround? How were you with women before the 5 months?

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Maybe try making plans with them in the first interaction. Find out what they enjoy doing and suggest a related activity. She's probably given her number to at least 5 other people that night and their all texting her the next day asking to go for a drink.

So just off the top of my head find out a film she wants to see and say "okay me and you are gonna go see it Tuesday night". It doesn't even have to be a formal date, suggest she brings some friends along. That will probably reduce the pressure on her of feeling like she's agreeing to go on a date with you. If ud prefer not to suggest that, fine, but you'll still be in a better position for her to see you, rather than just hoping she picks you from the 10 other guys texting her in the morning.

Probably a dumb question but does this work if the age group is in their early to mid twenties? I just feel like everyone is so comfortable texting now a days

Yeah I think you might be right, calling is better than texting. I hate texting people in general anyway. Calling her is more manly than sending her texts. I'll start doing that.

Before the 5 months i had no confidence with women whatsoever. Even though girls have told me that I was cute before that still didn't hide the fact that I couldn't talk to girls. There were many experiences in my life that took away my confidence (I don't want to go in detail on that), but theses five months have really changed me in so many ways: I may not be the person that I want to be yet but I am DEFINITELY not the same person I was 5 months ago that's for sure.

I get what you're saying but if her friends come along I would personally find that so annoying unless they're hot too

Ignore that advice.

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1.That's an awesome thing dude. Don't over look that. It's good that you've gotten this far and it's good that you're still looking to improve.

2. It's common, especially when first starting out. Don't over think it. Over time it gets better and you start to see some patterns. ou've already gotten some good advice and I'll give you some very common things I do to try to raise my chances of getting a meetup later.

A. When you get her number, get it for a purpose if at all possible. "Oh damn, I love that band, give me your number and we can hang out and chill to some music some time" "You're in to blues? really? We should hang out at such n such place one day, they have a few good bands that come in that are amazing, you'd love it. What's your number and we'll keep in touch". "Give me your number, we need to talk more over some coffee". Just anything that lets her picture why y'all are going to meet up and it makes her feel like she's kinda already promised to meet up with you so she's less likely to back out.

B. Be memorable and stand out. You need to spike her interest. It's not enough to just have her attention, you need to stand out from the other guys that have asked for her number. Whether it's that you are way more interesting, or you talk to her like no other guy does, or you stare directly in her eyes in a way that turns her on but maybe makes her a tad bit nervous. Just stand out.

C. Make it to where she doesn't forget all that work you put in. If you spend thirty minutes standing out and making her laugh and intriguing her, she could have gone straight from that to something else and she might get out of that mindset of how awesome that interaction was. This is why if I text a girl, I'll try to start off with an inside joke from the first meeting or comment about the first meeting. Something that brings her back to that moment. My number one thing that I always try to do...

C1. Take a picture. Get her number. Text her so she has yours. After that, get her to take a picture of yall together, in a very playful manner, to be your contact picture in her phone. I use a line like "here, get a picture so you remember me" with a big smile. The girl usually makes a comment like "you think I'd forget you?" and I'll reply, "good point, take the picture so you have something to look at when I'm not around" and laugh and hug her and be very playful about it. After that I'll get her to kiss my cheek or at the very least hug me close and we'll do a selfie together. And I'll set that as my contact photo in her phone. That means every time I text or call that chick she automatically remembers that event, how charming I was, the emotions she was feeling etc. This was by far my number one thing that has helped me decrease my flakes. The number of girls that I have a great interaction with, and run this routine with, that flake on me completely has to be under 10%. Maybe another 25-30% respond back and we never work out a meetup for whatever reason. About 50-60% of the time I get a meetup with the girl. Of course if I add in numbers I get where the interaction wasn't great, my numbers drop quite a bit.

D. I prefer to call her. I tell her up front I don't text much, so expect a call. I just don't think that text game can compete with calling. It's so much easier to say "I'm busy saturday night" through a text message than over the phone. If you've ever had a girl call you and ask you if you want to hang out you'd know that it's hard to make up excuses on the spot and sound honest. Over text that shit is so easy it's ridiculous.

3. Sometimes you have to remember that when you call a girl, she isn't always in the same state as when you first talked to her. She could have been aroused when you first stopped her and when you called her she had a lousy day. Sometimes you have to back track and build up the attraction all over again. And if she just doesn't have any interest in her tone of voice, call her out for it and snap her out of it.

"You sound like you had a lousy day or something, you were so upbeat last time I saw you"
"It was kind of a long day"
"Well you need to relax it sounds like, unwind a bit, lets grab a drink tomorrow night before you go crazy. But you have to smile cause I'm not into depressed people"

This is all playful, but it gives her a chance to think "well last time I saw him I was pretty upbeat and happy, and I do need to unwind, maybe I should go out with him".

I've found it to be pretty successful for girls that are just zoned out and uninterested when you hit them up after getting their number.

1 date out of 13 numbers is actually not bad.

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A lot of girls give out their numbers even if they're not interested in dating you. Much easier to not respond to you'd text than say no to your face and deal with that awkwardness.

Don't take it personally. A woman's mood changes like the weather. It's not uncommon for women to change their moods and interests like an on and off switch. She might in the moment, shows signs that she really liked you. And that's perfectly fine, in the moment. But after that, you have to remember that the alcohol wears off and the person she was at the bar, isn't the same person who wakes up and does her daily routine of going grocery shopping and doing laundry.

Also, we don't know what your text game looks like. I know I have made some blunders during text game and realized later that I was taking steps back rather than steps forward.

I use text game as a way to build/maintain attraction. I have also noticed that if I don't get enough comfort from the girl, I can't seem to get her to be willing to meet up.

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Thanks for all the tips dude ! That routine you talked about in C1 seems pretty legit. I'm going to have to try it out

i discovered pua for a month sarging daygame twice or trice a week
night at once a week
only 1 successful date
i feel so slow
13 out of 1 is not bad

Theirs a Carlos Xuma article that addresses flaking that I think you will like - As it was sent in a email to a list I am guessing it is ok to re-post. If site admins think not then please delete it - here it is.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One of the most annoying things a woman
can do is to flake out on your plans.

Have you ever had this happen to you?

I'll bet you have. And it sucks.

I had an "a-ha!" moment the other day
that I thought I would share with you...

I recently have been enjoying the
company of a few women, and I was lining
up one to see again on Friday night.
She's young, and just out of a
relationship.
TRANSLATION: She's a walking bag of
cRaZy just waiting to happen.
Occasionally I will text her and do the
"flirt" thing with her. All last week
she was all a-glow with attraction. I
figured it was time to get together with
her again and finish what we'd started
the week before.

So I sent her a message on Thursday
night that said simply "Let's get
together tomorrow night after you're
done at work..." I needed to find out if
she was available or not so I could plan
things out for the weekend.

Her response came back, "Sounds like
fun! See you ..."

Well, that was less than her flirtatious
self, which led me to think "She's going
to flake." I can sense an impending flake
with about a 95% accuracy these days.

Sure enough, she totally flaked out on
me.
Now, I've been in this game for a LONG
time, and it didn't phase me, and I knew
that any reaction to what she did was a
BAD reaction.
But for the first time, I had an
epiphany as to WHY it is that women
can't see you react on this kind of
behavior.

It's like this:

We all know that to 'call her on her
shit' is a bad, bad, bad way to handle
flaking. You send the message that
you're an inflexible dork who will NOT
be fun. Sometimes, when a guy is just
getting his self-dignity and
self-respect up to Alpha Man level, he
thinks that he needs to 'set her
straight' or 'let her know where he
stands.'

Usually, this is not good. Especially
for most younger women who are (as I
like to say) flakier than day-old
croissants.

But consider what she really interprets
from your reaction:

If you react to her flaking with
anything more than an "I didn't even
notice you flaked!" reaction, then you
are telling her:
A) You lack emotional maturity, since
you can't handle disappointment or
changes in your rigid, structured little
life. TRANSLATION: You're about as fun
as a stick in the eye.
B) You must not go through this
experience of being flaked on very much
or you would have figured it out by now.
"So, this is the first time you've been
flaked on? Get over it." TRANSLATION:
She thinks you're a loser.

C) If you HAVE been flaked on before and
STILL react this way, it tells her that
insecure anger is where you're coming
from. And she knows what THAT means
about you.
QUESTION: What kind of guy doesn't even
notice a woman flaking on him?
ANSWER: A man who has other options in
his life.
My friend, until she's begging you to be
her one-and-only, there is NO woman that
is THAT big of a concern to you. If she
is, you've lost focus and perspective.

A man will only make a woman this
important to him when his own life lacks
direction, power, and fun. She's not
here to give you a purpose. She's here
to support and go where you're already
headed.

Some guys incorrectly assume that they
need to make women think that you are
the kind of guy that NO woman would DARE
flake on because he's so "high value."

Or these guys think "If I let her get
away with this, I'll be communicating my
lack of value or low social status..."
Sorry, dude. Dead WRONG.
Women know that EVERY girl on the planet
has flaked on a guy at some point, and
EVERY guy in the world has been flaked
on.

It's like when you woke up this morning
with wood. It's a fact of life.
If a woman flakes constantly AFTER
you've had a chance to demonstrate your
Alpha Bad-ass self, then you've got only
one problem to consider: Stable, sane
women do NOT flake on men they genuinely
WANT to be with.
So if she continues to flake ... that's
not the problem.

What you need to know is why didn't she
want to be with you again?

Here's my approach:
STEP 1) Recognize that it's in a woman's
nature to flake. It's not personal, so
again, get over it.
Rain gets you wet. Dogs bark. Women
flake.

Getting angry about this is neurotic and
pointless. Accept it and move on.

STEP 2) Always stack your possibilities.
If one falls through, you can't be
wasting time getting indignant and angry
over something that really doesn't
impact you.

It's a typical newbie mistake to load up
far too much meaning on any particular
flaking incident, and that's why they
tend to keep asking this question about
"What do I do when she flakes?"
YOU DON'T CARE, that's what you do.
3) Never let a woman think you will be
anything less than FUN. Her having fun
is more important than having to think
you are "high value."

In fact, the amount of fun you make her
feel is - to a large degree - what she
equates as your 'social value.'

Read that again.

If you give her fun, she thinks of you
as high value.
And never forget this fact. EVER.
Fun for women is one of the most
overlooked aspects of building at-
traction with women, and one of the most
under-developed abilities in most men.

From now on, repeat after me: "She
flaked? Wow, I didn't even notice..."