My body is feeling more like the olympic champion it could, should, and would be. By that, I mean that the aching soreness in my neck, knee, and shoulder are easing up. It's the consequence of pushing your body hard. I'm going to get out and do some very mild running today, see if that helps the soreness in the knee. Once it gets back to 100%, I'll do another big mountain run.

AE girl meets up with me around 4:30 yesterday, and I do some research literature reading while she watches Grey's Anatomy. I encourage her to do the math I know she should be doing, telling her that I believe in her and that she's smart and can do it, but she is still discouraged and frustrated by the math.

This is one area that I want to work on in terms of influence / persuasion: Inspiring / motivating others to action. Challenging them. Helping them see themselves as more than they are. Jason Capital is great at this, and I'm going to start studying his emails to see exactly how he does this.

Some of it (a lot of it) is blunt and un-apologetic. The first step is to hold myself to high standards. Lead by example.

It's a fantastic marketing skill as well. So far, here's what I've noticed:

1. See others as better than they are. No one is reaching their true potential
2. Keep pushing myself.
3. Challenge others to reach higher and push harder.
4. Future pace the rewards and successes for people if they keep pushing. This builds motivation?

I put one of Jason Capital's book recommendations, The Richest Man in Babylon, on audio tape on my iPhone, so I can dump knowledge into my brain while I do mindless, robotic lab work. The next in line is going to be Psycho-cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz followed by Cialdini's Influence. FUCK YEAH! Much more productive than listening to Miley Cyrus. (JK I don't listen to Miley. Ok maybe only a couple songs)

Oh yeah, Dan Kennedy books are going to be on that list as well.

After the little study session, AE girl and I meet up with EF girl at Walrus ice cream. We chat, gossip about EF girl's love life, and all laugh up a storm. Afterwards, we head to the lagoon concert. We chat, have fun, AE girl and I flirt, and at one point I come up behind her and give her a back hug (love these). AZ girl meets up with us. After the concert, EF girl peaces out, AZ girl, AE girl, and I hit up Cheba Hut, eat food and chat about movies, and then play some music at an outdoor piano. AE girl starts bragging about me to AZ girl (he's playing all this from memory from songs he's sounded out from listening to once). Adorable. AE girl plays a bit too, and she's not half bad! Ning be mildly impressed!

We sit on a bench and gossip about AZ girl's love life. She's been hanging out with a dude, having deep conversation late into the night, hanging out one on one, etc. etc., but he's got a girlfriend an hour away. I tell her I'm 100% sure he's at least interested. AE girl and I then tell her various aspects of our courtship dance. It's a hilariously good time.

After a bit, we decide to call it quits. I drive AE girl back to her place, she looks exhausted in the car. In front of her place, I lean in, we kiss a bit, but I can tell she's tired as fuck, as am I. I head back home and pass the fuck out.

She invited me to go paint-balling with her lab on Friday as well as swing dancing Saturday night. HELL YEAH. She gets to enjoy my brilliant wit, banter, and emotionally charged conversation making skills yet again.

Speaking of which, have you heard of the word association drill I developed that GUARANTEES you won't ever "run out of things to say" again? It's a simple routine you can do in the shower, in the car, wherever, whenever, for only a couple minutes every day that will eliminate awkward silences, improve your verbal skills, and have girls all over impressed with your ability to talk and talk and talk.

If you've noticed one thing about great men, is that they can TALK. If you've noticed one thing about great speakers, is that women LOVE them. You know what, fuck that. MEN love great speakers too.

This is THE drill that I've used day in and day out to increase my verbal skills to the point where now all I do is shoot the shit for a minute or two and every female I talk to is charmed, smiling, and giggling. You can find it here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keV923iAVlY

Be warned, though. This drill isn't for everyone. If you're not the kind of guy who bets on himself, TAKES ACTION, and doesn't shy away from putting in effort, there's absolutely no reason to watch that video. In fact, don't. Don't even read this journal. What's the point?

If you're the BADASS action-taker that I know you are, however, go ahead, click on the link, and IMMEDIATELY IMPLEMENT the drill I outline.

GOD I love giving value.

Ning out

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My Pick-Up Journal

Thanks for the morning routine vid. A lot of very similar things to what I do, but of course, some key differences. The Amy Cuddy stuff is interesting. I use it to perk up periodically throughout the day, and to stand powerfully between sets at the gym.

A few resources you can add to your virtual influences:

--Ramit Sethi
--Mark Manson
--The Mating Grounds Podcast (particularly the Helping Joe series)
--Tai Lopez
--James Altucher
--Gretchen Rubin

Intentionally, none of these are "seduction" or male-centric sources (with the exception of The Mating Grounds, but that is done in such an emotional and mental health driven way that it's more just about living well). But they are all resources that are valuable for improving yourself and living a better life. Mark Manson in particular has a level of insight into the human condition that I personally relate very closely to. He's kind of a modern fulfillment philosopher.

Your business pivot is probably wise. Lifetime customer value is the name of the game. Lots of directions you can go with the social skills.

Why are Jason Capital's emails so motivating?

Few reasons.

He's a motivating dude in general: good energy and a clear passion for what he does. There is a lot of untapped potential in most people and he's good at highlighting that and he seems to genuinely enjoy bringing it out of them too. Great copy is often written by people who believe in what they are saying the most enthusiastically.

As you've mentioned, he leads by example and he's also very unapologetic about displaying his lifestyle. This shows what's possible. It's a form of future pacing.

But there's a bit more to it than that...

When you read Cialdini, you'll intuitively grasp most of the factors.

The one you probably won't understand right away is commitment (and consistency to that commitment). Most people don't understand it. But it's the most powerful of the levers you can pull and JC uses it very well in his marketing.

Essentially, commitment says, you just did this, that means your committed. If you're committed, you'll do this too.

In his marketing, this is "You're here. Your an ambitious, VIP badass. That means you invest in yourself. Do these four things to invest in yourself every day... and then do this last one [INSERT PRODUCT PITCH]."

He also combines with this with social proof: Team Capital is committed. Thousands of guys are doing this. The top guys in Team Capital did this. You are reading this because you want to be a top guy, right? So you should do this too. Otherwise, you're one of "them." You know, the low-value losers. That's not you. You don't want to be like that do you? Clearly not, because you're here. So push buy.

It's actually really easy to do. But it's a meta-level thing that's a bit hard to understand. Once you do though, it's one of the cornerstones of good direct-response marketing.

The Dan Kennedy stuff is good too. Ultimate Sales Letter is one of the best quick-and-dirty approaches to understanding good copy I've encountered.

Yes, the commitment stuff makes sense, and I can feel that it works on me. (Hey! I AM a badass! I SHOULD invest in myself!)

But the way you explained it does make it make more sense to me. Always appreciate your injection of value, I will check out those influences you listed for sure.

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My Pick-Up Journal

Hey Bro,

Holding a party today, social circle building and all that ish. Just looking for some good recommendations key points to keep in consideration for a good party. So far I've got some cheap food (hot dogs, chips and dip, trail mix, drinks, etc) a 5+ hour playlist, chairs, and I'm looking to get a few tiki torches.

Anything else to keep in mind?

Awesome! Good shit! Other than the logistical factors of just being a good host (providing food, silverware, etc. etc.), here are some other things to keep in mind:

Not everyone at a party is good at socializing. A lot of times, if you're bringing people from different parts of your life together, they're awkward as fuck. That's why it's great practice during a party that you organize to INTRODUCE people to each other.

At my last party, my friend DY bro was there and he and I both like to run. My other friend from Spanish club, FW bro, was also there, who also liked to run. I introduced those two, and gave them both rousing introductions. To FW bro, i told him DY bro was hella fast and makes a MEAN quinoa salad (nutrition grad student). To DY bro, I mentioned that FW bro has run several ultramarathons and just recently bicycled 4000 miles across the country in 22 days. BOOM now suddenly those two are in an animated conversation.

As a party host, you can GIVE VALUE to everyone by simply having that party, but if you want to OVERDELIVER VALUE like a badass, introduce people with similar interests to each other. Or, introduce someone who might be valuable for another person to meet to that person. BE the social connector.

It's a high status trait, you're giving value, and it'll make the party much more socially lubricated.

Usually at these things I look for the most socially unlubricated spot (people standing awkwardly not talking) and I go inject my good, fun mood into that spot. I then introduce people so that they can maintain that mood on their own, and then go on to other spots. Think of yourself as the emotional moderator for the group.

At least, that's what I used to do... at the most recent parties I've basically just been interacting with AE girl. Sigh. I'm going to fix that in the future. Too many awkward people standing around having no idea how to talk to each other result...

Anyhow, have fun, give value, and connect with your peeps!

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My Pick-Up Journal

Things have been WEIRD. Read on to see what I mean.

First, though, the non-weird stuff:

1. My body is more or less recovered, time to run again. Neck, shoulder, and knee all feeling better.
2. I'm halfway through The Richest Man in Babylon, great book!
3. Went paint-balling with AE girl and her lab yesterday, was poodles of fun.
4. Writing my Ebook furiously, at a good pace.

Basically, taking action and pushing my edges (career, health, social) like how we every single day.

Friday night, I'm working on that Ebook. I'd done my social thing for the day, I decided I can take a Friday night off and do some work cuz I'm an animal like that.

I'm working, working, working, and AE girl starts snap-chatting me. Apparently her friend cancelled on her and she's just chilling at home.

I send her a two word snap-chat back: "Come over."

No game, no fluff, just straight entitlement. I'd also randomly dropped into conversation (very very smoothly I might add) that both roommates were gone for the weekend. Then changed the subject. Obviously she picks up on this and automatically thinks of the tantalizing possibilities. You see, the main reason holding AE girl back from unleashing her inner sexual beast is the fear of social rejection / labeling (like every other girl).

She gets here and we play music for 2 hours. It's awesome, fun, and she's really enjoying herself. Then we put on a random movie and lay down on the couch together. That turns into making out (obviously). Making out leads to me taking my shirt off. Which leads to some dry humping. Which leads to me taking her shirt and bra off (this is a first for her). My mind's blown. This girl is gorgeous.

I take her hand and guide it to my boner. She at first hesitates, telling me, "I've never done that before". I say, "ok". Then she reaches for it anyway. Plays with it. I reward her with some sexy man groans. Then I smirk and tell her, "Well now you have." Gosh I'm witty.

She straddles me and we proceed to dry hump, pushing our baby making parts together through clothing aggressively. I'm enjoying it and she's emanating all sorts of amazing, feminine sounds. This goes on for a LONG time. She's sweating and moaning and basically just going ham on my dick.

After what seems like an eternity, I sit her up with the intention of progressing the interaction. She shyly grabs for her bra and shirt. I take them and toss them aside. I tell her she's beautiful and kiss her.

The mood shifts, and she proceeds to have another panic attack, worse this time. She cries and cries and cries, and I just hold her. She tells me she hates herself, that she knew this was going to happen, and she stayed anyways.

I tell her what we did wasn't a bad thing. In fact, I thought it was great, it was fun. That she was a great person, otherwise I wouldn't be obsessed with her. I probably shouldn't have used the word obsessed. Whatever.

She tells me she feels bad because she's "setting precedence for next time" and that "there are consequences." I ask her what consequences? She can't come up with any. She tells me, "I only started dating a year ago, and we've only been together 6 weeks." I ask her what that means, like is that supposed to mean something? She's stumped. All this just tells me that she attempting to rationalize her feelings of overwhelming guilt and shame. I ask her who taught her that this stuff was so bad. She said she told herself that. I told her I disagreed.

I don't do as good of a job this time flipping her state around, it was worse this time. She tells me she can't do this. She stays and pets the dog for awhile, feeling slightly better, and then peaces out. I hug her goodbye, but I can tell she's not into it, and we tell each other good night.

In the morning, I text her "Hey how you doing?", but not response. Sigh, this is some fucked up shit.

I've got lunch with AG girl in a little bit, I'm gonna talk to her about it and then do a little bit of research on sexual repression. We shall see what turns up, honestly though, I don't need this shit. I just feel bad for the poor girl. I'll give her some space, go with radio silence, she'll contact me again, and then I'll set up a meeting so we can talk and try to figure out a plan for the future. Onwards!

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My Pick-Up Journal

THanks man. I kinda failed at this last night unfortunately - Due to the fact that I had to be running around doing 50 million different things (damn my lack of organisation) Now that I *actually* know how to throw a party properly, I'll work on socializing and being the life of the party and incorporating all that good shit into the next party, planned for next month.

The drama has progressed...

Before I get to it, though, I want to share with you a quick, easy mindset shift that you can use so that you can be more attractive to women.

Most guys, when they see a hot girl, think, "Holy shit! She's hot! I want to fold her into an awkward yoga pose and fuck her into the deep outer reaches of the Orion galaxy!" They they go talk to her, she senses all this, and doesn't feel attraction. Validation, maybe. Attraction, nope.

Instead, think to yourself, "Hm, she's reasonably good looking. Good for her. I wonder if she's interesting or if she measures up to my ridiculously high standards. I mean, yeah, she's cute, but is she as awesome as I am? I mean I work on myself EVERY SINGLE DAY pushing my edges in health, my career, and in my social skills. Is she doing that? Or is she sitting at home eating muffins and watching Game of Thrones?"

By the way, if you're not pushing your edges in your health, career, and social skills every single day, what the fuck man... get on that.

After talking to her for a few minutes, maybe you find out something interesting or impressive about her (God, these girls are always trying to impress you). When that happens, think to yourself, "God. These women, always trying to impress me. You know, that is actually mildly impressive. Yup. I'm mildly impressed. But what about this other thing that I have high standards for in a girl? Does she meet that requirement too?"

Boom, you're welcome. I don't care if you don't believe it while you're thinking it. Keep thinking it.

I do some research on sexual repression, reading some articles online and watching some ex-mormon videos on YouTube. There is suprisingly little useful information on this topic out there. Well, not surprising, I guess. It's a hard subject to write about.

Then, I go for a 4 mile mountain run, feeling good, and hit up Hot Wok Cafe to do some post-workout nom nom nom'ing. AE girl meets me there and we talk.

I find out that her stigmatization against sex or anything sexual isn't religious-based. It's more a product of her very conservative upbringing (parents) and the guilt / shame from that childhood episode. She tells me that deep down she judges people who are openly sexual.

She tells herself every time we're physical, "Don't do this, Amanda! This isn't you!" and then she does it anyway. Then she feels disgusted with herself afterwards.

She tells me she really wants to wait for marriage, and that she thinks the stuff we do will eventually lead to sex (probably) and that having sex with someone before marriage is the first step on the way to becoming a slut (lol).

She asks me if from now on, when we watch a movie, we just watch a movie and not do anything else? I say sure.

My jaw is dropped open. This is nuts. Afterwards, I watched Big Hero 6 with AG girl and RI bro, and contemplated this whole thing hard.

I didn't voice my opinion all that much during the talk, but since then, I've written down a bunch of notes. I think I need to talk to AE girl about this. Here are the majority of the notes I wrote down:

-We have different values- I think sex / physical intimacy (not necessarily sex) is a healthy, normal part of any relationship where two people like / are attracted to each other. You think it's something bad / unhealthy / disgusting- I want to date someone who shares my view
-I don't wan't to wait until marriage (What if you don't like having sex with that person?). For me, reaching that level of intimacy is somewhat of a requirement if I'm ever going to think about marrying someone. I can't marry someone I don't feel that level of intimacy for.
-I want to be with someone, who after being physical with me, doesn't get really upset, sick, and hates herself after being physical with me, I don't think that's normal or healthy
-I want to be with someone who doesn't stigmatize sex or sexuality- I want to be in a relationship where I can enjoy a level of physical intimacy more than just kissing and holding hands
-I want to be with someone who doesn't judge other people for their sexuality ... No one likes being judged, do you? I see judging others as a way for someone to feel better about himself or herself by putting others down, I don't like it or think it's healthy
-I can respect if a girl doesn't want to have sex until marriage, that's fine. I just want to be with someone who doesn't stigmatize sexuality so badly. Like waiting for marriage but still being open and accepting and being able to communicate openly about this topic would be something I could work with.
-We haven't even really come close to sex. It's a pretty gray scale leading all the way up to it, and you've reacted negatively to lots of stuff beyond making out, so I don't know if it's even a problem with sex as much as anything sexual that bothers you
-I'm not saying you should have sex with me or else we can't date, because I don't even know if I want to, if you're just going to feel like crap afterwards- in a perfect world we would work together to change this belief you have, not by pushing the boundary and having you feel like crap over and over again, but by talking about it, talking to other people about it, reading literature about sexual repression, talking to other people who've had similar experiences, etc. etc.- but I know that someone's personal belief system is not something that can be changed from the outside, he or she must conclude it on his or her own, and I completely understand if this isn't possible. The way you were brought up and your past makes it really difficult, maybe too difficult, so...
-I still like you, I still enjoy spending time with you
-so what if we still hung out, but just as friends? We can still play music, play sports and stuff, we would just be good friends and not dating

Woooooof. Yeah. So basically, I'm going to break up with her. I'm going to tell her maybe I'm just not the right guy for her, maybe our value systems are too different, and that she would be better off with a guy with a similar value system.

I just sent her a text, "Hey, I've thought a lot about what you said, I want to talk with you again about some thoughts I've written down. Do you have free time today or tomorrow?"

She responds, "probably not today, but tomorrow, yes"

I respond, "k k"

I actually don't feel that bad about this, despite feeling close to this girl and her being gorgeous. It was fun while it lasted, I think all the other options aren't something that I would consider up to my standards.

For example, I could continuously seduce her and probably lead it to sex, but she would feel shitty afterwards every time. I don't want that.

I could do any number of other things, but I've concluded that this way is the best, most honest, truest to my value system way to go. Unless you bozos have any other suggestions.

Anywho, we shall see how it goes. Ning out!

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My Pick-Up Journal

I think you're making the right decision.

You know what's important to you and if that's incompatible with what's important to her, then it's best to cut it off now before both of you get more wrapped up in the emotional side of this thing.

You may feel some guilt for cutting this off, which is OK. But down the line, you'd feel way more guilt for pushing her towards sex... or way more resentment if you had to cut off all physical intimacy to accommodate her issues (and subsequently, then you'd feel guilt for being resentful towards her.)

At the end of the day, you are not responsible for her emotional development. This is an issue for her, yes. But if she ignores it, or refuses to look at it differently - or even chooses to embrace it - that's her choice. In an odd way, once she's made that choice the best thing for you to do is respect it by letting her be with someone who has similar views.

Love is a fucked thing sometimes. Like the great American poet Jordan Sparks once said "Love is a battlefield." The good thing is guys who work on themselves usually end up winning.

Right, wrong, left, right, up, down, who knows. Things are going to change around here.

So there I am, clickity clacking on my keyboard, when HS girl calls me and flirts with me for 40 minutes over the phone. We talk about random personal development bullshit (my favorite subject) and game (also my favorite subject). She tells me she's applying to places in Denver. I tell her I'm not surprised, with a smirk on my face that she hears over the phone. She tells me, "Oh my God, you're SO cocky." Why yes, yes I am.

I hang up after awhile, look down, and apparently got a text from AE girl reading, "I got done early, do you still want to talk?"

I meet with her at her lab. I've already deliberated a bunch over what the hell to say to her, writing more and more notes, then deciding not to go with the notes, then deciding to go with the notes again. I sit down with her, and tell her I'm just going to be as honest as possible.

I tell her I like her, I like hanging out with her, I like playing music with her, I like playing sports with her.

However, this whole thing with sex and the freaking out is wierd and confusing to me. I tell her that our value systems differ, and that she wants to wait for marriage. That's okay. She thinks sexual stuff is bad. Okay, I disagree, but I can always respect another's opinion. I tell her, "You know how even though you have this thing against sex, in the moment you still get lost in it and it's still hard to resist and stop?" She nods. I tell her it's going to be even harder for me, because I obviously don't have a thing against sex. It's still going to be up to her to set her boundaries, which I will always respect. She nods again, saying how she understands, she's sorry she's been so bad at setting her boundaries, and that she thinks it's her fault that it goes so far every time. I smirk and tell her it's at least 50% my fault, and she giggles.

Guys, master the smirk. It's like a secret weapon that tells everyone around you, I'm confident. Seriously, if you master the smirk, give her laser eye contact, and say literally anything, she's going to giggle.

I tell her I don't like the fact that she's judgemental about it, and how she judges other people for it. That comment hurts her, because a lot of other people have said that before. She says, "Maybe I am judgemental. I try not to be... I can try harder not to be." I tell her I appreciate that, and that we really don't know what it's like for another person, and that judging someone else is just a way for us to feel better about ourselves by putting others down, which isn't healthy.

I then proceed to ask her if she thinks we're right for each other. Maybe it would make more sense for her to find someone with similar values to her. She tears up and says she thinks so, because she really likes me and that she hasn't met anyone with similar values to her. She says that if sex is that big of a deal for me and if I don't think it'll work out then she'd be really sad for awhile. I tell her I wouldn't want that, and hold her hand.

I tell her the last thing I want is for us to push the envelope, have her breakdown. Back off, and then repeat like a week later. I think that wouldn't be good. I told her I didn't even want to have sex if I knew she was going to have an epic breakdown after. She says she really likes when we hold hands, when I kiss her, and when we cuddle. She tells me it's a big deal that she likes that, and that it means she really likes me.

Sigh. Well, I actually do like this girl. We'll continue this dance for now...

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My Pick-Up Journal

We go to the Alleycat and study.
The next day, she texts me for lunch.

I'm going to use this as a growing opportunity. My state control is iffy around AE girl, it's not as free flowing, not as self amused, etc. etc. Going to change that. Need to make my frame ROCK SOLID.

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My Pick-Up Journal

Things are swinging back into shape!

By things, I mean by beautifully sculpted body. Ran 10 miles yesterday, with a mountain climb in the middle. Didn't feel nearly as out of shape as the last couple weeks, which means my body's adapting! Special shout out to all the ladies of Fort Collins who got to see me with my shirt off: you're welcome. Enjoy the rest of your day!

I arrive at Spanish Club filthy, sweating, and nasty. Everyone asks me about my run. Gosh, I love being the center of attention. I sit next to AE girl, she immediately starts smiling and flirting with me. Girl! Give me some time to recover and rehydrate! So distracting.

We check out this dude's pictures from his Antarctica trip, and there's tons of pictures of penguins being silly. His pictures are pretty high quality, though, I must say (mildly impressed). I ask him in Spanish what type of camera. When he tells me, I say, "ooooohhhh, awesome," and nod my head exaggeratedly like I understand. I then turn and whisper to AE girl, "I have no clue what that means..." She giggles on cue. How am I so witty and self amused all the time?

It's brought up that Antarctica bro has an Asian girlfriend. I immediately demand picture evidence, and EF girl laughs and calls me a "cotilla", which means "gossip girl" in Spanish. Guilty as charged, I love gossiping and I love talking about people's love lives.

As we all get up to leave, we decide to take FW bro (the club leader) out to dinner, as it is his last day before he wooshes off to St. Louis to pursue a girl (they'll do that to ya...). I ask him when he's gonna pop the question. Everyone laughs. I'm so funny. We're joking around, EF girl makes a comment about my "tableta de chocolate", which means 6-pack in Spanish (yes, seriously). She asks AE girl about it, AE girl responds in Spanish that it's "like a rock." My ego swells with pride. I pat AE girl on her stomach and say that hers is too, it's just hidden by a small layer. She laughs right on cue.

We go to Pueblo Viejo and eat all manner of Mexican Food. I pound an enormous heaping of chips, salsa, chicken fajitas, rice, and beans. Play footsies with AE girl under the table. All in all, a grand time.

AE girl and I walk EF girl back to her car, and EF girl asks me if I can lift her bike and put it in her car for her. I respond, "only if you tell me I have huge muscles." They both laugh, and EF girl tells AE girl that her "novio" (boyfriend) is the worst.

AE girl drives me back home afterwards, and in front of my house, she parks the car and unbuckles her seat belt. That basically means, Ning, please make out with me now.

I oblige.

This goes on for maybe 40 minutes or so. I feel like I'm back in high school hahahahahaha. Then I head back in and call it a night.

The self amusement, carefreeness, and free-flowing has gotten better, but I need to consciously work on it and be aware of it around AE girl. Should've tried for some verbal escalation during the makeout, but the only thing I said was, "I could do this all night." Not great. Will consciously work on it in the future. I should've said something like, "You are making me think some really bad thoughts..." "You're making me want to terrible things to you right now..." That'd be gold.

Anywho, keep rollin and trollin, gangstas!

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My Pick-Up Journal

I'm eliminating afternoon naps from my schedule. Yesterday was day 1 of making this a habit. It took a caffeinated drink, but I stayed energized and wrote chunk of the ebook. Unfortunately, I did take a small break that turned into a large break listening to Eminem music videos. He's so damn good.

I can get A LOT more done without these naps. My plan is to post lunch do another power rush (my morning meditation) exercise, use caffeine if I need to, and pump out a lot more work.

I WILL finish this eBook. Then I WILL figure out how to market it, generate leads, set up a website, set up an email list serve, etc. etc.

After the afternoon productivity session, I went to running club and did 6 miles up and down a mountain. Getting stronger! 10 yesterday and 6 today. I'm eating like a garbage truck.

Leadville 100 in one year. That's my vision. It's gonna be sick.

After the run, I meet up with AG girl and RI bro, and we borrow KF girl's truck to move a ping pong table. We head to Windsor, grab the table, and transport it to AG girl's house, where we down pizza and play ping pong for the rest of the night.

AE girl and I also snapchat each other throughout.

A solid time, but I will be spending less time with RI bro, he's kind of a drag. AG girl, as always, is awesome and can do better than RI bro.

Tonight I organized an event to watch the meteor shower. It might end up being me and AE girl. Which I'm fine with. More chances to practice that STATE control and FRAME control. Let's do this!

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My Pick-Up Journal

For all who are curious: My running history!

Started junior year in high school to train for basketball.

Joined cross country senior year. Girl I was dating senior year (LJ girl) asked me if I wanted to do the Boston Marathon (we lived one town over from the start). I asked her, "What's that?" She explained it's 26 miles, and I said, "eh, let's try it!" The farthest I had run was 10 miles.

We finish in 6 hours (barely a walking the last 6 miles). I immediately think to myself that that was the hardest thing I had ever done, and I was never doing that again.

It takes me a week before I can walk down stairs right.

After which I immediately wonder to myself if I can do better.

We do it again next year, and start signing up for road marathons all over.

Steamtown marathon, Hartford marathon, Pittsburgh marathon, and more Bostons. I get all my friends involved running through sheer passion. I meet people through running club and inspire them to try their hands at the distance.

Eventually LJ girl runs a 50 miler. I'm flabbergasted. I read Dean Karnaze's book, Ultramarathon Man, and wanted to try my hand at higher distances.

A couple years later, I run the same 50, in a little known race north of Boston called the Stone Cat Ale Trail 50. I finish dead last in almost 14 hours, but I finish. This qualified as the new hardest thing I had ever done.

I spend a year training for a 100, the Massanutten Mountain Trail 100 in Virginia, but in the spring, training is interspersed with sickness and injury.

I get there, with my family and HS girl in support. I run 15 miles and sprain my foot on a rock. Then I walk / run 20 more miles on it, and call it quits around mile 37. DNF (Did not finish). The dream to run 100 is still alive.

I sign up for the inaugural Cayuga Trails 50 in Ithaca, which happened to be a couple days before I left on a cross country bicycle touring trip, which was my idea of some Eat Pray Love shit where I did some soul searching to forget about HS girl (it was in the middle of that whole mess).

I channel my frustrations with the relationship with HS girl into my training, and absolutely hammer out an amazing season of running. Averaging close to 70-80 mile weeks, doing 20 on Saturday, 20 on Sunday, got into really tip top shape.

This 50 was harder than the previous in that it was an out and back twice, and each out and back had 6 major climbs. It was a TOUGH course, with over 10,000 ft of elevation +/-. My training pays off, and I finish in 13.5 hours, coming in NOT dead last!

I recover much quicker than before, due to my great training season, and start my cross country tour with an 80 mile bike ride two days later.

Running in Fort Collins has been tougher because of the altitude, but I've been active, and now it's time to get serious. Leadville 100 here we come.

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My Pick-Up Journal

Yesterday I treated myself to a 3 mile run with the running club. Here's one thing I've noticed: People have boring conversations. They talk about boring things because they can't think of better things to talk about. They resort to automatic scripts they run. AE girl is also guilty of this. Her favorite question is, "How was your day?"

I might be slightly guilty of this. My automatic response right now is, "Fantastic! How about yours?" This has been my go to for eons now, and it's time to switch it up. I'm interested to see what my fountain of creativity will spout the next time someone asks me this.

New. That's the word of the day.

New morning routines. New lines of conversation. New ways to self-amuse.

I've been getting too comfortable. My first thought was that it was AE girl's fault, but it's not. It's mine.

Sure, it's easy to get comfortable when a cute girl is catering to your every whim, so you get complacent, you don't act or behave on point, but that's not her fault.

It's crazy. When I was single and just fooling around, my brain was filled everyday with this carefree feeling of masculinity, productivity, and self-amusement. In this relationship, it's filled with results-oriented thoughts of how to hang out with AE girl more.

Weird, but I'm actually HAPPIER single than with her!

It's a challenge. I'm going to view this as a challenge to meld the two. I can be in a relationship. Enjoy all the making out, the cutesy dates, and the cuddling that this setup gives me. And I can enjoy the happiness that comes from being single. As soon as a hangout session with AE girl is over, my mental control has to be strong enough to immediately toss all of that aside and focus on my VISION.

How do you forget a drug right after you come down from the high?

Here's my action steps:

1. Productivity. In the lab. On the eBook. Make more videos.
2. Hang out with OTHER friends more. Go out on the town.
3. Run more (already doing this).
4. Re-assume my playfully challenging attitude throughout the whole day, and have fun, emotionally charged, self amusing conversation with EVERYONE I interact with.

School starts in 2 weeks. A flood of distracting college girls will arrive. The to-do lists will grow and the calendars will fatten. Bring it on.

Here's another tidbit I've noticed with writing:

In recent times, I've become results-oriented in my thinking when writing. Thoughts such as:

I just want to finish this section.
I need to keep going.
How many pages was that?

Not healthy, and not productive. Instead, I'm going to BANISH those thoughts and replace them with process-oriented thinking, and just get lost and enjoy the writing process. Better for my state. Better for productivity.

A recent thought that I had on girls:

Girls ENJOY validation, but they don't necessarily respond to it.

They DISLIKE invalidation, but respond to it.

That means in a relationship, you can shower a girl with validation and she'll feel nice and tingly inside, but then she'll go on to spend her day doing brainless shit like watching Netflix.

Then you can tell her something like, "I don't know if we are right for each other." Give her a whiff of invalidation, and suddenly she will obsess over you, want to hang out more, and blow your phone up.

Yes, this is exactly what has happened between AE girl and I.

A world without manipulation doesn't exist. People are always manipulating each other, whether it be conscious or unconscious. Accept that it happens, and be fluent in it's language.

I was gonna write that it's fucked up, but I won't. It simply IS. I can either take it and use it, or view it as something negative, which is useless. Take it or use it it is!

Invalidate, validate. Push, pull. Hot, cold. Makes females (and males) go crazy apeshit bananas.

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My Pick-Up Journal