Yesterday I spot a 9 at the bar. We have eyecontact. Long.
My taxi for the party arrives so I have to go, in the taxi I'm thinking "shit I cant let this one go" so I call a (female) friend of mine who is still at the bar, explain the situation and ask her to tell this girl to add me on FB.
Today I get the friend request.

I asked my friend what the girl said. She said she didnt say much, looked quite shy but seemed to find it very nice.

So also today I start chatting, she is responsive and even tries to keep the conversation going herself. It wasn't a continuous conversation (lots of time in between reading and answering) and I think in total we exchanged like 10 sentences.

Because I'm not interested in investing much time chatting without even knowing if I like this girl I think by myself I just ask her to go on a date right away. I tell her;

"Really liked your vibe yesterday, want to get to know you and not by chat... Will you go out with me one of these days?"

After this she went quiet...

Did I go to fast?
How should I proceed?

I aint done with this one yet, so please some advice

Thanks!

These are always the worst, due to the dilemma of "wait and hope she answers" or "hit her again then be viewed as clingy/needy/pushy" and turning her off. why not just wait a couple days then hit her up? I know it feels weird when you hit them with some message and they never answer it, and you end up sending back to back (at different times, mind you), but what's the worst that happens? If you message her again and she ignores you, move on and know you tried. If you don't message her, you'll never find out, ehh?

I definitely will contact her again. I have nothing to lose so why not...

Anyone advice on how I should proceed and how long I should wait?

Thanks

If you're feeling bold enough, you could be a cornball and say something like, "oh I guess your messenger isn't working, let me send my message again", wait a couple more days I would say. Just keep telling yourself, what do you got to lose?

Women build from the bottom to the top.

Men build from the top to the bottom.

As men we naturally want to get straight to the point and to the purpose. We can find at all of the small things later. Women want us to care about the process. Ever ask a girl for her number and she immediately says " You didn't even ask me my name". That was her first knee jerk reaction because in her mind.. If don't even care what her name is, how could you possibly care about keeping her safe, secure, and loving her. Now of course we don't see it that way' but they do. They're step by step in their mind and its a battle between us getting to the point and them getting their hoops jumped through. Now the higher your value the less hoops you have to jump through. The higher their value than yours the more they may want you to jump through, and even then it still may not be enough.

So what you have to realize is.. That her in female mind, she is seeing this conversation as.. " If he couldn't ask me for my number in purpose (had to send someone else to do it), and if he can't even maintain a conversation on Facebook (step one), how is he going to maintain a conversation on a date (step 2)? She's not just assuming that you will be able to be great on the date. The Facebook chat is her way to tell whether or not it'll be worth. She'll assume you do this the way you do everything. So on the date you'll be just trying to jump to step 3(sex). It'll like " I don't wanna sit here eating for too long investing time when I haven't even had sex with her yet." - Thats how she'll see it.. Intelligently so, because you have yet to display you're capable of anything. She's not just going to assume things are going to turn out like a movie.

So with that being said.. MY advice to you would be to just have the conversation man. Had you approached her on your own, and put in your own effort i'd give other advice. But you didn't; she doesn't even know you or what you're about yet.

Pump the breaks and have the talk. You're trying to get something, without giving anything.

Not saying that your message couldn't' work, because it could, but if you want to increase the probability of its success and/or increase the probability of a successful date, I'd relax and have the talk. Its not like you'll be meeting her in the next 20 mins in which you couldn't converse anymore.

Get it done man. Sometimes its a process, not and event.

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Excellent point. Read what I just posted in the building confidence subsection on "the golden circle", it further explains this!

Just thought of something btw, instead of asking the general question of "would you like to go out", next time hit them with a "wanna grab some coffee sometime?" Or something along those lines, preferably after bantering and building up an attraction. If you're looking to meet up, I would save the rapport building for in person interaction. Much like a #numberclose, you'll likely pass by someone for a short while, banter (thus DHV),then get the number. I'd you build your attraction throught bantering, she may be more inclined to agree (which I know is harder when they take a year to reply haha).

Any ways, with the coffee line, if they don't respond within a few days and you feel they've seen it, hit them again with someone like "ok fine, tea?" They might think it to be "cute", because you're reapproaching them in a seemingly harmless way. That's just my theory however, I would seek advice from some MPUAs

Very nice insights Eddie. Makes alot of sense.
Well I'll try the conversation then...
Should I keep making it clear that I'm interested in her? Or should I focus on being laid back and try to find similarities, things we have in common so she get's at ease?

Tnx, like your "tea idea"

So I got to talking to her a little bit.
Last week she told me that her week was full but that she would get her new planning by the end of the week.
So this weekend I ask her;

Me: How's that planning going?
She: Saturday "name of a party"?

I didnt want to come over as needy, since I wasnt planning on going to this party + I would rather have her on a date and isolated to spend time alone with me...

Me: I'm going kitesurfing when the wind is right... What about this week?

Since then (2 days ago) she stopped responding...

For me, it wouldnt feel needy to give it a last shot... So how should I proceed?

I would give this a read: viewtopic.php?f=25&t=190620

And take the advice in it as far as what to do next.

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Eddie, thnks for the reply.
I've read your topic (a few times) already but I wonder if it isnt something more suitable for a more experienced PUA? Although I'm 30 and had some relationships and let's say a dozen woman in my life I really feel I'm at the beginning of all this...
Also considered the way we got in contact (a gf of me asked her to add me on fb and we started chatting from there...). You still would give the same advice?

You don't become a manager by acting like a manager after you've gotten the position, you become a manager by showing managerial qualities before you've gotten the position.

So my answer is yes.

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Eddie covered it already, but seriously don't do shit like this.

Were you really expecting her to say "OH GOD YES PLEASE DATE ME" after a 10 sentence conversation? Really now.

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