So I met this girl about three weeks ago and we kicked it off pretty well, game was strong she was really digging me. At the time we met she had a boyfriend and three days after hanging out with me she broke up with her boyfriend and told me she wanted to be with me . She seemed really into me she was talking about how she could see us together for a long time and our future and blah blah. We messed around sexually all the time, finger/oral sex but never full-blown sex. Two days ago when we were messing around we ended up having sex and it was great we had sex for about two hours I thought I was golden but to my surprise four hours after she left my house she sent me a text message saying that she couldn't be with me she just couldn't explain it she said she couldn't be with me. Im a little confused I never had a girl act this way before any thoughts anything anyone tell me to figure this out??????

Was the sex great for her as well?

It felt like it was.. she had like 5 orgasms. Im not trying to bragg but Im 23 and do this often so I know when they are faking it. Im tyred of fucking random girls and wanna settle for some time so I was going to do that with her. I just never had a girl disapear like that when everything was going great. She even took me home to
meet her parents.

Give her a second, she fucked you, this is when she starts to truly invest in you.

Sex is when she is most vulnerable, especially for many women. It’s intimidating, potentially dangerous, and forces some of her greatest insecurities to the surface. She is making a huge investment in her mind.

I'm guessing there was some needy behavior in the mix,
You expressed those feelings huh?

Told her all your feelings before all your unborn children stuck to her thighs dried up?

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Guilt.

How did you respond?

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Give her space. When she contacts you be understanding, show compassion without turning into her emotional tampon. This is her stuff she's dealing with, and most likely has nothing to do with you so don't try to 'fix', just rather listen and show empathy/understanding for what she's going through.

What Jablowme said.

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My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
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You have some of, in my opinion, the best posters on this site commenting on your post... please don't do what the typical guy would do and ignore their advice.

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@Heywood Jablowme
I felt like my body language was somewhat needy at times, but my attitude not at all. She was constantly looking for reassurance asking me if I was serious about the relationship and so on. This made e laugh lol ^^^
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@Eddie Fews
I Just called her 10 minutes after she sent the text and asked what was wrong, She just restated what she said on the text about how she had made a mistake and so on. All I said was "this is pretty unexpectd, but if thats how you feel then ok" and we got off the phone.
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@n2thevoid
Thanks for the advise lets see if she tries to contact me
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@J.Daniels
You got it! .. I always follow the advice from this forum its worked 99.00% of the time for me so its great.

Just tell her that you think she's cool and you want to see if you 2 can build something together, but if she's not interested then to give you a call when she changes her mind... then don't contact her again. She's trying to make you sit around and be her back up plan. Fuck that shit. Respect yourself and only go for what you want!

_________________
I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

Without getting in her head we have no idea what's really going on, its sheer speculation.

-maybe she's got buyers remorse (feels she was too easy)
-maybe she's having 2nd thoughts about her ex
-maybe she's having 2nd thoughts about jumping into a relationship altogether
-maybe she'd realized you aren't the guy she desires

Who knows. But more importantly it doesn't even matter. All we have to go on is her behavior - how she bounced a few hours after sex and what she'd told you.

So she says you can't be together. How would a confident, secure man respond?

"No worries, I respect your decision."

Stop there. No long-winded questions about her state, or pining to he about how you felt you two had such an awesome vibe blah blah blah. You've got to have the air about you that you can walk at any moment. This isn't done out of a threat to the girl, but rather that you've got other pressing things that require your energy and if she's not on board then no hard feelings, peace unto you and "when you're ready to see me let me know" energy about you.

Unless she's a complete whack job never burn bridges, leave an opportunity for her to come around and that's why I like the whole "when you want to hangout lemme know". It's saying to her "hey I like you and would love spending time with you but I got a lot of other stuff going on so drop me a line when you come to".

Don't message her any of this stuff, they are just examples of the abundance energy you want to embody and if you aren't there yet fake it till you BECOME it.


In my profession you learn how to turn the volume down on what people say. Dial it WAY down and focus on the behavior. I look for patterns, I see what people are doing with their bodies, how they are engaging with me NOT the verbals as those are often incongruent to what's happening internally. Even when somebody gives you a "NO" it is not a rejection at all really, it's a representation of an unmet need they have and its your task (if you want it to be) to figure out what that need is and appeal to it.

So her saying you guys can't be together is a manifestation of an unmet need she has. We don't know what it is SPAM and you can't be expected to sit there fumbling around trying to determine what it is at least until you've got more information. For now I'd see her as having the need for space/autonomy to deal with her stuff. In the mean time you are pursuing other leads and/or just DOING you.

Should I contact her or give her space?... Its only been 2 days since then. I feel like its a little early to re-initiate contact. I dont want to come off needy or giver the impression that I cant "live without her" or anything like that. I mean I want her and all but I like you said I have a high enough level of self respect to know when to toss the towel.

Go and search YouTube for Corey Wayne - The Illusion of Action

You don't do anything. You should've just replied "That's a shame. I really like you and I thought we could potentially build something. Give me a call if you change your mind, cause I think you're great." and then never reached out again until she does, at which point you set a date and fuck her again to make sure you're not in the friendzone.

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I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

Don't contact her. Let her reach out to you FFS.

Thanks for all the advice guys, really appreciate it.
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@n2thevoid
lol I know, I wont. I had already posted that question before I read your reply. By the way what field/area of study does your profession fall in? I've studied some psychology on my spare time but it caught my attention when you mentioned that you tone down the verbal aspect but focus on body language.

Next question on pAge 2 ----->