Thanks.
Haha. I know. I've seen it.

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Female user here.

Okay, okay. But one last question.

I know he's an ex, and I know I'm not going to sleep with him after this. But do you guys think I should just continue to casually text him (not sext), or just go no-contact? Given that he is still very sexually attracted to me.

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Female user here.

What would be the purpose for you keeping contact with him?

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

I am just hoping things can get better between us to the point where he may start warming up to the idea of wanting to be together again.

I have an update on this story though. The other night I did contact him asking him to meet me, and he did immediately. Dropped what he was doing at that time (it was a Friday night), and met me in 15 minutes from a cab. (The last time I had seen him was during our break-up a month and a half ago.) It ended up being a very nice time with us hooking up at the end and cuddling/pillow-talking 'til the sunrise. He left that morning and texting has been nice and pleasant since.

I know none of this means he is ready to get back into a relationship at this point. But I am just happy that the evening went that well and that he seems to be thinking about me more now than he had before the break-up.

So, not exactly the end result I was aiming for but maybe it's just a matter of time at this point. (Or maybe not.) We'll see. I am not going to go no-contact on him, but I'm not going to text him frequently either. In the meantime, I am dating other guys and doing my thing. But I think what someone said in this thread earlier before (feed his ego) was good advice.

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Female user here.

That's weak. Go meet other guys. Plenty of awesome people in the world. You move forward in life by moving forwards. Not backwards. People somehow manage to lose sight of that.
That mentality will only aid in this ending badly for you. You're trying to do his work for him.

[/quote]

Breaking up with someone is similar to rehab. You go through emotional withdrawal. So yes he'll drop everything if it means getting a quick fix. That doesn't mean he'll be doing the same tomorrow.

When I told you to let him starve I also told you to do it authentically. It seems to me you're planning this whole thing out and not only will that increase your chances of failing but it will be mentally exhausting.

You actually have to be willing to lose him. You have to actually want to go meet other people, not do it because some guy on a forum said so. You want this to be real, and reality implies a chance of things not turning out the way you want them to. And that's fine.

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

So it turns out I got him back somehow. I didn't do anything that was inauthentic or insincere to me. I didn't have to play any games, go no contact, or pretend not to be thinking about him. In fact, I think going no contact would've made things worse in this situation. Not really sure what happened but since that hook-up night we've been texting every day and meeting up every week. We're even planning a vacation together. *shrug* I guess exes do come back sometimes.

Anyway, yay! This was really unexpected.

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Female user here.

Completely disagree with RC. You're telling her to act like a male pimp, not a great female catch.

He probably realized you're a better package than what he was chasing... If I have a great female option I'm not going to just throw it away.

*Almost* anyone (especially younger) will trade up for a better package. If another one comes along, esp at his young age, expect to see the same thing. This is exactly what I do to my "main girl"... He was likely investigating a 'better option' that likely went stale.

I'm glad it worked out though. As I get older I really want to find a steady girl than just hooking up. But even at 27 it seems like I'll always lust for variability.

She's on a pickup forum - I think it's probably safe to assume she was looking for tricks and insight into how to win him back.

He gave the advice I'd probably give.

Regardless, sounds like it worked out for you, OP.

Yeah, he did tell me during the break up that he missed his ex-girlfriend. (The ex-girlfriend that he had initially left so that he could be with me.) He probably got back with her and realized she was boring and plain, lol. I bet she doesn't pole dance!

I used to think I'd always lust for variability but that definitely seems to change for a lot of people in their 30s. Especially when you find someone who really does it for you.

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Female user here.

All the advice here was useful to me. I went out, I met other guys, I focused on my hobbies, but I also texted him when I missed him while at the same time giving him space.

But yep, it did work out. Thanks guys!

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Female user here.

I'm glad for you. I just hope you won't be back here a week from now with the same situation repeating itself.

In my opinion you gave in a bit prematurely. Good luck.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.