| Hello! I'm a 32 year old guy who hasn't been in the "game" for about 16 years. I recently started online dating and succeeded in getting my first date. Everything seemed good. We used the online service messenger for a day or two until she gave me her phone number. We switched over to texting; and the Friday before our first date, we had a nearly two hour phone conversation. As you can Imagine, I was thrilled.
So, Saturday comes and I am eager to meet her at a family restaurant for dinner. I get there and she is waiting for me in the lobby. Obviously, I am nervous, but I push through it and go inside. I approach and she sees me. I asked if she was "Jane" (not real name). She said yes and I introduced myself. We then get seated and she begins asking me a ton of questions. I am horrible at conversation. My brain doesn't keep up too well and I have speech impediments (stuttering, stammering, unable to pronounce certain words) that can get bad when I am nervous. Anyways, I tried my best to maintain the conversion and maintain eye contact. We order our meal and she continues to ask questions all the way through dinner. With this being my first date in 16 years combined with inexperience in dating, my end of the conversion was failing. I couldn't think of enough to ask her.
After we finished dinner, we both drove to a nearby mini-golf course. I had asked her if I could pick her up, but she refused since we hadn't met before in person. We get to the mini-golf and I really start opening up more. I was having fun and she seemed to be as well. We played through both courses and were done with day. It was hot and really humid that day. Before we parted, I asked her if she wanted to see me again and she said yes (again, excited!). We said our goodbye's and went home.
Over the course of the next week, we spent a lot of time texting. I had told her after Tuesday, I was going to call her on my dinner breaks at work since our work schedules were different (she works day shift and I work night shift). She was fine with that. Well, Wednesday comes and she texts me saying she is going to her sister's place to help her move. So, no phone convo that evening. I was bummed. When Thursday came, she calls me early in my shift, which I was unable to answer, and leaves a voicemail. I text her saying I couldn't talk then. I finally get a chance to listen to her v-mail and she was turning down another phone convo. This time w/o a reason. I texted her a few times through the evening and never got a response. Friday comes, no work for me, and I finally get a text from. Still no reason for the previous night; however, she says she'll be available to talk later that night and she will call me. Ok, third time's the charm.
So, 8pm rolls around and she finally calls. She starts off being apologetic about the last few days. I was concerned, but that went away once she called. Anyways, we spent about 45 minutes on the phone with her ending it. She ended it by saying that she wanted to have something to talk about on our date the next day. I was fine with that. Our phone convo had gone similarly to our conversion during dinner the weekend before. She was talking about all sorts of things, but for the life of I could not get my brain to work. I literally felt brain dead. Her she was, asking me all sorts of things, and I could barely come up with anything to ask. There wasn't much quiet time either. It seemed like she needed to keep the quiet to a minimum. During the convo, I did ask her if she was going to allow me to pick her up this time and she said and gave me her address.
We get off the phone and I start pondering our conversation. I felt bad for not having much to add to it; so, I text her apologizing for my lack of conversation and explain to her that I am not good at it and that I have speech impediments which make it more difficult. About ten minutes later, I get 4 text messages from her saying that she wanted to call off Saturday because she doesn't feel like there is anything there. She also says she appreciates me telling her about my conversation skills and claims those things had little effect on her decision. She claims her decision to not see me was more based on our conflicting schedules. She wished me luck on finding that special someone. She did toss in something about me being a "really nice guy" and that she was hoping for more out of the conversation. Like what? She also mentions that she did not have the courage to tell me this over our phone convo.
I get done reading that and was like "WTF"? She goes as far as giving me her address and then takes a 180 on me? As a caveman would say, "Me no understand". I don't respond in hopes she might say something else; plus, it was quite late. I never did hear from her the rest of the weekend. So, I just let it go.
So, what did I do wrong? What would cause a women to give out her address only to do a 180 and stand me up? Should have I responded? Like I said before, I haven't been on the scene for about 16 years and am really "green" when it comes to meeting women and dating.
Thanks for reading!
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CHAT