Hi guys,

So, my dilema is this.
I have known HB 9 for about 6 years (although we never spoke properly as we had different sets of friends)
Since I became single again I decided to message her on the off chance she will say yes. She did.

So 1st date went well, grabbed some food and went bowling.
Interest was there as we actually got to know each other.

2nd date - grabbed food again and just spoke about everything and anything for 3hrs or so.
I noticed she was giving me indirect compliments and mentioned day's out together.
So generally good.

3 date - was pretty short, I had a few hours spare so I thought i'd invite her out for a coffee, which she happily accepted but she said she was with her mother. So in turn I had coffee with her and her mum, concentrating on getting the mother to approve (after all they do have an influence)

Now between all these dates we have been texting/messaging.
in person there seems to be interest, via messaging not so much.
I am fully aware i am much different face to face than via texting. im much more confident and cocky-funny face to face than via texts.
Thing is it has been years since I have been in the dating world and Im starting to feel like im coming across to 'needy' as in I will probably message her first and do the inviting, etc....

Ideally i want her to be the one contacting me so obviously I need to stop the "message her first" crap but before I do that is there any push pull I could use to regain the upper hand or am I making everything up in my head and it actually sounds she is genuinely interested but plain bad at messaging?

Ok serious question - and be honest with yourself: does she know these are dates that you're going on?

It sorta doesn't sound like it.

And if the answer is yes: why haven't you escalated? Gotten sexual or romantic. This is up to you to execute...

very good question.... honestly, I don't know.

Im stuck at what to do as I do not know when to make a move or not.
I feel like the complete noob in this.

Suggestions??

You escalate. Lots of threads here about it. Try the search. Google Vin DiCarlo's Escalation Ladder for some basic stuff. If she complies then you move to more serious stuff.

Escalation is how you test her for sexual attraction.

You can also suggest a "date" that can't really be mistaken for a friendly activity... Like a movie at your place on the couch...

Fuck the escalation ladder. Here is a valuable tool where you can think more and make things more complicated for yourself in-field.

Kissing girls at a party is dumb. Don't do it. Work the crowd grab numbers, let your friends make out with girls in 15 minutes. That doesn't matter. Focus on pulling and isolating girls.

Why collect all the pawns in chess when you can go straight for check mate? Kissing girls won't increase your odds for sex with her at a party or in a nightclub.

If you insist on kissing girls and becoming good at doing it quickly then kino, kino and ramp up the kino. You don't need a ladder to do this, but will learn through experience.

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Literally laughing out loud.

Only like 5 guys are even going to get the joke though ;(

Good job paraphrasing our favorite guru, hahah.

OP did you kiss her? It takes only 1 kiss and every interaction that involves the 2 of you spending time together without other people is a date and she'll see it as such.

If you didn't, then why the hell not?

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To me it sounds like you're going to get friend zoned the moment you try to make a move, because you're here asking us before you've even tried anything in 3 dates.

I'm personally not going out with a girls mom on a 3rd date, or on a date period unless there is actually something there.

Let me get cliche: You just have to go for it man.

The more apprehensive you become, the more second guessing you do and the more you ask us about some chick you've tried nothing with exception give her your money for three dates the more likely this won't work. You gotta take life by the horns. You have to try and be wiling to fail. You gotta be willing to hear her rejection.

You're afraid of her. And a womans power is only in what you're afraid she might do. She's running the show man.. What are you doing to do? Keep asking us, or actually make something out of this the next time you see her?

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