I'm afraid of women



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 Post subject: I'm afraid of women
PostPosted: Sun Jul 19, 2015 9:56 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2015 6:30 pm
Posts: 13
I'm afraid of women. There, I said it.

Well, that's not entirely true. Let's say, during the day, that my cell phone's battery is dead and I urgently need to call someone. I'd have no issues asking a HB10 if I could use her phone for a minute. I also have quite some female friends that I get along with well.

However, let's say I'm out with my friends. I'm having fun, I'm not great at dancing but I don't care, I have fun dancing. Suddenly a HB7, a friend of a friend, grabs me and wants to dance. I freeze. Either I'll find some lame excuse why I don't want to dance with her (probably pissing her off as well) or I'll suddenly start to dance all clumsy which kills all her attraction for me and makes me look goofy (= exactly what I'm scared of!)

I think the reason why I act different during the party because is my interaction with girls there is sexual. Asking to use her cell phone is an innocent question. In a club, all interactions between the sexes are (somewhat) sexual. And for some reason(s), I suck at it. I'm scared of such kinds of interaction. I've only had one GF in my life. Before we got together, we got along great. So I already felt comfortable around her when we got together in a club. BUT, her being very social, her initiating and alcohol greatly helped there. I guess I just got very, very lucky that night.

Some people think I play (extremely) hard to get. I'm not bad looking so they think I'm only going to put in the effort for an HB9 at minimum. While my standards are probably too high (thank you porn), this isn't really the problem. I've gone out with girls who showed some initial attraction, but they ended up making out with friends/strangers because I didn't make a move. I most likely won't even talk to her because I don't know what to say. In a quiet environment, I could include her in the conversations with my friends and have a good time with her. In a loud club, it's a one on one conversation and I suck at it with strangers.

A lot of PUA material teaches us how to make a girl comfortable around us. But my problem is the other way around. How can I quickly feel comfortable around a girl? And in general, all strangers. I'm confident around my friends, but extremely shy around strangers. I make lots of fun with my friends, but I don't know what to say around strangers.

Please help me out here sedditors, as long as I'm struggling with this I'll never become good with women!

TL;DR I'm afraid of sexual interactions and making a move on girls. In general, I don't know what to do/say around strangers because I don't feel comfortable around them.


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 Post subject: Re: I'm afraid of women
PostPosted: Sun Jul 19, 2015 10:16 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2014 4:41 pm
Posts: 1398
Location: England
You need to work on your inner game. Guys come to this pick up stuff, and they want routines, lines, one little line that will get her hooked on you. There's no such thing, lol.

You need to work on your inner game. It's like leg day; nobody likes it, but it's fucking vital and it'll help everything else.

Real Social Dynamics have more inner game material than you could ever watch. Go watch some of their shit. Write some goals down for your life, achieve them. FORCE yourself to do some approaches.

You'll never not be nervous, but you'll learn to reframe it in such a way that it's like, you can just tell the girl "Ok, lets dance, lets have a dance off!" and then you do your most stupid dance moves, PURPOSELY dance like an idiot, but you've worded it so that you're cool for doing so. Get it?

Dancing isn't even really a thing. I can get girls fairly easily, and I don't dance. I'm literally too shy to dance. I'm confident, but that's one thing I've never had the balls to do unless I've been insanely drunk.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm afraid of women
PostPosted: Mon Jul 20, 2015 1:24 am 
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Joined: Mon May 20, 2013 11:48 pm
Posts: 405
Location: Denver
Do this:

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=41556

I've been there brother, it gets better.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm afraid of women
PostPosted: Mon Jul 20, 2015 1:41 pm 
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Don't take yourself too seriously. You're afraid of your ego being hurt, not of women.

Joke around, be sexual in a half serious half humorous way. Self amuse. Laugh at your own short comings and most importantly do it relentlessly.

There's a saying that if you can get her to laugh she's half way fucked. That doesn't mean be a clown, it means that flirting isn't always nor does it have to be sexual. It's about having fun and sparking up positive emotions.

Try talking to strangers as you do with your good friends. Polarize.

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