Been on a couple of dates with a girl from my work. Gone well so far. Known her for quite a while, but I had a don't date at work rule for a while. Couple of weeks a go, we met and she basically said she was interested in me. We have since been on 1 proper date.

Met her briefly after work yesterday, and told her to come to mine on Saturday for dinner, which she couldn't make because of her cousins wedding, so i suggested Friday. She agreed, we kissed blah blah

Get a text from her today saying ' Hey. I have to be at my cousins quite early on Saturday to help her get ready. I was wondering if you fancied going out in London instead of me coming to yours...maybe another picnic somewhere? I don't mind coming over but I will need to make sure I don't miss the last train'

I just replied along the lines of 'still come to mine. I've got ingredients for a nice arabic dish. It will be fine, don't worry. See you tomorrow'

Its plausible that she probably does have to be at her cousins early on Saturday. My read on this is that she either worried I just want to fuck her and leave, whereas she sees me as boyfriend material. Or, she is saying it so it doesn't make it seem like she is easy and that sex is definitely going to happen (i think she is worried of appearing like a slut, because she I know she had a one night stand with a colleague a year ago, and was worried about telling me, because he is a friend...I don't really care though). My plan is to get her back to mine, eat dinner, and escalate, with the thoughts she definitely wants it to happen, but won't admit it to herself.

However, a friend read it and thinks she might be nervous, because I live outside of London, to the east. I know I can't go back to hers because she still lives with her religious parents, and is Asian, so they aren't going to welcome a white guy in their house. Other option is to go for the picnic and try getting a hotel in London, but that seems less certain to me.

What are peoples opinions? Am I reading the situation right?

I think I want something serious with her. I've felt I can be more open and be vulnerable to her than I have with other girls, but I'm conscious that I need to sleep with her soon to cement things.

I would cancel it and tell her let's reschedule - it's too complicated. Only a special guy would EVER do that.



(this show's you're not in a rush and will not give her an excuse next time to come to you)

This. Please do not go on the picnic.

Well she hasn't responded to my reply, but thats not a negative.

But no, I won't go for the picnic. Its plausible she might bail tomorrow.

If she does, I'll probably say something along the lines of 'yeah, lets plan it when we can spend more time together rather than having a rushed dinner'

I think with a little prying in that moment and she would of came over anyway. You just gave up. She was just looking for a little bit of motivation.

Had you just responded.. " You'll be fine. The last train comes at #:##. We'll make sure you make it. Where are you now? "

Its likely that she would of been coming over. It wasn't an outright flake. And some girls just need a little more push before they give in. In these situations I'll always pick up the phone and call the girl and just talk her through the emotions of the moment.

You just kind of gave up.

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Anyway back from this? Or just see what happens? She isn't meant to be coming over till tonight (i'm in UK, so its 8 am at the moment)

She still hasn't replied yes or no, so we will see. I would've text her again saying 'XX:XX is the last train, we'll make sure you're on that' because I was too vague in my initial reply, but I decided against it in case it made me look weak in recognition of the fact my first text wasn't great.

Play it cool man. Let her come along on her own.

Pushing someone thats pulling doesn't help.

The door says pull, so pull it. Don't push it. It won't open.

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You need to un-invite her if you want her interest levels to spike in a major way. She's already not coming anyway, so what's the diff.

"heyy something came up so i gotta bail on tonight any way. lets do it next week.."

If it were me, I'd have said sure, but let's do X instead of picnic. Not really into rushed sex, as she definetly has to catch a train anyway. So I wont get her to come over to have rushed sex, when she already has reservations anyway. I'd just take charge of it and do something else with her, get her a bit more comfortable so when the next date she comes over she's more at ease and can possibly spend the night. It's an Asian chick from work....not a blonde party girl from online. My point is, it's a different game than straight cold approach where you want to fuck as soon as possible. Plus it's been 1 date? That's just me though...if I work with her, she's not going anywhere...so why would I push a rushed night to sleep with her