Is she sleeping with someone else?



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PostPosted: Sat Jul 11, 2015 10:14 am 
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This might go against popular PUA thought but, does a girl not have sex for periods of time? Me being a guy I would assume that girls would try to have sex as much as guys do being that we're both human beings and it seems natural to want sex every day. But people have told me that girls who are looking for relationships will sometimes go without sex for months or even a year until she finds the right guy to date. I have a hard time believing that though. In my mind females have fuck buddies to get them through to the next relationship. But maybe that's really just new school thought.

Any insights on this part of the female psych? The reason why I'm asking is because I've been texting a girl who really seems to act like she wants a ltr with me. She flirted with me initially and I ended up closing and getting her number. But she flirted with me over the period of about 6-12 months because I would frequently visit her shop for supplies that I needed. But it's been three months since then and we've only hung out twice. Here's the thing though her job opened up a new store and she's the head manager at the new location. She says she's working 12 hour days sometimes and it's really hard on her. She takes care of a 6 year old daughter. I'm really inclined to believe her but I played it really close at the beginning of the relationship because I wasn't sure if she wanted to just mess around or if she wanted a boyfriend. She used to text more often and in a more interested way. Now she might text every couple of days and it's always something really short and uninteresting like "hey" or "hey you". Idk I'm really torn on what it could be. I'm 50/50 and I really don't know either way. Each way is plausible to me. I'm totally into this chick though. Like she's totally my type and I would have a ltr with her for sure.

But tonight I was just thinking to myself 'Do girls really go that long without having sex?' It doesn't seem like they would. Girls don't express being horny like guys do, but imo I think girls are horny just as much as we are. So it seems like they would always have a guy around for dick.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 12, 2015 5:21 am 
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This is a question that you will never get an accurate answer. Only the women themselves know. And 80% of the time, they won't admit it. But why does it matter whether she is fucking someone or not? If you want to fuck her, make your move, fuck her. If you want to date her, make your move, date her. You do what you want based on your desire, not her situation. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. That's it. Move on or try again some later time.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 13, 2015 12:50 pm 
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First consider the fact that you may not like the girl the way you do if you had more time to be around her. It is all the distance and absence from her presence that this causing you to mentally think of/fantasy about her in a manner that is causes some of the things that you're feeling.

Women are naturally more selective about who they sleep with her. Women will carry the potential child for 9 months. Guys will jerk off into a napkin, the same way they'll jerk off into a low quality woman. Now can this say whether or not she is having sex with someone? No. Theres no way for you to actually know, but then again, it shouldn't even be of any of your concern.

The truth of the matter is, you have to know your worth. If you require more time and attention from a woman that is incapable of giving that to you, you have to find someone else. You don't comprise your standards, and boundaries because you're feeling emotion. You stick to your guns.

Now this doesn't mean that you can't continue to talk to her, but continue meeting, flirting, and dating women. Its quite possible you'll find someone more fitting with more time on their hands.

I've dated extremely busy women, with little time on their hands, but I never committed to them. I'd tell them that until they have ample time to spend with me, i'm going to seek out and require attention and affection from other sources. What they need from me is not what I need from them.

Is she sleeping with someone else? Who cares. But if you really want to know. Just man up and ask her.

But my question is.. Do you only like her because you think she's not?

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2015 12:55 pm 
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First consider the fact that you may not like the girl the way you do if you had more time to be around her. It is all the distance and absence from her presence that this causing you to mentally think of/fantasy about her in a manner that is causes some of the things that you're feeling.

Women are naturally more selective about who they sleep with her. Women will carry the potential child for 9 months. Guys will jerk off into a napkin, the same way they'll jerk off into a low quality woman. Now can this say whether or not she is having sex with someone? No. Theres no way for you to actually know, but then again, it shouldn't even be of any of your concern.

The truth of the matter is, you have to know your worth. If you require more time and attention from a woman that is incapable of giving that to you, you have to find someone else. You don't comprise your standards, and boundaries because you're feeling emotion. You stick to your guns.

Now this doesn't mean that you can't continue to talk to her, but continue meeting, flirting, and dating women. Its quite possible you'll find someone more fitting with more time on their hands.

I've dated extremely busy women, with little time on their hands, but I never committed to them. I'd tell them that until they have ample time to spend with me, i'm going to seek out and require attention and affection from other sources. What they need from me is not what I need from them.

Is she sleeping with someone else? Who cares. But if you really want to know. Just man up and ask her.

But my question is.. Do you only like her because you think she's not?

She seems very genuine. I really like her because idk I just do. If it turns out that she had a guy on the side I probably wouldn't want her for a ltr anymore. But I'd still want to sleep with her. I'm very very picky when it comes to who I want to fall in love with and marry. It seems like even I wouldn't consider some 10's. She's not a ten. I think she'd probably be a 7.5-8 in most men's books. But idk there's something about certain women. I think ultimately it's confidence, but it's more than just confidence. I can't explain it. I've slept with hot women that I knew right away I wouldn't fall in love with. On the contrary I'll get crushes on girls like her who really don't show much interest in me or like her not give me enough attention and time.

So ultimately yes I do like that she says she doesn't sleep around, but I just don't know. I played it too emotional at the very beginning of the relationship and I think it turned her off. So that automatically tells me sort of what kind of girl she is. She's a player. She gets hit on a lot. I'm on the brink of moving on but I rarely get this close with this type of girl. But maybe I'm not even that close, I just think I am. She's just led me to believe I am. Which also makes me hurt by her, but you already know that's basic disqualifying moves from women. Most girls I really really am interested in having a ltr relationship with just don't want it with me. And she's told me repeatedly that she's open, but she's just busy with her new job. But in the back of my heart I think it's not true. I think she's just kind of disqualified me because she's playing the game.

Now this is something I've known since I've been studying PUA- that a girl that I have to use PUA on to get with is not the girl that I want to settle down with because I wasn't being myself when she fell for me. It's like hypnotism, and we kind of should know this. There's a fine line between improving yourself as a man and following a proven formula to qualify yourself to women who are in the dating game. I understand the PUA theories that I've read so far and I agree that they work. But to fall in love I want someone who just loves me for me. Because I'm just me. But I don't think that she would because she's already disqualified me. So in essence I've disqualified her, yet obviously I still have the emotions for her. It's kind of like a fantasy. You wish that that girl had the kind of heart that meshed with yours, but in reality she's just like any other girl that is out there qualifying and disqualifying men to sleep with. Not to say she's not looking for a boyfriend, I can't ultimately tell. Maybe somewhere in the middle. Maybe she would have slept with me if I made a move on the first date, my gut tells me she would. But because I liked her deeply I didn't try it. Of course I regret that because I would love to sleep with her, but on the other hand I'm just kind of sad and dissapointed because I would like to love this girl but she's already lost interest because I was too emotional too quick. So it's like I feel cheated like any guy who gets lead on then rejected. I feel like she's a really good liar. I mean we all know this feeling when we really like a girl and she rejects you because you're too emotional but she does it in that way where she just airs you out and leaves you to rot in that friend zone. We think she's the one or she's special and she turns out to be shallow. To me, a woman who rejects you because you're too emotional is shallow. It means she's playing the game and she sees you as just another dude who is trying to get with her when in reality you're trying to love her and she's just like whatever because a lot of guys try to love her. Honestly that's sort of a disqualifer for me really. But at the same time it hurts because you really want her to be special to just you. Of course this is all basic rejection stuff.

So I guess I could still pursue her but Idk if I would be able to keep my emotions in check. I could try to keep texting even though at this point the initiation is all on my part. My gut tells me it's over, I had my chance and I blew it.

I guess at this point my best bet would be to do like you said and make a decision on whether or not I should keep pursuing her. Even though it's one sided, there's still the possibility since I still go into her shop that in time if her hours go down she would still want to hang out. But since I've already gotten to the point where I realize she could take me or leave me it doesn't matter as far as a ltr goes and I could just try to sleep with her and maybe eventually she will. I would just have to keep my emotions in check.

But you're right she's probably not giving me enough attention for me, and that's not cool. Idk what it is, maybe a seperation issue, or a clinginess from my parents divorce. But for some reason when I get crushes on certain girls and they sort of just play with me it really irks me inside. And I've used PUA on a girl like that in the past and I totally got her wrapped around my finger. But THE MINUTE I started to show feelings for her and emotions she lost interest in me, and this girl totally wanted me for a year. We dated and we slept with each other all the time and I had her wrapped around my finger because I was successfully using PUA techniques. But once I started to catch feelings for her she was gone with the wind. To me, those type of girls are immature. But in my heart I'm terribly attracted to them, it's so strange. Like I have girls that are pretty decent looking in my life, but I already know I wouldn't have a ltr with them because they're just too nice to me. It's so strange, I don't fully understand the dynamic inside. Maybe it's just the basic 'we want what we can't have' thing. It's like I'm attracted to girls who think they're too good for me. Lol it's weird and kind of bad. I should settle down with one of these other girls that are virtuous, kind, loving towards me, but instead I chase these girls that really feel like they're better than me, or I chase girls that disqualify me. I hate it, but I love them at the same time. Idk man, idk what it is.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2015 1:22 pm 
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Its always the girls that we like most that seem to give us the hardest time when it comes to developing an LTR and you know why that is? Because we put them on a pedestal, they sense it, and then treat us accordingly. Whatever she wanted from you, she has already gotten, so she has no need to give you what you want, because you've already giving her ALL that she wants. Which is why she is playing it so distance.

After reading that man.. Its clear, women make time for what they want to make time for. When a girl likes you, she will find a way to see you. Now if thinks you'll stick around whether she sees you or not, whats her motivation for seeing you? You're going to be there anyway. Whats in it for her? Why not see a guy who won't be there and keep his attention, rather than seeing a guy who subtly shows that he will still pursue you whether you see him or not.

I also don't understand what you mean by not wanting to marry a girl you "picked up". I'm completely myself when picking up girls. I'm not a fan of these routines, tie dyed wigs, and magic tricks. I'm good enough all by myself, and so are you.

You're far too invested in someone that hasn't shown you enough yet. You're just influenced by this fantasy you have created in your own head. NO one sees it but you. She doesn't, I don't, and neither does the guy that will have a one night stand with her and never talk to her again.

Snap out of it. You have to train yourself to be willing to walk, and thats the only way you'll be able to maintain yourself when you encounter girls that you truly like. Once you make it clear that they've gotten you and you require nothing else, they will stop doing anything to keep you.

This isn't a movie man.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2015 6:18 pm 
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Quote:
Its always the girls that we like most that seem to give us the hardest time when it comes to developing an LTR and you know why that is? Because we put them on a pedestal, they sense it, and then treat us accordingly. Whatever she wanted from you, she has already gotten, so she has no need to give you what you want, because you've already giving her ALL that she wants. Which is why she is playing it so distance.

After reading that man.. Its clear, women make time for what they want to make time for. When a girl likes you, she will find a way to see you. Now if thinks you'll stick around whether she sees you or not, whats her motivation for seeing you? You're going to be there anyway. Whats in it for her? Why not see a guy who won't be there and keep his attention, rather than seeing a guy who subtly shows that he will still pursue you whether you see him or not.

I also don't understand what you mean by not wanting to marry a girl you "picked up". I'm completely myself when picking up girls. I'm not a fan of these routines, tie dyed wigs, and magic tricks. I'm good enough all by myself, and so are you.

You're far too invested in someone that hasn't shown you enough yet. You're just influenced by this fantasy you have created in your own head. NO one sees it but you. She doesn't, I don't, and neither does the guy that will have a one night stand with her and never talk to her again.

Snap out of it. You have to train yourself to be willing to walk, and thats the only way you'll be able to maintain yourself when you encounter girls that you truly like. Once you make it clear that they've gotten you and you require nothing else, they will stop doing anything to keep you.

This isn't a movie man.
Well I have walked now at this point. I stopped texting and if there's no more mutual seeking from her then I am going to assume it's over. I mean you're absolutely right, but see that in and of itself is a disqualifier for me. If I have to play hard to get to get a girl then she's not mature. Plain and simple. I am not of the school of thought that all girls need to feel like they should chase a guy in order to keep their attention in him. The exact opposite is the way it should be. It's about mutually sharing the same feelings not push and pull. You can philosophize all you like about push and pull, but if you push and pull to start a relationship chances are you're going to have to push and pull to maintain a relationship and that just means neither of you are mature. Ultimately if you have to ignore a girl in order for her to fall for you it means she's not looking for love, it means she's looking for a guy to chase.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2015 7:37 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Its always the girls that we like most that seem to give us the hardest time when it comes to developing an LTR and you know why that is? Because we put them on a pedestal, they sense it, and then treat us accordingly. Whatever she wanted from you, she has already gotten, so she has no need to give you what you want, because you've already giving her ALL that she wants. Which is why she is playing it so distance.

After reading that man.. Its clear, women make time for what they want to make time for. When a girl likes you, she will find a way to see you. Now if thinks you'll stick around whether she sees you or not, whats her motivation for seeing you? You're going to be there anyway. Whats in it for her? Why not see a guy who won't be there and keep his attention, rather than seeing a guy who subtly shows that he will still pursue you whether you see him or not.

I also don't understand what you mean by not wanting to marry a girl you "picked up". I'm completely myself when picking up girls. I'm not a fan of these routines, tie dyed wigs, and magic tricks. I'm good enough all by myself, and so are you.

You're far too invested in someone that hasn't shown you enough yet. You're just influenced by this fantasy you have created in your own head. NO one sees it but you. She doesn't, I don't, and neither does the guy that will have a one night stand with her and never talk to her again.

Snap out of it. You have to train yourself to be willing to walk, and thats the only way you'll be able to maintain yourself when you encounter girls that you truly like. Once you make it clear that they've gotten you and you require nothing else, they will stop doing anything to keep you.

This isn't a movie man.
Well I have walked now at this point. I stopped texting and if there's no more mutual seeking from her then I am going to assume it's over. I mean you're absolutely right, but see that in and of itself is a disqualifier for me. If I have to play hard to get to get a girl then she's not mature. Plain and simple. I am not of the school of thought that all girls need to feel like they should chase a guy in order to keep their attention in him. The exact opposite is the way it should be. It's about mutually sharing the same feelings not push and pull. You can philosophize all you like about push and pull, but if you push and pull to start a relationship chances are you're going to have to push and pull to maintain a relationship and that just means neither of you are mature. Ultimately if you have to ignore a girl in order for her to fall for you it means she's not looking for love, it means she's looking for a guy to chase.
It has nothing to do with playing hard to get, its all about maintain a level of independence. From what you have said, the moment you run into a woman you like you begin to lean on them for your own happiness. You become unhappy when they aren't behaving in the ideal way you see fit. You become a burden and that in itself is not attractive. This is why they don't want to be around you as often because emotionally you drain them. They would much rather be with someone offering them a part of themselves and not trying to use them for the energy they give off. Everything on this planet pushes and pulls, the tides go in and out, the sun rises and then it sets, we wake and we sleep. You have the hollywood concept of what your relationship is suppose to be like. There will be high moments and low moments, there will be moments in which you push together and moments in which you push apart. What goes up comes down, what pushes must always pull. These are the laws of nature. You have to learn how to operate within it. You're hoping for something that exists outside of it. You have to find the balance between to two, you're leaning to far in one direction.

But great. Move on. Seems like what you should be doing anyway. Women don't behave the way you want them to act just because you want them to behave that way. They aren't machines.

There are principles that have to be followed.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2015 9:16 pm 
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Even though the question is answered, and the answer is you shouldn't give a crap about who else she is seeing or what she is doing with her time, I'll share what I've found about the sex thing;

It really depends on the girl. You have to realize every person has a completely different upbringing/exposed to/learns/believes/sees the world in different ways. I've dated girls that are my age [27] and still virgins, and not planning on sex until they are married! I even saw one for a while that was a virgin at 25 and (not that she was against it) but she never FELT ready to do it with a guy. Those were her words.

And well then there's the opposite of the spectrum girls that will jump on nearly anything that approaches. I think many factors come into play - like how hot the girl is. The hotter the girl the more selective they are about who they have sex with bc they get so many offers. It's only logical.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2015 4:23 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Its always the girls that we like most that seem to give us the hardest time when it comes to developing an LTR and you know why that is? Because we put them on a pedestal, they sense it, and then treat us accordingly. Whatever she wanted from you, she has already gotten, so she has no need to give you what you want, because you've already giving her ALL that she wants. Which is why she is playing it so distance.

After reading that man.. Its clear, women make time for what they want to make time for. When a girl likes you, she will find a way to see you. Now if thinks you'll stick around whether she sees you or not, whats her motivation for seeing you? You're going to be there anyway. Whats in it for her? Why not see a guy who won't be there and keep his attention, rather than seeing a guy who subtly shows that he will still pursue you whether you see him or not.

I also don't understand what you mean by not wanting to marry a girl you "picked up". I'm completely myself when picking up girls. I'm not a fan of these routines, tie dyed wigs, and magic tricks. I'm good enough all by myself, and so are you.

You're far too invested in someone that hasn't shown you enough yet. You're just influenced by this fantasy you have created in your own head. NO one sees it but you. She doesn't, I don't, and neither does the guy that will have a one night stand with her and never talk to her again.

Snap out of it. You have to train yourself to be willing to walk, and thats the only way you'll be able to maintain yourself when you encounter girls that you truly like. Once you make it clear that they've gotten you and you require nothing else, they will stop doing anything to keep you.

This isn't a movie man.
Well I have walked now at this point. I stopped texting and if there's no more mutual seeking from her then I am going to assume it's over. I mean you're absolutely right, but see that in and of itself is a disqualifier for me. If I have to play hard to get to get a girl then she's not mature. Plain and simple. I am not of the school of thought that all girls need to feel like they should chase a guy in order to keep their attention in him. The exact opposite is the way it should be. It's about mutually sharing the same feelings not push and pull. You can philosophize all you like about push and pull, but if you push and pull to start a relationship chances are you're going to have to push and pull to maintain a relationship and that just means neither of you are mature. Ultimately if you have to ignore a girl in order for her to fall for you it means she's not looking for love, it means she's looking for a guy to chase.
It has nothing to do with playing hard to get, its all about maintain a level of independence. From what you have said, the moment you run into a woman you like you begin to lean on them for your own happiness. You become unhappy when they aren't behaving in the ideal way you see fit. You become a burden and that in itself is not attractive. This is why they don't want to be around you as often because emotionally you drain them. They would much rather be with someone offering them a part of themselves and not trying to use them for the energy they give off. Everything on this planet pushes and pulls, the tides go in and out, the sun rises and then it sets, we wake and we sleep. You have the hollywood concept of what your relationship is suppose to be like. There will be high moments and low moments, there will be moments in which you push together and moments in which you push apart. What goes up comes down, what pushes must always pull. These are the laws of nature. You have to learn how to operate within it. You're hoping for something that exists outside of it. You have to find the balance between to two, you're leaning to far in one direction.

But great. Move on. Seems like what you should be doing anyway. Women don't behave the way you want them to act just because you want them to behave that way. They aren't machines.

There are principles that have to be followed.
Ah man, ya know you're getting kind of preachy for no reason. I know all that. All it was was I got a crush because I'm not used to dating this hot of a girl. Usually the girls I date are around 5-6's. She's a solid 8-8.5 in my book. I just got caught up in her looks that's all. I got a crush and I got too buttery with her. I understand now that I should have been more solid. So don't blanket this one experience as how I always interact with women. But at the same time I feel like she did play a game. She left me out to dry. I mean she would text a lot after I first got her number and then I think she noticed that I really wanted to hear from her and it turned her off. That right there tells me it's a game with her. She puts guys to the test and I don't like girls like that. It's hard to explain but I think you're giving her too much credit.

But I know what you're talking about and where you're going with this. I'm not a rookie bro. I just had a weak moment and I'm taking it as a learning experience. Honestly I learned that she's kind of shallow. I met a girl this last week and she was way deeper than this girl, although not as attractive. I mean, if it's a game to a girl. And I know this game man. It's not as deep as you think it is. She's really just looking for a guy that plays hard to get. She's immature. I could tell that about her as she was doing this to me. She wants a guy that the other girls want. A guy that's not gonna text her back right away. And she basically lied to me too. I mean she really acted like she was interested. But then when I payed a lot of attention to her she pulled away. So it was a game. I'm not feelign that dude. I like girls who really pay attention to me and show me in a mutual way that they're interested in me.


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