For more of the background of this girl look at my other post viewtopic.php?t=190562

Alright, so as of now we have had sex about 6 times. The last time she said she wants to stop for a month. She has said similar things in the past with the reason being she wanted to work through some stuff with her ex, etc. Those times never lasted the entire month before she instigated something. We have already been talking about after this "1 month break". She has talked about outfits she is thinking about wearing and has sent me pics.

She hides our "realtionship" because she sees it as only a FWB and doesn't want to look like a slut, but we hang out, eat out together, sleep over, and other things.

The other day she told asked me if she could honest with me and I replied, "of course" She told me that if I was to asked her to be in a relationship me she would have said no. I had assumed that already and just replied, "Yeah, that's what I figured." in a plain matter of fact tone. She said that she was afraid of commitment and thought she would cheat on anyone she was in a relationship with right now. She also said that should could easily just use me for sex and didn't want to. She said that I am the only guy she has been intimate with since her ex. She also said that even with all the things she liked about me, there were a couple of things that she didn't think she could live with if she was with me. She wouldn't tell me what they were. She said they were her preferences and nothing bad and other women may like them. There was another guy she had mentioned thinking was cute in the past and she asked if I would be mad if she went over to his house. I asked what they would be doing. She said she wasn't sure what would happen. I replied that I wouldn't be mad, as we aren't together, but that I wouldn't be overjoyed. She said that's good that I wouldn't be mad.

She tells me things all the time that she likes. She says she actually enjoys sex with me, in contrast to usually getting bored. She has complimented almost every part of my body at some point and says how sweet and caring I am. She also says I am funny and we get along well.

Right now, I am in a weird position. I enjoy things as they currently are, but I would much prefer a real relationship. I was thinking my best course of action is to go cold. It seems as of recently she has transformed me into the pursuer, with all the she would tell me no stuff. She obviously knows that I want more out of this than FWB. Is this the correct action for me to take? If so, I have some questions. We work together and she usually finds me on break and we talk. I assume that is still fine? How should I go about going cold? Should I just not message her until she messages me and then make it short? If she wants to hang out should I accept it, deny it, or just accept it, but rush through whatever she wants? For example, she had mentioned needing someone to help her cut her hair. I told her I would help. I said to bring the stuff over to my house and I'd cut it and she could go home. Normally, I would say I'd go to her house, she could stay over for awhile, or we would go eat afterward. Is this good or should I have just said she needed to find someone else? How long should I maintain that stance? Lastly, if going cold is not the correct approach, what would you recommend.

Thank you for your time. I greatly appreciate it.

Your getting clingy and needy, that wasn't the deal Bro. Distract yourself. Get interested in someone else as soon as can. It’ll take the option of falling for them out as long as you’re interested in someone else.

That's what she's doing.

Remember how it ends. Both of you were to eventually stray apart. One of you end up having an affair or one of you starts in another relationship and that can get really messy. Pick the first option.

You can't turn this into a relationship, it's to late. You tossed all your cards on the table.
Yes, only interact for one reason. One goal.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

So, I've done messed it up. That's sad, but I guess I just need to learn from this. Any recommendations on what I should have done differently? I also have a question for clarification. What is this one reason/goal that I should interact with her for?

I think you're entirely overthinking this situation.

You want more than just a FWB's relationship, than you have to speak up and lay that on the table. Whats wrong with speaking up confidently and letting her know that you are looking to be in a relationship eventually - with your reasons. If not with her than with someone else. You don't want to play this "go cold" manipulative game to coax into doing what you want. What type of relationship do you think that would breed upon its success?

You're being too accepting. Put what you want first. If a relationship is something you want, make that clear, and if she's not interested in that with you, then you can take it for what it is or move onto someone thats willing to give you what you want.

P.S.

Nice to see that worked out for you. Looks like i was right.

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Sex

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Well, I went direct with it and things seemed to be working out good. She didn't want a relationship still, but she said she was worried that us getting together so soon would make it obvious that she cheated on her ex and didn't want that to happen. I accepted that answer for the time being, but we continued to hang out as normal.
However, last Friday things got weird. She didn't really hang out with me much and we had little arguments often. They were mostly over small things and she told me that she was PMSing and was sorry.
On Tuesday, I went over to her house and everything seemed to be going good, but I started looking for a picture and she wanted to look through my pictures. We were in a room with her sister and there were naked pictures of my target, which she had sent me, so I said no. She pressed even harder later on. I said no. She asked if I had other women on there and I said I didn't know. On a side note, I should have said something else, but too late now. I really didn't care if she looked at my pictures, but her sister had sent me a picture back before I had decided I liked either of them that was seductive, some clothing was see through. I thought if she seen that she might get the wrong idea and thing I was involved with her sister currently.
After that she told me that she thought she could trust me, but that I'm just like all the other guys. She was very cold with me that night at work and the next day. She did tell me that she was mad at me, but wouldn't tell me everything. She said the picture ordeal was part of it, but not the main part.
She called yesterday because she was supposed to come over and return a pressure cooker I let her use. She accused me of seeing other women while I was seeing her. I said what makes you think that? She said I just know! She cancelled the bringing of the pressure cooker, but I told her I wanted to sit down and talk and she sent me a message that she was on her way.
Once she got here she told me that she didn't want to talk or see me anymore, not even as friends. I asked for the reason, but she refused to give me one. We talked for a bit and she started saying some of the things she didn't like about me. She mentioned that we were too different at first, but then started relating my cocky and funny attitude to an ex. She also mentioned how I never said "thank you" or replied "you too" to "have a good day". Then she went into times her exes had failed her. She was crying and close to me. After a little bit she said maybe after some time, like a year, we could be friends. After 2 hours of talking she said that we could be friends. I offered hanging out with her and her sister today, but she said her sister wouldn't want to come, but that she would like to go and would message me. Towards the end before she left she was laying her head next to my face and rubbing up against my face and then we kissed. We kissed several more times before she left. She asked if I kissed my friends and I said special ones, with a grin. As she was about to leave she said we can't be doing this in public places, which we never did. I said this isn't public. She said like only in the car and almost said my house, but then said she wouldn't be coming over to my house anymore. I said friends don't go to other friends houses? That entire conversation was the most normal and comfortable one we had had all week. We didn't argue or anything. She called me that night and had a normal conversation with me like we normally do and she said she would see me tomorrow and called me babe.
I'm sure I missed some of that and maybe even have some out of order because a lot happened and it happened fast. I just wanted to get peoples' thoughts on here. I feel a little like she is worried about hurting me with her ex situation and thinks the best thing to do is to distance herself from me, but doesn't really want to.

So many red flags and a lack of paragraphs...Just enjoy the casual sex whilst you still can before she end it entirely.

The problem is YOU are monogamous with a fuck buddy. She is fucking other guys in her spare time (despite what she leads you to believe)

There is no foundation to your frame. You basically want to get her in a relationship to prevent her from fucking other guys lol. That's a weak frame as it gets. Not a basis for a fruitful relationship.

If you were actively chasing new girls, living life abundantly and not relying on happiness from one particular girl...you wouldn't of made a thread and seek advice.

She will get bored soon, you really don't want to be in that dry area where you have no girls to scratch your itch. Meeting girls is so much easier when you have a couple of them you're seeing. Girls
Can smell competiton ..And you become less needy.

Ironically, girls like this want to get into a relationship with a guy that she knows has other options other than herself. That is the best way to get into a relationship when you're an attractive guy that is in demand.

Read my sig link

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She's clearly not only dealing with you.

You can take that how you will and deal with the situation from there.

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Why are you not fucking the sister?

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Oh and this ^

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