He and I met 7 months ago and it was an extremely passionate relationship, but recently he’s become more aloof and less responsive to my texts. Right now I am more or less trying to match his lower intensity level by not contacting him as much and also using a kind of push-pull technique, but I would like to know if anyone has any other useful tips, techniques, or advice on how I can remedy this thing.

I’d appreciate real answers and not advice that I should “forget him” or “get rid of him" or "it can't be done."

Thank you!

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Female user here.

Hi there,

Welcome to the forum.

Probably not the response you're looking for but when I pull away and become uninterested and unresponsive there's a reason... And it's another women.

Just my 2 cents.

Seduction tricks meant for women will not work on men. The nature is different, unless you're dealing with a feminine man.

If a guy isn't responding to you he's most likely moved on. You could wait and hit him up in a month and start fresh though.

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"Keep your head up in the sky, you just a baby."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HccL8jUIIWU - Adoration of the Magi Lupe Fiasco

Thanks. I figure there must be another woman involved. But I also figure there must be ways to kind of remedy this -- not by exactly using male PUA techniques, maybe. But something.

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Female user here.

Matching his intensity is definitely NOT the way to go. Us guys, whether we are willing to admit it or not, like our egos fed. You lowering your intensity will not feed his ego.

Other than having passion in the beginning and you lowering your intensity, you didn't really tell us how YOU are around him. What makes you a keeper?

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Get busy. Go out with your girlfriends, flirt with dudes, do you. Have a life outside of him.

These aren't seduction tips. You've been together for a long time. If you pull away a bit he'll feel it. Jack is right that guys want their egos fed, but overfeeding it won't do you good. Stop feeding it for a while and he'll slowly start to starve and come for more.

At the same time there may be another women in his life. Whether he just met her and is intrigued or he's already commited to the idea of her we can't know, but either way it's irrelevant, same advice applies. Do you.

Don't just passively try to play games. If you're sitting at home pretending to be busy it will have little to no effect. If you actually make yourself busy you'll be authentic.

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My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Thanks for your tips, guys.

Well, I've just been texting as I feel like it. That's about once or twice a week. He's been pretty good at replying these days. Then, last night I told him I was taking pole dancing classes, and one thing led to another and we started sexting. I ended it early, because I felt like I didn't want to go through with a whole sexting session because it would be like I was giving in or something. I thought that was a good sign that he was very responsive, but although he still finds me sexually attractive, it doesn't mean at this point he wants to get back in a relationship.

As for what makes me a keeper -- well, I thought that would have been conveyed to him in our seven months together (we are both intelligent, have the same sense of humor, both like learning new things, both very charming, had great great sex, etc). He used some lame excuse like "we don't share the same values" as a reason to break up with me (shortly after I made my first post here, he broke up with me), but I don't really buy that. Whatever. What I'm guessing he was feeling I was too intense and needed to pull away.

Anyway, I haven't texted him since I said good night mid-way through our sexting. That was two nights ago. Not sure if I should continue to text him when I feel like it, or if I should do a no-contact period after this.

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Female user here.

I'll say the same thing to you that I would say to a guy. He's an ex for a reason. Don't go backwards.

When I asked about what made you a keeper is more about how you made him feel. If you want a man to stay with you, appeal to his masculinity with your femininity. If women understood the power of femininity then they would have a hard time getting rid of men.

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

Hi JackZero,

Thanks. I think I'm extremely feminine already. I do my hair, I wear make-up, I cook for my man, I'm not argumentative, I'm very agreeable and very supportive and all that. But do you have anything else in mind that makes a woman even more feminine/appealing to masculinity?

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Female user here.

I feel sorry for you. Although there are similarities between us, the core of initial attraction lies mostly in different areas for males and females;

Female's value = almost entirely appearance
Male's value = mostly income potential/personality/social ability etc.

You sound like you are attractive. The problem you face is once a guy sees you naked and you have sex, there is nothing left for him to see or experience in that department. What will keep you together is past that i.e. common connections, which it sounds like you had.

The problem with relationships are they lack variety. Anyone with a brain, even a mildly advanced one, will eventually get bored... The stats prove that there are only rare exceptions to that rule. It's hard to do, but maybe it's possible to mix things up a bit to where you don't get bored but I've never seen it.

The two people have to just completely know down 5 levels into their conscious that the other person they are with is the ONLY person they were MEANT to be with and therefore not NEED anyone else. You should try inception on him.

But seriously; you really felt like you had a lot in common with this guy? You said the sex was great, but did you fuck his brains out? Love to suck his dick and ride it and all? I will completely lose interest in if my partner is not as into as I am. BTW do you work out?

Does this guy know pickup and how did you find this forum lol?

My guess is there is a mismatch somewhere other than physical.

Hey masterm1ne,

Yeah, I definitely fucked his brains out, and he fucked mine out. And sucking dick, yeah, I'm pretty passionate about that, too. There was no problem in the sex department, which I guess is why when I told him I was taking pole dancing classes, it turned him on pretty much immediately. I do work out.

What do you mean by trying inception on him?

I did feel like I had a lot in common with this guy. We definitely laughed a lot when we were together. So it was a really huge shock to me when he broke up with me. He also referenced some argument we had had a few weeks before the break-up.

Oh yeah, he's also 24 and I'm 31. Shit, I guess that explains everything right there.

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Female user here.

Haha I actually told him about pick-up. He didn't know about it. Even though I have no problem picking up men (or women), I just like reading PUA.

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Female user here.

Maybe his is being truthful with you about his value system or he's to afraid to tell you that he's not ready to settle down yet.

When I speak of your femininity, you seem to have described feminine qualities. The thing is all women that try to appeal to a man cook and do their make-up, etc but that's normally them trying to demonstrate value. The feminine quality is deeper than that though. It is such a genuine quality it goes below the surface level. Men feel like men when they are around genuine feminine women. There is something empathic about her. There is something sensitive about her. There is something compassionate about her. There is such a sweetness that can't be faked.

There are very few women of femininity just as there very few masculine men. But femininity will encourage a man to be masculine, just as masculinity encourages femininity.

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Inception is a movie, you should watch it. It was a bad joke... (spoiler - the movie is about planting ideas in peoples subconscious by invading their dreams).

Yea... you didn't mention that age difference and IMO it does make a big difference... as we age and have different experiences, we all eventually figure out what is most important to us (generally speaking personality > looks - of course you still want an attractive partner) and what we like most. At that stage in a males life he's likely (esp if not a PUA) not experienced enough to be able to realize you're a great woman and he can commit to you.

Just like you said before, one argument and the excuse he used to break up are more or less just easy to say, when the issue is probably more complex. Females do that to us too.

As you already are doing, just keep in contact from a distance. Every now and then piquing for interest. Of course there are no guarantees he will return and you might have to wait a while. I have had a woman come back into my life after 2 years of no contact. As someone said focus on yourself and stay sexy!

Gotcha. Well, I'm definitely compassionate and sweet. Sensitive -- sometimes. I guess he thought I was too strong. Not strong in a masculine way. Just in an independent, I make my own destiny kind of way. But whatever. I like the femininity that I do have, and if that's not something that appeals to him, then I'm starting to care less and less at this point.

Thanks everyone for your comments and suggestions.

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Female user here.