Hey all,

So as the title clearly states. I've been thinking of contacting an old friend of mine of 6 or so years that I used to talk to and hangout pretty often with. It wasn't until last year I began to develop feelings for her as my perspective changes on our relationship as friends. I wrote a thread about this last year and what happened was that I ended up cutting her off in order to maintain my sanity. She couldn't reciprocate a sexual and emotional relationship and I decided to not speak with here there after. It's been a year now and I've been tossing the idea of reaching out to her due to how I feel now.

How do I feel now? Well a bit guilty because not only did I loose a good friend but I was selfish in that I was only concerned about my feelings and not hers. (she got a divorce and may have been a bit crazy in the head about it). Since this happened we've maintained our friendship through Instagram and Facebook. We used to ride bikes heavily together and that was one thing that we enjoyed along with other things like music, walks and the like. I liked her new bike photo on her Instagram last month and she liked my photo the other day of my Yoga pose that she saw on my Facebook.

Long story short I was thinking of reaching out in several was but don't know which is best to my benefit. Facebook Message, Text, Call, Email (Not sure I have her email). I was going to say something along these lines but can always use some input...

It may have seemed like I've disappeared but I didn't mean for it. But looking back, it bothered me that I couldn't be with you the way I wanted. I can say for sure that I was selfish and didn't take much of your feelings into consideration. Anyways if you understand my perspective maybe we can hang out sometime soon. Because I do value your friendship. Hope all is well.

Not sure if this is the proper way to go about this or just leave it to bury. It's been over my head lately and my guts telling me I should reach back for closure.

Is this the girl?
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=185266&start=45

That message you're suggesting sending sort of smells of desperation to me... It's also really passive. It's a drawn out apology with a "please forgive me and see me again" thrown in.

I sure wouldn't send it.

Closure is for women, dude.

This sounds like the post of a guy thats bored, lonely, with no woman in his life and with no drive, courage, or confidence to actually get out their and meet new people. There is no way I would encourage you to go backwards to hanging out with this girl especially considering the post that charles put below. I'm going to ahead and guess its the same girl.

This also sounds like you want another shot at getting her intimately, after feeling "sorry" for trying to.

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I gotta say... Not being able to hang out with a chick because she doesn't share your feelings for her is one of the most desperate crazy things I can imagine. If you're that fragile that you need to run from someone because you have created a relationship in your head that isn't there and you're sad when you're in their company now...something is wrong with you. I say this to the OP and all other friendzone dudes. Avoiding a friend because you're crazy just let's you keep being crazy and fragile. I can kinda understand an ex gf but to develop strong feelings one sided like this to the extent you need to cut a friendship...thats creepy as hell. I find that's like having a crush on Taylor Swift and you can't listen to her music anymore because she doesn't love you. Hit her up apologize and hang out with her if that's what you enjoyed. Stop developing these crushes that you can't accept a girl doesn't like you. All you're doing by cutting a friend off is hiding your creepiness instead of fixing it and moving on.

The problem is you're desperate. Cutting contact with her will not make u not be desperate. Accepting that she doesn't like you and able to still chill with a cool female...that makes you not needy to get a specific girl
. .. Chill...accept their are other fish in the sea. Cutting a chick off just means you're but hurt and that emotionally fragile that you can't accept a girl doesn't like you.

Yes exactly! In fact this is true and that's why I'd like to reach out. However, I'm not desperate... I've actually met other women. I do think the way I acted with her at the time was completely ridiculous and reflecting on my actions now. Looking back it was a pretty immature move on my part. I'm not looking to hookup with her again but I'd like to retain the friendship that we once have. She likes my photos on FB and I feel it's a bit awkward about that as well. I though a message of some sort to break the ice would make things smooth on my end.

Was thinking of proposing something like " Hey! I'm planning a bike ride and would love for you to join (as missing my old friend.) I can even add "I promise I'll not fall for you again'... Or at least I'll try not to.

Don't bomb me for this, it's off the top of my head and doesn't have to be an invite anywhere. No need to be so serious about it, just calm and collective.

We weren't together at any point we were good friends long before I became attracted to her. Only to screw things up and make false relationships in my head I cut her off. The message I put before is agreeable, it comes off as desperate and wanting to rekindle. I think if I were to ready out it would be a simple 'Hey, hows it going?' sort of attitude.

UPDATE:

My friend called me today. She wanted to see how I was doing and claimed that she wanted to ask if she can use me as a reference for a job haha. Anyway, I called her back after receiving her message shortly afterwards and we chatted for a bit to catch up. I mentioned that we should get together and she insisted that we should! I then asked her schedule and she said Friday may be a good day but she has to check with her mom. I then said cool, Friday I'll be in the city so just let me know if you want to link up, we'll do something fun.

Not sure exactly if she is really trying to meet up but either way that's fine by me. This time I don't think I will try to jump in and ultimately project feelings with her anymore as I once did. I'm actually seeing this other girl now and went on two dates so far and things are going pretty good as I like this new girl. I'm actually going to call her tomorrow to invite her out with me on Wednesday. Well hopefully my friend won't flake out this time around.

Dude... You're being a reference for her. She's going to be nice to you.

Original advice holds.

You are seeing what you want to see. Grasping at straws.

Let her go. There are other women.

This is a pickup forum. Abundance.

Haha true thanks

This made me want to throw up. Get it together man.

There are sooo many other girls out there. Digging one up from 6 years ago is just outrageous. Leave her in the past where she belongs.