My Journal - Massive Urgency and Leverage to Change!



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PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2015 5:36 am 
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FR: I fucked up(?)

Argh, so I just posted a really detailed FR but my browser froze and I lost it ALL.

Let me give you the cliff notes of what went down:

I go to a language exchange class first and get two numbers.. those places are really, really easy but the ratios usually aren't very good.. and it's hard to move tables. Mostly guys, but they're usually nerds that just increase your social value. The other downside is that the same girl who gives you her number will probably give it to at least two other guys in the same room.. it's not really a big deal.. but still kinda incestuous and strange.

Anyway, to the main event!

I went out by myself to one of my favourite bars in town, the one in the city that is remotely busy. As soon as I enter I spot this HUGE african guy. Think of the worst guy you could meet in prison while you are bent over, it was like that except he was at least 7 feet tall and jacked as shit. Long story short: I steal the girl he entered the bar with by asking where he was from, disregarding his aggressive comments for long enough until the cute asian chick he was with disappeared with me out of the bar. The dude actually backed down like a little girl, I wanted to slap him for being such a pussy. The girl he was with turned out to be a friend or something but he wanted to tap that so bad. Haha.

Anyway, so I pull this girl.. and right from the start.. well even before I start talking to her I guess.. I deal with an endless amount of shit. Not in terms of shit tests or non-compliance by coming with me.. but she had a boyfriend and had just broken up with him.. blah blah some other shit. I persisted and every time she would just deflect my advances.

I think she ended up owning me hard. I gave her all the attention and validation she wanted, and she didn't have to work for it at all.

The short version is that I ended up in her bed, sleeping, and that's all. Could think of worse ways to spend a Wednesday night but kinda irritating.

And when I say I persisted.. I tried everything.

Conclusion and insights:

First of all, that night was fucking awesome. I am getting so good at this shit. It's just these little tweaks I need to make so I don't waste my time. That girl really wanted to fuck me.

It was a very valuable reference to get in field. This girl was so attracted and compliant.. but would refuse to even kiss me. It seems obvious in retrospect.. but she was giving heavy SIGNS that it was on.. which is confusing.. because I guess I should have been looking at her actions instead. That's insight #1

Next, I didn't remember to SCREEN her for the boyfriend within the first few minutes. So many girls will just sit and chat with you forever even if they're married. They will lap up your attention and have zero intention of taking any futher than that. Screen hard. From now on I will simply walk away from girls with boyfriends.. because it's kinda not worth the hassle.. and it causes major logical roadblocks in her mind when it comes to fucking.. Next.

Here's a more subtle epiphany which I feel is a major weakness in my game.. I am way too positive with my expressions.. and I give girls so much attention, praise and validation when they haven't earned it. It's not in an over the top way.. I just say whatever I'm feeling. 'You are so sexy..' 'You are pretty smart..' And combined with negative expressions/negs as well.. so it's still balanced.

But because my vibe is SO loud, outgoing, dominant, positive, and kinda retarded.. it's too much positivity.. which often kills the sexual tension. Instead, I am going to be more negative.. still being myself.. but will refuse to use any positive expressions, opinions or observations at all towards the girl. I will compliment her ONCE when I am qualifying her and that's it. I am too friendly and accommodating already. That's just the baseline of my personality.. and it's awesome.. but it goes unchecked sometimes and fucks up my sets because she thinks I am too easy to impress.. when it's really not like that but whatever.

Other key point is that I listen to much to a girls shit. I don't fucking care. Why are you telling me this shit. I don't even know you! It's actually a lack of social intelligence on their part.. because anyone who is socially aware would not ramble on about boring shit and disregard the obvious social cues to be quiet.

The point is to be calibrated with the girls, at the moment I am just fully assuming myself and there's zero percision or tactics.. It's just me.. which is great.. but I should start adjusting my game more to who I am with. Does she like it when I'm nice.. or an asshole? Even if I am a nice guy.. I know that I am not going to fuck this girl if I don't be almost abusive.. and then she will never see or appreciate the nicer side to me anyway.. so just be the asshole. I have no problems being an asshole either. Being respectful and kind comes more neutral to me though.

Peace,

_________________
Man's futile search for meaning, unity, and clarity in the face of an unintelligible world devoid of God and eternal truths or values. Does the realization of the absurd require suicide? Camus answers: "No. It requires revolt."


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 17, 2015 4:47 am 
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FR+ Two dates, one realisation.

Let's begin.. from last weekend.

This girl invites me over to her place, alone.. to hang out.. in her bedroom.

I met her maybe a few weeks ago and we have been texting a bit since the meet up.

Previously she dropped the idea that she doesn’t know if I’m serious about her not, she seems like a low self-esteem type of chick actually, which does not surprise me.

So, nothing really happened.. again. I keep getting so close!!! Fucking frustrating.

Again, this girl really wanted to be reassured that we are a team, that we have a shared conspiracy together. I didn’t do that, even though she was dropping hints throughout the interaction: ‘This is how I’ll rationalize fucking you.’

I didn’t make her feel special, and left that night feeling extremely frustrated. The door is always open with that girl, but really I don’t like her enough to commit that much time. I could be on dates with less insecure girls who are open to casual sex, so I’ll let this one pass I think.

--

I approached a girl after work at one of my favorite spots yesterday, learning from my mistakes from last weekend. I focused on creating that ‘Bubble’ of conspiracy between us.

Talking to her as if I had known her for years, projecting future dates, asking silly hypothetical scenarios such as ‘Have you ever..’ and ‘What if?’ It sounds strange but these really do increase the intimacy and ‘Comfort.’

I just went up and started talking, asking nothing from her in return. I didn’t ask her any questions about herself, but instead focused on giving value in the form of my presence and creating that shared reality.

I got her number and left with plans to meet up again. This girl was really cute too, easily in the 8 range.

One thing I am trying to increase my date to number ratio is to wait 2 days after I get the digits, text between 6 and 8 pm when she’s probably not occupied with something, and keep it purely logistical.

The set ran a lot smoother and I actually felt more connected to her using these techniques.

A big part of what I am working on now is to simply assume value and attraction. This is talked about a lot, but guys say they assume they’ll ike her but still consciously ‘try’ to impress her by making her laugh, being shocking, negging or whatever.

I have removed the attraction ‘Step’ out of my game and instead put it as an understanding of my frame; that she is a shy, socially disadvantaged girl who desperately wants to bang me. I just need to make her feel special so she can rationalize what she wants to do anyway.

There is no need to try or ‘Game’ her because she already gets wet when talking to me. She just wants to be a real experience that’s personal to her, not feeling like just another chick.. even if that’s not really true.. she just wants to feel as if it is.

I feel like I can’t fully explain the above any better, but that concept is super deep and important. It’s why when I wing with my friends the girl’s attention and need for approval will be on ME even though they may have flashier moves or better at humor. They need to ‘try’ to ‘game’ her. I am just
Relaing and expressing myself. It’s a weird distinction but it’s something which just clicked for me a few days ago. I hope I can articulate this more clearly in the future :D

--

I went on a date last night with a cute Asian girl, very shy but attentive.

There were long periods of time when there was silence, kind of like a passive shit test.. but she was still invested in the conversation by asking questions, and showing visible IOIs.

I will probably see her again sometime this week.

Tonight I am going to the language exchange class to see how the ratios are this week.

Talk soon,

_________________
Man's futile search for meaning, unity, and clarity in the face of an unintelligible world devoid of God and eternal truths or values. Does the realization of the absurd require suicide? Camus answers: "No. It requires revolt."


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 27, 2015 5:25 pm 
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Yo,

So, I'm typing this as I'm about to ask this cute girl's number that works at the internet cafe that I frequent. Recently I have been slacking off approaching for the past week. The constant grind of approaching gets to you after awhile. I've learned so much already and can sense a shift, however small, inside of me. Normalizing human socialization has always been something that has come at a high price to me. I've had to learn this mechanically, over and over to get this stuff down, and my introspective nature does nothing to curb this either. I am just as happy sitting here, talkign to no one, as I am talking with a gorgeous girl at a bar. I'm no less happy or more happy depending on the situation, which is largely, if not totally, subject to the fluidity of change.

I can't settle down now. I can't find that one nice girl that wants me to be her boyfriend and get married, at least not yet. Part of my soul is still crying to be released, to have the kind of experiences which will make a man. The hardship and emotional trauma of game burns away all that is not true to you and gifts you purity in exchange. The spiritual journey brings yourself into alignment with who you really are, instead of purusing a notion of egotistical completion. I realise the more I go deeper into this, that I always was, and always will be, enough. And it's more about convincing your mind of your own value than attempting to convey value to others. Case in point, the biggest sticking point I see in the people I go out regularly in Melbourne is that they do not escalate, and they can not make the girl feel special enough for them to be comfortable sleeping with them. Men are too focused on developing and displaying value that it is INSECURE; they can't accept that a girl likes them before they give their amazing story or funniest routine. They are inherently coming from a place of deficency. It coudl have been true if they were extremely shy or unattractive growing up and they have learned that how they can get approval is by essentially playing some kind of entertaining avatar to get people to like them, and now they have all this positive social reinforcement to keep acting this way, except they are not getting laid. Being funny, by itself, does not get you laid, neither does being able to tell good stories, or knowing how to do magic.. CONVEYING VALUE does not work in itself. This is a big misconception.. because it is something which should already be ASSUMED in your frame as opposed to a separate step of the pick up. The pick up then becomes something fun,, because you are not coming form a place of deficiency.. and you can focus on creating that romatnic connection and escalating.. two things hwich will actually get you laid.

I could write you a hundred page essay on why this is true, and it still won't change the minds of those who have different beliefs. Guys will nod and accept this mentally, then go out and attempt to convey value.. which really is the same as qualifying yourself, except on a less obvious level. If you really were this ultra-high status person, like a prince or a celebrity.. you wouldn't NEED to be funny, entertaining or interesting for people to like you.. they will stimply love you because of who you are, so by needing an attraction step in game by using the classic methods.. you are indirectly fuckign yourself from ever playing in that league.. because again.. it's coming inherently from a place of insecurity, not entitlement and intrinsic value.

A big part of my personality I am working on is to watch and correct myself when I'm about to convey value, through jokes or interesting facts, stories, opinions. I am simply assuming this as part of the interaction. Now this doesn't mean to abandon common sesne, if the set is about to fail because she's getting bored then I will spike it just enough so that it doesn't become self-defeating.. but leanring not to HAVE to convey value in order to get sex and attraction for me is where the game is really played. Think of it this way.. she can like you because you're funny, entertaining and high value.. or she can like you because of who you are inherently as a MAN. Femine energy vs masculine energy ALA David D. That's where true masculinity and manhood is rooted.. and from what i have seen so far.. by not conveying any value at all.. paradoxically.. you are communicating a shit ton of value.. because you are acting NORMAL, not high energy and weird, which is what pretty girls are used to, which only feeds into her frame more 'look at how weird this guy is acting, he must really like me. i'm the shit.' but when you can just be normal.. and almost kinda.. socially disadvantaged.. she will see a non-reactive MAN looking her sincerely in the eyes.. and the value and attraction will be automatic. Better yet.. acting just normal will threaten her frame and provoke shit tests and flirting, which will give her more honest signals.. while still maintaining that steady masculinity which she knows she won't find in any other man in her social circle.

Damn, that was a good entry. I am going to go now, get this number, then go home to hit up Day game.

Talk again soon!

_________________
Man's futile search for meaning, unity, and clarity in the face of an unintelligible world devoid of God and eternal truths or values. Does the realization of the absurd require suicide? Camus answers: "No. It requires revolt."


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2015 4:17 am 
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So before I head out to lunch I want to make another quick introspective post, aimed directly at newbies, and partially directed at my ‘Old’ Self.

Before you begin talking to girls during the day, or a night clubs, you image that having the willpower to approach as some kind of super power.

You believe that pretty girls are angelic blessings which should be worshipped.

But then you talk to these.. PEOPLE, actual human beings.. and find out that they are just as afraid of being approached as you are approaching them.. in fact they are probably twice as nervous if not more.. they have ‘Getting approached anxiety’ as well as entitlement issues too. They stay with guys they shouldn’t they date down, they sell themselves short.. just like you do. The only difference is that she’s hot, and in a western culture, the hot girls have the value.

But really pay attention to what these girls like to do in their spare time, (facebook, Instagram, sitting at home, eating junk food, drinking with friends at a bar). Do these things scream HIGH QUALITY to you? Now, I’m not bringing these girls down.. but im showing that these are just human beings
Like everyone else on earth. And they really are not that interesting.. listen to what they talk about.. and you will be very bored fast. I am speaking in general terms here.. but most girls don’t have very interesting lives at all. So many times I have seen a girl literally dragging her heels along the pavement
After being smashed by work, and then I literally make her night, or entire month.. just by approaching.. a certain type of girl, approached in the right way will LOVE you for approaching her in a warm masculine way. Her entire neurology wakes up, and you can see that aliveness in her eyes again.

Even knowing this reality guys still won’t make the first approach. They don’t feel entitled enough to get what they want. Realize that you have been hypnotized like everyone else, including me, to overvalue a girl’s beauty. This is 100% societal conditioning in the western world.

But go to places in Asia as a while male.. and you will be loved, adored, have celebrity status.. so it’s completely fucking arbitrary. One culture values women more.. another values the white male for varying reasons, and it’s not just about money, (Remember Japan, Hong Kong? Foreign guys KILL it there, not just white dudes either.. but because of your perception of value in the eyes of other girls

If you don’t go out, read how little effort most girls put into their dating profiles; it’s often no more than 4 or 5 lines saying the same shit over and over, putting their badly photoshoped photos on display and the men WILL line up to take them out on dates and pay for everything.

And yet, the self-developed man is excepted to bow to these women, who are mostly doing nothing with their lives, riding the cock carousel.

This shit is hilarious if you go deeply into it. It’s so stupid that just because she has a stinky hole between her legs it means she has ‘higher value.’ Socially she has higher value than you, just as two hot girls with fake tits on a pole has tens as much value as a billionaire sitting at a bar. But again, go to Asia
And those same girls will be ECLIPSED by even an average looking white guy.. because it’s just different value systems. You just play within a system which is biased towards women here, and is different in other culture. But that shit doesn’t matter either, because the only people that buy into the idea that women are higher value aren’t fucking those hot girls anyway.

It’s The Wolf that knows that girls wear make up to hide their acne and freakles, that they sometimes need to take a really nasty shit, that the reason why they’re bitchy and test guys incessantly is maybe because.. they are socially retarded.. just like guys! Just because they’re girls it doesn’t mean they get to decide the social rules .That is fucking retarded.. the whole notion of women being higher value, when they have done nothing to earn their value.. is RETARDED, it’s just as absurd as a white man in Asia.. but this is just how it is.

So if this CONCERNS YOU, then stop being a cry baby and hit up, or give up, and live your life with regrets while you pretend you are happy with your pregnant 6 that stopped loving you years ago.

_________________
Man's futile search for meaning, unity, and clarity in the face of an unintelligible world devoid of God and eternal truths or values. Does the realization of the absurd require suicide? Camus answers: "No. It requires revolt."


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2015 11:51 am 
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I have got to be real with myself.

If I don't have a system to hold myself accountable, nothing gets done.

If I don't get in a social mood as soon as I leave the house, I won't approach.

I'm not approaching enough, although the changes are already enormous.

I have amazing potential, but potential is worth shit.

New goal every day: at least 20 sets.

Morning

Afternoon

Evening

Post the field report here.

Lets do this.

_________________
Man's futile search for meaning, unity, and clarity in the face of an unintelligible world devoid of God and eternal truths or values. Does the realization of the absurd require suicide? Camus answers: "No. It requires revolt."


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2015 6:29 pm 
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Quote:
I have got to be real with myself.

If I don't have a system to hold myself accountable, nothing gets done.

If I don't get in a social mood as soon as I leave the house, I won't approach.

I'm not approaching enough, although the changes are already enormous.

I have amazing potential, but potential is worth shit.

New goal every day: at least 20 sets.

Morning

Afternoon

Evening

Post the field report here.

Lets do this.
You're right, potential is worth shit.

That being said, I think you need to define some specificity in the goals you have set and for what purpose you're making the approaches to help YOU hone in on those things you'd like to improve.

Waiting to hear about the first 20 approaches.


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