I am writing in a cafe when I see an HB at the near-by intersection, shoulder-length dyed brown hair, wearing a cute striped shirt, dress and purse. With my coffee in hand, I exit the cafe and walk down the street for a bit before running up to her, tagging her on the shoulder and beginning a conversation. She compliments me on my bravery, and we chat for a bit about her job, hometown, and a music festival that we've both attended nearby her hometown. She asks me what I'm doing in the city, and I respond that I'm going to meet up with a friend and check out the local college library, with her teasing me that I'm also here to meet girls, to which I laughingly respond "That too". Asking for her number, the girl admits she is in a relationship, and I tell her I hope the interaction has made her feel sexy and appreciated regardless, to which she responds warmly before we part ways.



I think a lot of guys avoid doing write-ups about their blow outs because of some sort of pride thing. I rarely get blow-outs (not being arrogant - just true), but that's not to say that they don't happen or that they're not a part of the game. With this post I thought I'd write about a blow out I had today to illustrate that a failed CA can be fun and a good reference experience, showing dudes struggling with AA that the worst-case scenarios they're playing out in their heads are totally irrational. In one of his Men's Room videos, Cajun talked about the Wayne Gretzky quote "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" in relation to game, and I think he has a really good point. Best case scenario with an approach you get a lay, sex buddy or girlfriend, and worst case you make a hot girl feel validated. If you're a guy who truly loves women, there is nothing to lose and everything to gain, with each approach bringing you that much closer to your goal.

Why call it a "blowout" then? Why not call it a successful compliment?

_________________
Game doesn't exist.

Why I put "blowout" in quotation marks, but point taken

The quotes are definitely a good start. More enlightened POV than a lot of posters on here. We have to start changing the language all together though.

As a side-note, I really dug Cajun starting out. He came to PU from the perspective of having experience as an actor. (Not that you should "act" like someone else, but the power that subtext plays in interactions).

_________________
Game doesn't exist.

In calling it a "blowout" I had a video by Jabba in mind where he was politely shut down by a girl but titled the video "Steve Jabba blown out" regardless, so this being one of my first posts I sort of took a page out of his book on that one. I agree with you though, we need to change the language in general to de-stigmatize rejection.

Cajun was one of my favorite PUAs when I began as well. In contrast to other dating coaches who seemed overly steeped in pick-up culture (i.e. Mystery), I felt like he just came across like an interesting, fun to be around guy you might have a beer with. I think the second generation of PUA's who were more advocates of natural game were the ones I identified the most with, pick-up being more about honing yourself into the most attractive version of yourself possible through social exposure and self-actualization as oppose to learning a bunch of gimmicky routines. (Although, in fairness, with things like the "Drug Dealer" routine, Cajun was a bit of both).

I'll rep Cajun Spice any chance I can get. He's solid as all hell.

He opened my eyes on Keys to the VIP. That a guy with very little natural physical gifts can be successful with subtext, confidence and the right attitude.

I tried his "You're adorable, I'm adopting you as my new little sister.. we'll climb trees and drink Kool-Aid" routine before. Girls kept saying it was creepy. Though, I still number closed. I think it was 'creepy' because it was incongruent and they knew I was interested in the girl.

That's funny, I never saw Cajun as a particularly ugly guy - no male model but I definitely always perceived him as having a better natural aesthetic than a lot of other PUAs (e.g. Neil Strauss, RSD Owen). Still, a great takeaway, it is your core belief systems more than anything that ultimately help you to pull the really high quality girls.

and I guess that's a case of ends justifying the means. Creepy or not you still ended up getting the close, which is ultimately what counts.

Yeah, if I remember correctly I made a joke about having one of those pens from Men in Black that would make her forget I said that. She was actually one of the better looking girls I've ever pulled.

This x1000. I am personally working on a product that will be one of the first in its kind to merge ideologies into one school of thought that focuses on THIS. If guys spent more time working on themselves and their belief systems, sites like this would be a cheesy thing of the past because everyone would be too busy banging girls for the right reasons. Creepiness arises from your intention not being inline with your communication. Creepiness arises from creepy subtext.

You used a canned line because you wanted it to work and have the chick fuck you (intention). The subtext that you were not conscious of (but she picked up on) was "I feel that I have to use a line that someone else came up with to make you like me".

My suggestion? Throw out canned lines. Immediately. Are they fun? Yes. Do they work? Yes. But what message are you sending to yourself every time it works? I have to go outside of myself to find witty content that girls like.

If you feel like you can't completely trust your success mechanism (subconscious mind) to come up with things to say in the moment because you are new to this, start with incorporating your own canned lines and using them.

The immediate rebuttal people will have to this is: "No human being is truly original. We take bits and pieces of things and integrate them into our own personality". This is how Cajun felt and I actually agree with it as well.

The problem comes into play when you pick up certain things for a desired effect. It is a nuanced point, but critically important. Let me give you an example. I can't remember if I read this or witnessed it first hand, but some chick was being a bitch and a guy said "Who hurt you?" (I might have said it and don't remember). From now own, I will call on that response from time to time. It vibes with my type of humor and I feel like it can be a perfect response in certain situations. However, I don't say this phrase to get a desired response or action from a girl. I don't say it to get laid. I say it because the girl is being a bitch and I want her to slow her roll.

TL;DR
Being the right guy will bring about the right communication (or lines) in the moment if you develop and trust yourself. You should never memorize a line to get laid or get people to like you. It's inherently needy. Cajun is ugly But a genuinely cool guy and not a pick up artist.

_________________
Game doesn't exist.

When you really consider it, there's no such thing as 'Rejection.' You could meet her again in a few months at a bar and end up having sex with her.. so did she really reject you?

Every girl you talk to and don't bang is just unfinished business.

You can make it easier or harder on yourself by changing the labels you use to describe them. Consider the term 'Last minute resistance.' What does that imply? She doesn't want to fuck you.. just yet. Now reframe that word to 'Foreplay'.. and I think that's a lot more intimate.. and thats much closer to the truth.

_________________
Man's futile search for meaning, unity, and clarity in the face of an unintelligible world devoid of God and eternal truths or values. Does the realization of the absurd require suicide? Camus answers: "No. It requires revolt."

Yeah, again through putting "Blowout" in quotes in the title I was trying to lessen the gravitas of an interaction where I took a shot but didn't end up with the ideal outcome to show newbies that, regardless of outcome, a cold approach is always a success.

Raise some good points though, reminds me a bit of some of the stuff Julien Blanc talks about in his seminars. To draw on some real life experience my ex girlfriend was a solid hb9 who initially rejected me. Persevered through that and we ended up dating for 18 months with a banging sex life, so there you go.

Amen bro.

You lost this girl when you fell in to her frame of 'here to meet girls too?' and you agreed. Another reply could've been "well you caught my attention and i wanted to come say hi."

But you're doing well so keep on keeping on.