For starters, my goal is to find an amazing girl to have a serious relationship with.

With that said, I met this girl who is so much like me. She's exactly my type looks wise. We both love spending time with each other. The big issue is that she said she takes relationships VERY SLOW. Here's the background:

Date 1: Drinks at one place then switched venues to a scenic rooftop bar. Ended date by holding her by the waist and ended with a light kiss on the lips and her smiling saying she wants to see me again

Date 2: Comedy club. Lots of laugher and got her back to my place where we kissed some now and then and she cuddled up with me on the couch while we watched something on Netflix. No tongue. Yah I tried. Started to question everything. She didn't seem into it and was content with gentle kisses on the lips for a couple of times. She seemed to enjoy me rubbing her thighs though while she leaned on me and watched tv.

Date 3: Went to go on an adventure to find the best wing joint around. I never take girls I haven't been intimate with on dinners, but I figured it would be memorable since it was like an adventure involving something we both enjoyed and we talked about on the previous date. We ended up going for sushi and sake (My call - she said "are you set on wings" since the place was so far and we were both hungry and ended up meeting later than planned. I said as long as we go for sushi, I'm willing to forego wings) and she offered to split the tab when the check came. I accepted. We never run out of things to say and it's like we've known each other for awhile with how smooth the convo flows. Started walking back to my apt and she locked arms with me as we walked back. We ended up watching Zoolander until 1 AM and again, just some weak ass kisses. I kinda messed up and got visibly frustrated, but smoothed it all over and she gave me the good night kiss when I walked her down to the cab.

Date 4: we went for a long scenic run and that was that.


My question is has anyone been with a girl who takes things ridiculously slow? Am I getting dicked around? I can't imagine how someone who isn't really attracted to someone wouldn't at least make-up. When I flat out asked her what she expected from this, she said she takes things very slow and wants to really get to know someone she has a relationship with and wants to be friends first. I respect her for taking it slow. I mean, I don't want to marry a girl who I can easily get back on the first date. I also am really attracted to her and would like to see us spend more time together. At the same time, I have plenty of other girls I spend time with and my work schedule is pretty insane, so my free time is extremely valuable.

We text a bit each day, maybe 4-5 messages back and forth each day. She's always prompting me with questions so we text more. Heck, as I am writing this she messaged me about something random. I never force the texts and am very good at text game and not coming across as needy and always having her type more. Hell, I am not needy at all. I just feel a powerful attraction towards her and I love the fact she and I are so much alike.

Would love to hear peoples take on this. I plan to just ride it out, but I don't really know what to do at this point. I feel so unmotivated to escalate since she doesn't seem into it. She isn't shy at all, and I believe that if she got to the point where she was ready, she would jump on me and just start making out with me. I just worry that I somehow got friend zoned, although her actions aren't congruent with someone who friendzoned the other person.

Anyways, looking forward to hearing peoples thoughts. Ultimately I like her enough to wait it out, but if she's just looking for someone fun to hang around with until they realize it's not going to the next level and bail, I wan't to cut my losses ASAP.

IMO, it seems like everything that you are doing is a 1st date all over again. Right now you are doing the wine and dine type of dates and of course she's loving it. When are you going to have a night where it starts and ends at your place? At this point I'm not sure if she's feeling you as much as she is the entertainment/activities that you are providing.

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Thanks for the comment. I didn't think about these as being all "first date over and overs", but when you put it that way it makes sense. I'm not afraid to push things...not here to waste my valuable time. We want to do a date we cook for each other and that will start and end at my place.

Can't do that until the following week because I am swamped, but I think at that point if she won't take it further, it's probably time to next her.

It's frustrating because at no point did I "try to be her friend to get her to hang with me". I push it, we touch a bunch and there's no illusion as to my intentions. I thought I was past this whole getting friendzoned thing or letting them string me along. I figured "Cool, a girl that's really making me work for it, this is great". Live and learn I guess.

You didn't strike me as being afraid to push things. It actually sounds like you've done everything correctly on date 2, but that may have put you in your own head when she wasn't reciprocating.

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Yah good point. Basically the TL;DR = she's just not that into you.