So yeah I've been deamed annoyingly overly nice sometimes and I now have this rule I am better off posting so I don't forget . Might be revolutionary or might be stupid and lacking .

Questions you should always ask yourself

The key is to always ask yourself two simple questions :
Q.Am I trying to solve the problems she can solve on her own ?
If it's a no proceed if it's a yes stop before it's too late .
Q.Am I getting her a gift or doing her a favor ?
Never get a girl gifts before you've slept with them if you're getting her a gift , just stop .Although you can do hera favor but it has to be something she can't do by herself . Let's say she wanted you to tie her shoe . That's something she probably can do by herself soo no .Let's say she desperately needed a number no one has .. ok why not she'll definitly be thankfull .

How to break persistence ?

Ok you said no .. she doesn't care she isn't budging . She asks the same question again and again because she knows you'll eventually do it . This is when you should give her conditions . Let's say you said no to holding her bag . ( she should hold it by herself , you're not her gay best friend ! ) She 's gonna ask you again and again .In this case it's a definitive no , so the condition should be up there . Usually I'd say on one condition and unbuckel my belt . She'll definitly stop then . Let's say she wanted to cut in line in front of you . Well it isn't a definitive no , you don't have to let her but you can soo in this case your condition would be a kiss on the cheek . ( if you really want the kiss , you have to look her dead in the eye and be dead serious )

Comment your opinion on this and tell me what I am missing if indeed I am missing anything .

Learning to stop being nice has a lot to do with understanding your own feelings in the moment.

Do you do what you want to do or what you feel is the proper thing to do - or do you do what you believe is going to appease the other person despite how uncomfortable it makes you feel?

A woman wouldn't even ask me to hold her bag. I give off a much stronger vibe then that. Thats been cultivated from me repeatedly keeping my boundaries and standards checked and balanced. Nice guys are people pleasers. They do what they feel will make other happy despite themselves. So they are used as stepping stones and anytime they are stepped on they fall lower and lower than they were before. Now with this understanding, if you care about yourself and your own mental and emotional elevation you would do whats necessary to ensure that no one or nothing disrupts that. This is your challenge. Knowing when to say no. And mean it. Being willing to lose a friend, an acquaintance, or a woman for the sake of standing your grown.

When you want to make a change you can not have it both ways. You don't get to keep all your current friends. You lose some, you sacrifice certain relationships for your greater good. You have to get comfortable with letting go. Thats the root of your "nice guy" act.

I help people all the time, but I'm the own judge of what I do an when I do it. At the slightest hint that someone is taking advantage(which you feel) everything comes to a stop. Learn to act when your gut turns or rumbles at the thought of a task or at the thought of complying with a request.

No one can tell you what to do. You have to trust your own inner boundaries. Ours won't be the same. You have to be YOU and I have to be me.

Learn to respond properly to your gut. Learn to say no. And learn to ask yourself "Why am I doing this? " or "Why don't I want to do this" and come up with an answer. But the most important part is knowing how to make the sacrifice. Who to let go, how to let go, and when to let go.

The less time it takes you to make a decision, the more people will respect you.

Peace & Love

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Imo if she is asking you to do things for her that means she is using you. Especially if you haven't had sex yet. You need to stand your ground and demand sex. If she doesn't give it up then stop doing things for her simple as that. If I'm not having sex with a girl there is no point in doing something nice for her. That just means you are a sucker, plain and simple. Everyone should know this. I mean a nice deed once in a while is one thing. But if she's calling you up for help on a regular basis and you aren't hitting it then you sir are a tool.

For the record , this isn't a same girl . This all of them over the years .

Stop being a push over man. Say no.

This is hilarious hahah. Definitely gonna use this first chance I get.


Your post is quite good OP. But yeah, always question whether what it is you're about to do comes from a place of neediness or not.

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My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
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You CAN go about it this way... yes...

OR, there's an easier way, which is ultimately more rewarding in the long run.

Transcend pickup nonsense!

Why does there need to be manipulative contract going on?

The solution to being too nice is very simple; walk your path.

YOUR path - not hers. You are a man of action, who takes what he wants in life and lives according to his highest values. Everything else is irrelevant.

When that happens - when you know who you are as a man and are walking your path, you are no longer behaving for validation, you are simply being you. So letting her pass in front of you in line, doing favors for her or whatever else just makes you a good person.

Look mate, children play games like you've described. Kiss on the cheek here, hug there, haha hihi cute. It's bullshit. Man up and do what you feel is right. It's the only way to grow properly.

Mack

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Dude I just think you have this idea that women want to be treated respectfully and blah blah blah. They don't. Period. They fuck the jerks. Why? Because aggression is attractive to a woman. It turns them on when guys go after what they want. It's a genetic thing. So you being nice and buying her things is not romantic at all to women. In fact it's the opposite. It turns them off very quickly. All you're doing is successfully proving that you're a pushover and you have no backbone. That is very very unattractive to women. That's why you're struggling. You're probably a nice, stand up guy. They dont' want that. They want a guy who takes charge and gets things done. Period. You have to show her that. You have to prove you're that type of guy. This is inner game. You have to transform yourself into the type of guy that gets things done. The type of guy that goes after what he wants. Even if you fail, it's sexy to women. Women love a guy that takes risks, takes chances, and puts himself on the line for what he wants. But be aggressive about it. Even if it seems like you're arrogant, as long as you aren't being extremely disrespectful women will want you. It takes practice though. I'm in the same boat myself. At least now I have a clue though.

Treat them more like your guy friends. Would you go outside, freeze your ass off and warm up your car in the winter for your buddy if he asked? Most likely you'd jokingly say "fuck off man go do it yourself you pussy." Do the same with them. They're humans just like us.