Ok, since I was 16 I've had the same problem; a girl will meet me, like me, we will start a romantic relationship but quickly it dissolves into friendship on her part? I thought that I would stop it by following the PUA rules but it hasn't. In the most recent case, this girl isn't shit man, she isn't what I'm after at all, maybe a 6 but being new, she was practice and EVEN SHE has now obviously lost interest in me sexually, and today said something about me being her friend!? WTF? I need help fellas. This is a problem that has plagued me for 12 years. I need an answer to why with me girls sooner (usually) or later lose interest while they fall deeply in love with other guys? please guys, I'm putting my faith in you to find the answer to this one.

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There is no absolute black or white; just infinite shades of gray

Are those girls you just met or have you known them for a while? That makes all the difference. Is the attraction there at any point and then fizzles out eventually? We need more info here.

I assume you are familiar with the Mystery Method? Focus on attraction building first; then go through the other stages. If you need more detail, just ask - either here or PM.

Next: if the attraction is there in the first place, then you're gold. But make sure you move in for the kill sooner or later. If you don't make your intentions clear - either by SOI or a blatant attempt to kiss (try Mystery's kiss close) - then the attraction will either fizzle out or she'll just assume you're not interested and move on to another guy.

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On we plough.

Love,

Ace

Yes, I am very familiar with the Mystery Method; that is essentially what I follow most and is the first book on PUA's I ever read. As for knowing the girls first or just met them, I'd have to say in most cases it's instant attraction, I didn't know them before but they were attracted to me. There were times too where I would work somewhere for a few months and then someone would tell me, "did you know Emily and Noreen like you?" but I hadn't really talked much with them prior to that. In this most recent case, I didn't know her, SHE CHASED ME! I more or less played it cool (I didn't care anyway) but my intentions were clear, trust me. Now though, like almost all the rest, SHE ACTS AS ALOOF AS I DO! WTF?

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There is no absolute black or white; just infinite shades of gray

My personal thought is that once you get into the relationship, you forget how you acted to gain the attraction.

You have to remember why she was attracted to you in the first place and keep that up. If you "settle down" then she loses the attraction of the really interesting guy. In essence, you need to work on your inner game, and get your outer game and inner game both relating to the type of person you are.

It seems that you game her well, but eventually she realises you aren't the person she was attracted too.

I think that is very true; that with me, women often must realize they aren't attracted to me like they initially thought. I think that is established as irrifutable fact. Often though-as in this most recent case-I didn't do ANYTHING to attract them, they just were...then they get to know me and don't like the inner me. I'm partily talking to myself but trying to figure out what it is they don't like...I'm depressing(because I'm depressed myself); If I like a girl (which I didn't in this most recent case) I do get jealous; though I can play off self-confidence initially and usually, the truth is I'm not self-confident and I have really low self-esteem and I know that at some point I slip and let them see that...

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There is no absolute black or white; just infinite shades of gray

Your problem is your low self esteem. It affects your whole life in a negative way. If you can do something about it you will be a much happier man and the girls will want you as more than a friend.

The best way to solve this is to get good at something, not necessarily picking up girls. But since we are on the subject, your game can be improved by:
-try to game a few girls in parallell not just one. This will get you in a more relaxed state when your with one of them.
-Don't take failure personally. The feedback from a failure is just as important and valid as the feedback from success.
-Fake good confidence with the routines in this forum
-have fun. Tease the girls, let them entertain you. If they want to be friends, tease them even more. Try to sometimes be a complete asshole just to explore your own mind and personality.

Generally in life you should award even your smallest achievements. If you just made a small progress in your game or in whatever, be proud, and then get sharper and keep going!

Good luck man

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A swedish tiger

Thank you SvenBula, and I agree with you about my low self-esteem affecting my life in a negative way. It's not going to be easy however to fix that problem. I've had low self-esteem my whole life and also extremely bad luck. lol Now, I know that may sound funny but it's something that IS REAL; Just like certain player's in sports are injury prone and are often on the disabled list? I am prone to having bad things happen to me. I mean, things that you wouldn't BELIEVE! lol but since I decided to work on becoming a PUA, I decided that I would work on that. Another thing is I get VERY hurt when I get rejected because of my self-esteem and as Mystery says "You really can't care". That's also going to be a challenge. anyway, thanks bro

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There is no absolute black or white; just infinite shades of gray

Good luck to you man.
It's great that you see your faults and have decided to work on your inner game.
Plus, a good way to avoid LJBF would be to just be more agressive (go in for an k close or f close more) and not too avalilable.
I have a friend who always ends up being a friend to a girl, and he's a great conversationalist. As a matter of fact he always has them on a phone and sometimes for like half an hour. Well, I guess that's his doom, he just doesn't want to admit it, he's thinks being overly friendly will hook them.
Good luck to you bro, and keep us updated.

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This game is automatic. You give it to 'em one time, they come back like addicts.

Lennon,

I could swear everything you have typed came from my keyboard. I'm right there with you. I always end up the friend because I become too nice. I would never signal my initial intentions, and I would think that being friendly and doing things for women would get me in the place I would want to be. Instead I end up being just the good guy reliable friend of the hot chick i would be obsessing about. I'm still working on not being this guy everyday, but its hard.

My best suggestion is to do the little things. It helped me. Im talking stupid little things to help build confidence. I did and ended up dating this HB9 model after keeping up with my routine. I would start every morning by jogging 20 minutes, then come home make my bed and do a quick clean up of my bedroom. My thinking was always be prepared to have a presentable place to lay a girl. I started flossing twice a day, washing my face at night, keeping my dishes cleaned up lifting weights consistently in the evenings as well.

I love making my bed first thing in the morning cause I start my day off with a big accomplishment I would never do for the first 26 years of my life. It just put me in a better mood. Just all of these little things put me in a better place and mood and helped build my confidence.

Hope this helps. good luck.

Do you know me? J/K
Whatever you do, don't hook them by becoming friends then talking to them on the phone all the time. I had a just friend that would call me 3 and 4 times a day and talk for upwards of 2 hours everyday, and if I didn't talk to her cause my phone was off I was flooded with text messages about how lonely she was and told about how she had a bad day cause she didn't talk to me. Sounds like I could've used that right? Nope I couldn't build chemistry. That window was closed, and using logic to point out why we would have been a good couple only started a fight. In my experience girls hate logic. So I gave her an ultimatum and after about a week she started to come around cause she was lonely without talking to me. Then her friends got on her about what kind of selfish person I was, and how I was predatory and shouldn't be associated with. It took 3 weeks of talking to her friends to get her back to being my friend.

So now I'm a RAFC, and getting better all the time. I've prevented the LJBF with the last 2 girls, and if all goes well and I stay on track with this and remember to use kino properly, and avoid day dates I think I'll be a full fledged PUA in no time.
I believe the solution to fixing a hard case of LJBF, would be to quit hanging around, and talking to your target for a significant period of time and work on your game and when you start talking to her again just remember to behave differently than before and avoid all the pit falls you hit the first time. But its trying that hard on one girl that makes us Average Frustrated Chumps in the first place.

good point

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There is no absolute black or white; just infinite shades of gray

veryy well said not just for PUA's but improving on your quality of life.... this alone is very inspiring... sometimes you forget the whole point of why we do this; for entertainment.. if its not fun for YOU then why bother...

Yeah, I guess some guys do it for entertainment and if I get good it would become a hobby and entertainment...but I'm doing this because I'm an AFC man. I've never in my whole fucking goddamn life had a relationship last even a fucking year, and I've been rejected far more often than not. We all get in this for different reasons but PUa's initial appeal wasn't for entertainment, it's cause my way ain't working...

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There is no absolute black or white; just infinite shades of gray

I have to admit, self-esteem is über important! I would recommend reading Joseph Matthews 'The Art of Approaching' to help with that; it helped me a ton!
But as one my friend (who's a 'natural') says: "You gotta have da attitude!"

I'm still not entirely sure what kind of mentality I'm supposed to adopt in order to convey the right attitude, but I've found that if you just treat girls like your little sister, things go much smoother! I guess it has something to do with the fact that most guys would be happy to bring a crow-bar to the legs of any man who dares to hurt his little sis!
(Or am I just twisted like that? )

One trick that I really like to use in order to get girls to 'despise' me is to pat them on the head; they "hate" this, and love me for it!
One girl might think that you're teasing her about her height while another might pull a feminist card on you; either way you're teasing them and allowing yourself a chance to study their insecurities.

Then, of course, you have to get them to fight for their value level; it's all about DH!
In any case, I have a similar problem as your own; it doesn't take long for me to become Mr.Good-Friend, so I have very few tips to say on that subject.
Lately I've just been trying to keep the friendly attitude at bay..

I guess the main thing is to keep reminding them where they belong: under your wing!

You are 100% responsible for your life and the choices you make and the feelings you have.

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Walk Hard