Interesting situation...



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 Post subject: Interesting situation...
PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2015 8:01 pm 
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Hey guys, long time reader of the forum and just want to say that the advice on here is absolutely golden!

I've been in the game for a few years and feel like I'm hitting some interesting mid-game problems. So here's the situation:

I've been seeing girl A and girl B casually for about 1/1.5 months each.

Girl A: she's an attractive sorority girl (HB 8.5) and she lives in the same town as me. The sex is incredible however there's absolutely no feelings besides that. Sure we'll grab some food sometimes but everything eventually leads to sex.

Girl B: she's a cute girl (HB 7.5) but lives in a neighboring state. Although the sex is fun with her, we both really enjoy our time together and both have developed feelings for each other.

A few days ago, went on a trip with Girl B and we both ended up (drunkenly) saying that we love each other. We also said the same thing in the morning and even used the term bf/gf a few times. As someone that believes in karma, I believe the right thing to do would be to cut things off with girl A (even though girl B would not know). However at the same time, I understand that a long distance relationship with girl B would be harder than a local one and Im wondering if I should hedge my bets.

Any advice is welcome, wondering if anyone else has experienced a similar situation like this one.


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PostPosted: Wed May 20, 2015 2:41 am 
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Haven't had a situation just like that but I've had to choose between two girls... So I'll throw in my 2 cents for ya:

How far is a "neighboring state"? I think that's the real question. Are we talking a half hour or are we talking 3 hours? It's a new relationship (?) and a large distance is probably going to fail.

I also question why you reciprocated her feelings for you on that trip? If you actually do really like the girl, no harm in giving it a shot (and again it comes back to what I mentioned above... If you're going to see the chick once a month, it won't likely work).

You can always get another FB.

Can't give you a more specific opinion without knowing what I've asked above.


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PostPosted: Wed May 20, 2015 3:11 am 
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CharlesFinley, thanks for taking the time to reply.

Girl B lives about 3/4 hours away from me (depending on how fast either of us drives of course :wink: ) and we've been meeting up about twice a month. And to answer your second question, I believe I actually enjoy this girl's personality and like her. Although girl A is more attractive, I'm at the point where instead of just adding another notch I'd like to pursue something a bit more long term. Plus I'm thinking this may give me the ability to practice being a challenge and keeping the attraction high even through there's the distance.


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PostPosted: Wed May 20, 2015 9:24 pm 
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What are the chances of either girl B moves closer to you or you closer to her?
If it is possible how long do you think it would take for this to happen?


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PostPosted: Wed May 20, 2015 10:14 pm 
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Quote:
CharlesFinley, thanks for taking the time to reply.

Girl B lives about 3/4 hours away from me (depending on how fast either of us drives of course :wink: ) and we've been meeting up about twice a month. And to answer your second question, I believe I actually enjoy this girl's personality and like her. Although girl A is more attractive, I'm at the point where instead of just adding another notch I'd like to pursue something a bit more long term. Plus I'm thinking this may give me the ability to practice being a challenge and keeping the attraction high even through there's the distance.

Have you considered the possibility that you like Girl A a bit more because of the distance and infrequent amount of time you've been able to see her? The connection is built on emotion and less on the physical because, besides the two times a month in which you see her, the emotional connection is all there is. Had you seen her as equally as you've seen girl A, you may or may not have the feelings for her that you do currently. Emotions are usually based on self perception. The nerd in high school is love with the cheerleader because of the image he's created of her in his mind. She could be the most bitchy and unfit for a relationship girl on the planet. But he's emotions are based upon what he chooses to see because of his circumstance vs her. She's further out of reach, and the possibility is seemingly lower for attaining her.

Just keep that in mind.

My only question is, what is making you feel pressured to cut one of them off. Is it just the fact that you and her exchanged "i Love you" or have you just be creating the impression that she is the only girl in your life and now thats starting to catch up with you?

Just be aware dude. Part of the reason she likes you is because you have other options. You're a bit less dependent emotionally. It is "this guy - with two options" that is projecting the frame that this girl likes so much. When you lose that, a portion of the frame you project goes with it. So i'd advise you making a gradual transition into a commitment if thats something you come to find out you actually want. I wouldn't make a sudden switch. I've seen that land guys is 3-6 months relationships tops.

Take your time man.

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PostPosted: Thu May 21, 2015 2:13 am 
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I honestly think Eddie gives some of the best advice on this board(even if he did mix up the letters between A and B this time). Why make a decision now when no commitments have been made besides a drunken "I love you." Girl B will eventually ask if you guys are exclusive and by then you will know if thats what you want. Just don't wait to long because as Hunter S. Thompson said, “A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.”


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PostPosted: Thu May 21, 2015 2:49 am 
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Odyn, I agree- Eddie Fews' advice is golden. Honestly what he mentioned never even crossed my mind.

After truly thinking about it, I might be ignoring any less than desirable traits from girl B and instead just choosing to see what I want to see. Perhaps I'm even willing to settle because she's giving me more validation than girl A. I think the best approach would be to play things out and not make any hasty decisions.


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