This girl just said I'm socially awkward



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PostPosted: Mon May 18, 2015 1:47 pm 
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Joined: Mon Sep 02, 2013 6:40 am
Posts: 43
In every mind, there is "thinker" and a "prover"... If you think you're socially awkward, your prover will prove you right. Who doesn't like to be right - right? (there are different terms for this process, but I prefer the simplicity of "thinker" and "prover")

Anyway, you need to realize that these are simply your thoughts. it is just the "I am a socially awkward person" thought, but is that thought your truth? Is that your label?

No, it is not. Your mind creates your reality, not your thoughts. Your mind is like a filter; if you watch the world through the filter of being a socially awkward person, you will view the whole world from that filter.

What to do about it then?

Well, first, you need to realize that there is a filter in the first place. You do that by acknowledging the fact that thoughts have no power over you whatsoever; your thoughts only have the power that you provide it with.

The tricky part about this, however, is that there is nothing you can do about it right now - you just have to realize that you are anxious in the moment and let your mind clear on its own. it is a natural process - from a clear mind, you will have resources of confidence and peace of mind.

Remember that you are not your thoughts - your thoughts only have power over you if you get caught up in your thinking.

"I am not my thoughts" should be your mantra. Whenever you feel socially awkward, remember that "this is my socially awkward thoughts" and be curious about them. how do they make you feel? Don't fight it - rest in it. Let your mind clear on its own.

And, of course - be more social! Arrange dinner parties, regular parties, have people over all the time, go to interesting places, invite friends to go on weekend trips with you and so on and on. With practice and with time spend with other people, you will naturally begin to feel more comfortable. This along with the understanding of thoughts will take you great places :)

feel free to message me if I need to be clearer - it might be a hard concept to grasp as first.

- Andreas

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 14, 2015 12:56 am 
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Joined: Wed Sep 24, 2014 9:20 pm
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I know how it feels, it feels like you are handcuffed. I wouldn't worry about meeting women now, just improve on yourself. You'll always probably be shy and quiet, that's part of your personality. But you can definitely become less afraid, and lose those paranoid thoughts.

That's what I am doing. Right now Im focused on school, getting an apartment next year, and getting in really good shape. And I agree, Im always going to be an introvert, but thats the truth and I embrace it. Besides, focusing too much on pu**y can be detrimental to life anyways. I did get this really hot girls number last week at the cafeteria by complimenting her and asking for her number. I got in bed with her two days later, and touched her, but she said she didn't like being touched. She said shes not like that. And then her roomate walked in, destroying my shot at sex. So then she told me shes sleepy so I left. I directly told her I wanted to have sex with her the first time we hung, so I wouldn't waste time. She didnt answer and instead changed the subject. I also got another girls number in class, and felt she was into me, and told her lets go back to my place and fuck, and she thought I was really bold, but it didnt work out right because I told her if she slept with me she would feel like a slut but I would be a slut too so it wouldn't matter but that scared her and she just walked out after class. I was sitting right next to her and texting her. I havent got laid yet, but I have been improving myself and being chill/laid back. It seems to be better than actively seeking women and focusing more on them.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 15, 2015 1:01 am 
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Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2011 7:44 am
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Location: Chicago, IL
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I have tried so so hard not to be socially awkward over the past year and this just made things worse.

1) When walking past a hot girl, I wont give her too much attention, just a quick glance and eye contact

2) I usually eat breakfast alone. Is that bad? I mean I dont mind because I dont have time to meet up with a friend to "goto breakfast" I do however eat with a girl every night for dinner and lunch but you can say me and her are "just freinds"

3) I noticed when I eat alone, I start to become really really awkward and shy and paranoid that everyone is watching my every move

4) I have this rage inside me like I want to be myself and not give a f*** what anyone cares, but I just CANT do it unless I have prepared myself before showing up to a place

5) I have trouble being "desensitized" if you may have read in many PUA guides

6) I try not to look desperate or like a loser by staring straight to where I m walking even if I see a bro and Im like whats good bro and just keep going forward to not look beta and seek approval from other males (no homo)

Why are you doing all of this shit?

I'm curious as to what makes you awkward... ?

Do you not know how to hold a normal conversation? Do you start giggling or something? Do you have a nervous twitch around people? Are you overly needy for people to like you? Do you drool or have snot coming from your nose? Are you one of those guys who just looks "crusty" like you're a computer programmer? Or maybe you're one of those guys who spends too much time in the gym, comparing yourself to other guys?

What is it? What makes you awkward?

All of that weird shit you're doing just makes you seem more awkward in my opinion.

Why do you look away when a cute girl is making eye contact with you? Hold it. Smile. Say something.

You're that awkward dude who stares at girls then is too much of a pussy to admit he was doing it. (You look away.)

That's creepy.

You're that weird guy who says "hi" to me that I don't even see standing there. Why do you do that?

You have quite a few awkward behaviors from what I can see but I feel like I haven't even touched the tip of the iceberg. This runs deeper.


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