| I'd like to clarify a few more things for people who might be wondering why it's better to be Direct than indirect. I'll start by talking about the disadvantages of indirect...
THE MAIN PROBLEMS WITH INDIRECT APPROACHES
An indirect approach is any kind of approach where you don't reveal your true intentions to a women right from the start. Instead you beat around the bush and talk about anything EXCEPT FOR what you truly want from her.
You never let her know you are romantically or sexually attracted to her, you never let her know whether you want a monogamous or non-monogamous relationship, etc. Basically you are not honest and straight up with her, and you try to get into her pants by pretending you're not trying to get into her pants.
There is no sexual element to the conversation; instead you have the usual pleasant, polite, platonic conversation that every other guy she meets has with her.
Now on paper it might seem like a good way to meet women, to not be too forward and to 'just have a friendly conversation with her'. But there are several common problems that guys usually encounter when they are indirect with women. These problems are pretty universal amongst men, and seem to occur literally ALL THE TIME to men all over the world. These problems could easily be avoided if men were simply direct and honest with women:
1. When you are indirect with women, there is no solid way to tell whether a girl is interested in you romantically or sexually, or whether she only likes you in a platonic manner. It's too easy to confuse women who just want to be platonic friends with those who want to be lovers, and vice versa.
When you are having a polite, pleasant conversation with a woman, how do you tell whether she is attracted to you or not? She could just be talking to you because she likes the attention or just wants to make a platonic male friend. A lot of guys believe that
if they are merely talking to a girl, it means they are 'getting somewhere' with her. Really, having long winded indirect conversations with women merely gives the illusion they are getting somewhere with her.
Some people believe that you can tell by a girl's body language as to whether she's into you romantically/sexually. There is some truth to this, however body language signals can be ambiguous and still be misinterpreted, therefore they cannot be taken as conclusive proof as to whether a girl is attracted to you.
The only way to be 100% certain as to whether a girl is attracted to you or not is to open your mouth and ask her. If you want a woman to reveal her true intentions towards you, you need to be Direct with her. This will force her to reveal her hand.
2. There's no way to let a girl know exactly what type of romantic or sexual relationship you want with her if you are indirect.
If you are indirect with a girl, how do you let her know whether you are looking for a monogamous or non-monogamous relationship, or whether you just want casual sex, etc? There's no way to actually convey SPECIFICALLY what you want from a girl unless you are verbally direct with her.
3. Indirect approaches and polite/pleasant conversations don't get women turned on
If you want to get women sexually aroused when they talk to you, I'm afraid bland, sexless, indirect conversations don't cut it. There needs to be a sexual element to the conversation. This is where direct really comes into its own. Direct helps you establish a sexual dynamic to the interaction right from start, and, unlike with Indirect, you don't have the awkwardness of trying to shift into sexual mode later on, because you are already there.
4. Indirect approaches don't make you stand out from every other guy she meets
The vast majority of men in society today tend to be indirect with women, and women get tired and bored of the same old same old. Men have become really predictable and generic to women. If you want to stand out from other men in a positive way, you need to be Direct.
It's so rare for a guy to be Direct with a woman, especially if you know what you're doing and can back it up with real confidence too.
5. Indirect approaches leave the door open for women to play games with you and manipulate you and have your time wasted
An unfortunate side effect of beating around the bush is that if you don't take the reigns and actually reveal your romantic or sexual intentions to a woman, you leave yourself in a position where she never reveals her intentions to you. When you are in this position, women can toy with you, play games with you and generally waste your time.
6. Indirect approaches leave you susceptible to ending up in the friend zone or becoming a girl's 'digital communication buddy'
Yet another unfortunate side effect of being indirect with women is that you too often end up in the dreaded 'friend zone'. When you start being Direct with women, you will find that there is no longer such a thing as a friend one in your interactions with women; instead you will effortlessly attract the women who are attracted to you whilst quickly weeding out the ones who are not.
THE MAIN PROBLEMS WITH USING PUA TACTICS & TECHNIQUES
1. They are based on deception, lying, playing games and manipulating women
Do you really want to have to lie to women in order to get romantically or sexually involved with them? What does playing games and manipulating women actually achieve? The answer: nothing!
A much healthier and mature approach is to be direct, real and honest instead.
2. Women can see through tactics and techniques; they are not stupid
A lot of PUA guys underestimate women and naively think women will fall for their tactics and techniques.The reality is, women are not stupid and if you try using tactics and techniques on them, they will see through it and call you out on it. Then you will look incredibly stupid.
Look, canned routines and all that bullshit just doesn't work and it doesn't impress women one bit.
3. They make you appear really false and phony
PUA techniques make men look like bad actors and come across as having a phony and false vibe about them. Women will spot this a mile off and be repelled by such a vibe. Women value men who are geuine and sincere, so the Direct approach will work far better.
4. They're too complicated and unnecessarily difficult to implement
Getting women isn't a complicated science. Being successful with women is actually quite simple. By using PUA tactics and techniques, you're vastly over-complicating the process of meeting women and just making things more difficult for yourself. Not only is the Direct approach much simpler, it also works much better too.
5. You will eventually get found out, and your interaction will end badly
If your base your interactions with women on tactics and techniques, you will, sooner or later, get found and and the girl will really resent you for putting on a fascade. If you want to have true mutual trust and respect between yourself and women, you need to be direct, real and honest instead.
6. You never learn to be your real self around women and to attract them using your natural personality
I think deep down, a lot of guys who use PUA techniques wish they could attract women with their real personality instead, without any of the PUA bullshit. Well, the good news is, with the Direct approach, you can. You will no longer need the fascade, and you can be your true self with women and be highly successful.
7. You will lack honour and self respect as a man and never really feel good about yourself
In the long run, , using PUA tactics and techniques will leave you feeling empty and hollow; you will achieve very little lasting fulfillment or happiness from following this path.
On the other hand, by learning to attract women by being direct, real and honest, you will find a lot more peace and overall fulfillment within yourself and in your relationships with women.
8. Despite what the so called 'seduction gurus' tell you, they don't work anything like as well as they claim (if at all)
Most of the techniques, tactics and routines marketed by the so called seduction gurus are made to seem as if they are some sort of 'magic pill' to make women attracted to you. The truth is, they simply don't work very effectively at all. Remember, PUA gurus are looking to make money, so they will over-hype their products in order to get naive guys to part with their cash.
You will get much better results by being direct, real and honest with women instead.
Last edited by BeDirectWithWomen on Sun May 17, 2015 11:28 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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