Thanks, I think someone mentioned these same books in another forum.
Thanks. This much I have been doing. At the last session she told me about a woman who was her mentor, and supposed to partner with this women. The woman ended up backing out even though the girl moved into town to work with this woman. It was upsetting to her. She said the woman gets most of her referrals through her husband, an oncologist.

I was trying to agree with her and I was like "Yeah, cancer patients will try annyyythinng.." it sounded really bad (because these people are dying) and she paused for a second and backed up and said that she was at least glad that the cancer patients were getting help they needed... I backed up too and said "Well, that sucks that it didn't work out. Sorry to hear that..." and she perked up a bit and talked about how she was voted the number one acupuncturist in town.. Things like that I pay close attention to. This is being a "nice guy", though, not a badass. It's still alpha, in my book.
No, it's okay. I don't take it as an insult. I agree completely. I used to get with a lot more women when I was in college but I also used to get into a lot more fights, get arrested, and get fired from every single job... I was a "bad ass" but the court system kind of turned me into a bitch.... I had to see a counselor who made me apologize for just about everything, including closing the door too hard!! She was nuts! It scared the fuck out of me because she wrote about every little thing to my PO, and threatened me about writing my PO constantly.

I don't have a decade of rapport with this girl. I never kept in touch. Just chatted for like 2 minute conversations times a long, long time ago.

I'll take any advice you have on how to be "bad ass" but still stay out of trouble and not get into arguments at work..

I play guitar with a bud of mine and we are writing some songs. They are about pretty dark shit ... suicide, loneliness, stuff like that ...

I play some really intense military simulation games (airsoft). Although it is playing with toy guns, essentially, a lot of the participants are veterans or active duty, and lots of people get injured from heat stroke, slip and falls, other injuries. It's actually really dangerous.. There's an ambulance showing up at the larger events, usually. I think it's badass. If someone doesn't train for months/weeks beforehand they won't last through the bigger events.

What else?

Can *I* friendzone *her* just to put the shit on ice, so there isn't any attraction that is being tested till it expries, until I get my shit together, or do I need to act now?

Act now. Attraction expires pretty soon, one way or another. Just not seeing you is enough for you to fade.

Also, since she has a boyfriend, you're technically already in the "friendzone" as far as your stated relationship goes. You can't put someone in the "friendzone". All the friendzone really is, is a lack of sexual interest.
If you tell her "I'm not into you", that doesn't friendzone her, just tells her "I think you want to cheat on your boyfriend with me, and I'm not interested". Which, is just going to piss her off and make her want to have nothing to do with you.

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RSDTyler

Yeah. Okay well *how* and *when* do you propose I ask her out? I could try to do it right at the end of the acupuncture session although I am usually groggy by that point and can't speak clearly. I should probably do it before she's started to do the needles. I'm not scared to ask a girl out, and I can deal with her saying no, but any tips to make it easier or more successful will help. Are you sure bowling or putt putt is appropriate for a 35 y/o? I like em both, personally. Putt putt I like a lot more, but the weather sucks out here. May need to do bowling. It's not a huge town I'm in. There's an art museum but everyone's been there.

haha when you ask her out and she says yes, do something small that you enjoy. It doesn't have to be putt putt golf or bowling. I was just throwing some ideas out there.
From what most PUA say, like Versalis said, try to take her out at night. Do something small and if everything goes good go and have a few drinks.

Look at what your area has to offer and go from there.

And when to ask her out? Hmm that's a tough one for me. I'd say maybe afterwards... Even if you're groggy you could ask and if she says no you could claim you said something else, and then tease her about it later. Like the next time you go in say something like "Ready to go on that date?"

I'm sure one of the better guys will give you better advice. Just throwing that out there.

I take it you live in a very, very, very small town?

Anyway, the point of the date is for you two to have alone time, and in a location where sexual escalation is possible. There was a bowling alley in Indy, where it was common to take a date to/meet a girl there and makeout(they had a liquor license and served shots). But that was a pretty uncommon bowling alley.

If this chick is married/has a boyfriend, doing stuff in public is almost out of the question. This is doubly true if you're in a small town. I like to have a simple meetup suggestion.
One of my favorites is a small snack. X has the best slushie/ice cream/cookie, etc. Let's meet there, and then we'll see where the night takes us
That's my preferred nightish time date, though in fairness most of my dates are under 21, so going for a drink is out of the question. Once we've met up, I usually suggest we go to the nearest grocery store and get supplies, so we can go to my place and eat and watch a movie.

I've found that girls are a lot more likely to go home with me, if I suggest we go here first, and then home. If I just say, "Let's go back to my place ^_^", I get a lot more "no, because reason". When it's "Let's go to X, and then go to my place", it works far, far more often.

Btw, I assume you have alcohol at your place. I always keep wine coolers, white and red wine, two types of beer(Blue Moon and Corona), Jager, Rum(Coconut), Vodka(Bacardi, usually a berry flavor), and decent Tequila(Patron). You have all of that on hand, and any girl you invite over, will usually have something she either likes or is curious about.
If you wonder why I've got expensive tequila on the list while everything else is pretty cheap, it's because I cannot find any other kind of tequila that isn't vomit inducingly, nasty. Some chicks are down for nasty tequila, but most aren't and I'm not fucking up a date over $20 worth of booze.
I'd also suggest having Coke, Pepsi, Red Bull, club soda/ginger ale and Minute Maid on hand to mix with the booze.

It's like a $125 investment upfront, but once established, it will probably never cost more than $20 for both of you on a given date, and many times it will be $3-4 worth. It's damn handy to have around, though.

Btw, Kraken is great fun with guys or even mixed parties(provided you don't want sex to happen), but don't keep it with your girl booze. Girls will get literally shit faced, and be throwing up and blacking out on you. I don't know what it is about Kraken, but keep it away from any girl you want to fuck.

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RSDTyler

*MODERATOR: Edited to remove personal info*

Thing is, I don't drink. I don't really get out much, except for loud live music at dive bars, and that's pretty rare. I had a drinking problem so I stopped going to bars. I'm better at walking that line, now, though.

I don't know what type of bar this girl would go for but I know of one that is kind of quiet that's near her work, where they have good aged alcohol, and where it's unlikely she would run into someone she knows. But then again if it's near her work, there's always that off chance of running into someone she knows. It's pretty low-key, though. Not sure how much sexual escalation normally occurs there, though. I can't think of much else but I'll see what else would work. Something away from prying eyes, where sexual escalaition can occur.. Got it..

My guess is she lives with her BF, in which case, her not coming home may be an issue if she's just testing the waters. Don't you think?

My pad still kind of sucks. I'm kind of a stingy fucker. I have been trying to invest my money into retirement, but I guess it's time to shift my priorities. From the sound of it, I don't really have time to go Martha Stewart.

I have a huge TV and nice stereo and a really comfy bed but my couch is a piece of shit. Bought it from a drug addict. There is an office chair next to it, for people to watch TV, lol... Place is seriously not meant for entertaining guests, although it is very nice besides the seating.

Would be best if sex is already purpose for coming here. Doesn't prevent me from buying alcohol, though. Good idea.

I wouldn't worry too much about your place. Provided it's clean(by this, I mean no garbage, rats, bugs, or HUGE clothing paper mess) and not in a scary part of town, you should be good.

The two things I suggest everyone invest in is lighting and a good stereo system(doesn't need to be expensive, but not $20 shit). I personallylove these. I only have them in my bedroom, but they're great. I read somewhere that women become more aroused by dim red/orange lighting. Don't even recall where anymore, but it seemed like a legit source. I've had a lot of girls comment that they love the lights and think they set a sexy mood, so I'm happy with them.

As for stereo system, it's only useful if you have sexy music. That usually helps if you know what she likes first. But barring that, I've found that Drake and Prince seem to be decent for a general audience. And don't just play any music she likes. Sexy music that she likes. If she really goes on about some band having a sexy voice(s), then you may be able to just dump them on there. I've done that with good success, but don't just do it with any band she likes. She needs to specifically comment on the singer having a sexy voice(not just "he's sexy"). And even then you need to use discretion. If it's screamo or something, I'd still be wary.

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RSDTyler