I have come a long way since I joined the pickup community 4 months back. I started out by reading Mark Manson's Models, Richard Ruina's The Natural (both of which I highly recommend by the way) and a couple other books.
I can now pretty much approach women easily in many environments and hold 1/2-1 hr conversations. I think I am good at building attraction and comfort. However, my sticking point is closing. In spite of building attraction many times my lay conversion rate is very low to say the least.
Today, I want to talk about 3 scenarios where I think I successfully built attraction and seduction but did not manage to lay the woman. Keep in mind these are all same-night scenarios since I was traveling during this time and was not in the same place for more than 1-2 days.
Scenario #1
This is a girl I have had on Facebook for a while. When I posted that I was coming to her city, she FBd me asking me the details. Then I took the conversation forward and we planned to meet when I got there. Therefore, she had already given me an IOI right from the start.
We met at a nightclub but I quickly realized that building comfort in a loud nightclub was near impossible. Luckily, the club had a quite restaurant/bar close by so I led her there and we both got a drink. We both had about 2 drinks each and I immediately began kino by touching her arms when emphasizing points and some under-table leg brushing. She responded neutrally throughout so I continued the push-pull, giving kino intermittently. At the end of the 2 drinks I had built enough comfort with her and she suggested a taco place right outside.
We both got tacos right outside and coincidently bumped into my friends (who knew I was out on a date). My friends were happy to see me high-fiving me etc. Soon after, I introduced her to all my friends. Since it was still early in the night, I suggested we join them for a couple more drinks to which she readily agreed. However, while with my friends she was relatively quite being the new stranger.
I realized she was getting bored so I decided to take her to the nightclub. This is where it began escalating. The dancefloor was packed and I began moderate kino which escalated to heavy kino (kissing neck, rubbing ass, grinding etc.). I kissed her twice briefly but she was the first to pull away. She seemed reluctant in spite of all the kino she was allowing which kind of confused me.
Anyhoo, it all started going down hill when we went to get drinks. She ran into some of her buddies and decided to stay with them. I conversed with all of em but she did not introduce me to them. I asked her if she wanted to go back to the dance floor and she declined. After that it kind of fizzled out. I did not want to demonstrate too much investment in a girl I had just met so I started chatting with other girls in the club.
Not quite sure what went wrong here. Would love some pointers from the masters.
Scenario 2
I met this HB7 at a bar on the dancefloor. I had already had a lot of social lubrication talking to chics for the past hour. This girl looked pretty so I approached her with a very smooth situational opener which I won't bother going into.
Soon after we were rubbing against each other and I was kissing her neck, it all escalated very quickly ~5 min. We mutually went in for the kiss.
However, due to my sexual inexperience I did not realize that she was going to use tongue. I totally failed at the kiss. At this point, she pretty much left the club (saw her leaving) before I could reinitiate anything.
Scenario 3
The last and final one was very interesting. I had met this HB8 at one of the bars and we had a brief conversation very late in the night ~3 AM. At that point, I was really tired to I did not really try anything.
However, a couple nights later we were out in another bar. I already had some social proof because there were 2 HB8s in my social circle. She walked in soon after and pretty much gave me an IOI immediately by hugging me. She was with a girlfriend, who she introduced to me as well. It was pretty much on from that moment onwards.
We moved to another bar where I met her again. We had a good 15~30 min convo where I built comfort and did kino. Later, we moved to the dance floor where she started taking selfies of her and I. Again, it was not too loud so we could continue talking intermediately. Further, I was with many friends who kept coming and high-fiving me etc increasing my social value.
I was kind of nervous cuz of my sexual inexperience although I did not show it. I decided to try something new. I generally follow the PUA rule of never buying women drinks but this time I could clearly notice she was into me so I decided to give it a shot. We went to the bar and I got 2 tequila shots. She wasn't a shot person but tried it anyway when I said that she should try new things. We again began dancing and I began kino. At some point, she wanted to go to the bathroom. She pretty much dragged me through the crowded club by the hand. I did the squeeze hand test and she reacted positively by squeezing back. When she got back we chatted for a bit again and she even mentioned something about "bad sex" to which I didn't really have a good response. I said something along the lines of "There's no such thing as bad sex".
Moving forward, we moved to the dance floor and here is when I decided to make my move. I was already doing kino and tried to go in for the kiss twice. Both times she turned away. I was really confused at this point considering she had given me all the signals. The crowd broke us apart for a bit and I spoke with a couple of my friends at the bar during this time.
After this it was pretty much downhill. She was dancing by herself and I kept trying to kino her and dance with her. However, she pretty much told me to "stop and lets be friends!" at some point. At this point, I obviously stopped totally dumbfounded how I had been friendzoned. I still am dumbfounded actually about this one scenario.
Some stuff I need help with:
- Due to my inexperience I am not a good kisser. How do I get good at it? I realize bad kissing is a huge turnoff for women. They pretty much run off when I start kissing. It's a little bit of a chicken and egg situation.
- Where did I go wrong in the above scenarios? Looking forward to pointers and advice.
- Help with closing! I am good at building attraction and comfort I think.
- All advice is appreciated. Looking forward to responses from the PUA masters.
I am not too disappointed with myself because I have come a long way since I started. At the same time I want to accelerate my learning process and get good with women ASAP.
Appreciate the responses!
CHAT
