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But please, don't confront her verbally, or let your self-esteem be rocked by this one chick.
I know exactly how stupid confronting her verbally would be. Thankfully I do not have the urge to do so nor do I see any point in it.
My self esteem will be fine most likely, but thank you for the kind words.
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I get the pedestal idea from how he excuses her lying whether or not they were serious. She owes him nothing but if they were supposedly open about other flings it's still dishonest. That an the fact she owns the frame of whether sex will happen... Nothing necessarily wrong with it but she knows she has him. By the amount of time they together to start. As I said I just encourage the guy to proceed and escalate better.
Ok, look. I don't know why you think she lied about us being serious, because that's a conversation we never even had. Yes we used to talk about side projects, and that's normal up to a point. But once you start getting "close", the constructiveness of those types of talks goes out the window. It's like push/pull. It works wonders, unless you over-push it.
She never said "he's just a friend" and then went fucking him behind my back. I don't even know whether or not there's something there and frankly I don't care. I just assumed he was friendzoned because that was my read on the guy.
However, I will agree with you on the sex frame thing. Yes, she does own it. But isn't that usually the case? Owning it myself never happened unless I wasn't really attracted to the girl in the first place and couldn't give a shit less about her. Which is hardly any fun for me.
I never said she lied about being serious with you. Look, she didn't tell you about a guy she liked that you know. That's a fact. As I said..doesnt mean she's a bad girl or something, it's just a fact. The way you keep changing that as if I'm saying fuck the cheating whore or something screams to me the whole pedestaling thing I stated. It's not to demotivate you..it's not to bash her..it's not to make you do anything but realize a fact..she didn't tell you. Her reasons could be whatevr and they could be good. I'm not harping on her for keeping a secret but she kept a secret. There is no judgement on her with that statement so don't see one. If I meet a girl for a one night stand and she doesn't tell me her correct name or she hides some info from me..it's not a big deal but the fact is she hid something. Your reluctance to just say oh yeah she did keep that from me when I thought we were both being open.. Oh well..is what makes me see over investment. Again it doesn't mean she's a bad person..it just tells you she wasn't as open as you thought. Fact. It doesn't have to mean she hid something so she's xyz it just means she hid something and wasnt being open as you believed.
Good luck and just change things up when you get her alone.
CHAT
