Girlfriend is an alocholic



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PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2015 6:10 pm 
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I am concerned since a girlfriend of mine is an alcoholic. Personally, I enjoy drinking, and at times drink a lot. Although I would not say I am an alcoholic. (If anything a highly functional alcoholic, but I do not think that is the case).

Anyways a girlfriend of mine always seems to be drinking, which I do not necessarily mind so long as alcohol does not get in the way of her getting things done. Unfortunately, the alcoholic is getting her into some bad situations. Another problem is lapses in memory when she drinks too much.

No surprise, she has a lot of daddy issues. I do not really judge her or preach to her, I do not think that is my job. I honestly believe it will get better through maturity, or when she experiences a lot of discomfort because of the consequences of drinking.

She loves me out, we are intimate a lot, and always have a good time together. My biggest concern is she is going to drink too much and get taken advantage of, or perhaps she might get too wasted and cheat. Not sure if she would remember everything either.

I tend not worry about this stuff, plus I do not see any other red flags. Other than drinking too much she is the perfect type of girl: always caring, always interested, always trying to make me happy, and not a mean bone in her body. It has never been my style to condemn the behavior of others, or claim that others are not behaving properly. I have always been a no judgements type of guy, but I am not sure if I should just keep riding this one out hoping it gets better.


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PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2015 8:28 pm 
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PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2015 9:15 pm 
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Its also your Job as a boyfriend to be a leader and help her if you see her going down a path that could potentially be Fatal. If I knew there was a hole down the road you were driving and I didn't tell you, would you trust me as a friend?

A woman is going to naturally take on the behaviors that her boyfriend is into, so if you truly wanted her to stop drinking, you wouldn't have to tell her to. All you would need do is tell her you're going to stop drinking for a little while because of " xyz" and within a couple weeks she will follow suit.

I've noticed this pattern with all of my ex girlfriends, and I would even experiment with it at times.

If you really want her to stop, stop first yourself. She'll follow. You won't even have to say a word.

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PostPosted: Mon May 11, 2015 1:43 am 
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sounds like one of the girls I am dating. Except she is addicted to cigarettes. I personally would address the issue, and help her without pushing the envelope too much. She has to make the decision on her own, you can't logically reason with women (most of the time).

have done what Eddie has said and tried to motion for this girl to get her life together. I talk about and always throw in the things I have accomplished during the week for her to see that I am not just a hot young stud. I am proactively working towards a better life. Sometimes she follows suit and tries to do the same. She stumbles along the way and I help her up.

Right now my main focus is to show her I don't need alcohol or smokes. And she has cut down smoking. Progress is progress.

Model the way my friend. The girl will pick up your lead.

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PostPosted: Mon May 11, 2015 7:23 am 
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I'm done being a saint. If she can't handle her own shit she will not be around me.

Life gets better when you find someone just as functional as you, instead of trying to bring someone to your own level.

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PostPosted: Mon May 11, 2015 7:45 am 
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Quote:
I'm done being a saint. If she can't handle her own shit she will not be around me.

Life gets better when you find someone just as functional as you, instead of trying to bring someone to your own level.
You can't love someone sober.


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PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2015 7:17 pm 
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Quote:
Its also your Job as a boyfriend to be a leader and help her if you see her going down a path that could potentially be Fatal. If I knew there was a hole down the road you were driving and I didn't tell you, would you trust me as a friend?

A woman is going to naturally take on the behaviors that her boyfriend is into, so if you truly wanted her to stop drinking, you wouldn't have to tell her to. All you would need do is tell her you're going to stop drinking for a little while because of " xyz" and within a couple weeks she will follow suit.

I've noticed this pattern with all of my ex girlfriends, and I would even experiment with it at times.

If you really want her to stop, stop first yourself. She'll follow. You won't even have to say a word.
I am more of a social drinker, at least half of the time, she brings the alcohol and tries to convince me to drink. Sometimes I abstain, sometimes I drink a lot, other times I have a little. I am not really in the business of fixing people. Other times when we go to a party I choose to remain sober or only have a few drinks. I suppose I am of the mindset that she will make enough mistakes that she will just figure it out on her own. In the end, I want her to feel like cutting back was her idea, and not the result of my influence.


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