Hello, I don't really go on the site anymore because although I think it's good, I think just trying in the field is enough. You learn in practice right? I didn't know where to post this because it's not about gaming but it's a sticking point for me because it happens often in bars and clubs.

I was in one of my favourite bars with a group of people, they were all significantly drunker than I (there always has to be at least 1 person in the group that can handle bad situations) and the party was good, we were having fun, dancing, talking and laughing. We had these too 2 stools by the dance floor and the stools have a tall leather couch like type of seating behind it, but only 2 normal sized people can fit on the couch sitting so they can lean on the stool. I was sitting on the couch with a girl and we were having a break from dancing so we were talking and sipping our drinks, after a while I had to go to the WC and as I returned there was this Spanish looking guy in my seat and my friend wasn't there. Apparently the people that were right next to us didn't see him. My friend came back, she went for a drink. So I tell the guy in English ( the bar has many tourists ) that he's sitting in our spot and if he'd be kind enough to leave. I'm pretty sure I actually said it like that, so it seems really polite to me. He kept sitting there. I then told him that the table is 'occupado' I don't speak Spanish but I was sure he'd understand that for some reason. He left, I thanked him. He felt AMOGed I suppose because he was like 40+- and I'm 18

Me and my friend were sitting there again talking, having a pleasant time and about 10 minutes later I see the Spanish man talking to his friends and it seemed as if they were encouraging him to confront me before they leave the club, it was about 4 am. The man comes and says aggressively: "table occupado ?!" which I admittedly found quite funny but I didn't laugh. The man suddenly pushed my drink over, spilling it over me and my friend and wanted to fight. Now the question is, should I have punched the man rightfully, even though everyone else was really drunk, having a good time and I was sitting next to my friend and she's rather small and could get hurt? I think about the consequences. They were leaving and they just wanted a confrontation, should I have given them that satisfaction? What I actually did was I laughed at him and gave him the thumbs up and said, "there's no problem."

PS: I realise this isn't entirely a PUA post but it's a situation we've all been in or will be in. Now I personally think I handled myself right but then again the guy did push my drink over, pouring it on me and my friend.
Thought please.

I think you did the right thing. You didn't react to his action the way he wanted you to and in the end the one who reacts less shows more demonstration of higher value. Reacting less in any situation like that always demonstrates that you are the one in control and you are very comfortable with the situation that you do not need to react, if that makes sense.

It does, I also simply don't see the point when somebody tells me how last weekend they got into a fight with another person. If someone has fun with violence they do not belong in a bar or a club, it should be for drinking, dancing, conversing, meeting new people etc.

Nothing to be gained from a fight. Even if you're started on you'll lose the girl unless she's a scumbag.

Seen it happen with what seemed to be a seasoned PUA in a bar I was at. He walked up to the hottest girl there and almost had a close on her then some random guy came up and started giving him grief, getting in his face and all sorts of shit. He had his mates behind him too. Guy was just looking for a fight and there was no way out of it. The PUA(I'm fairly certain) just ended up punching him and walking away. Some guy got in between them just before the punch. I'd have been pissed off too 'cause this chick was a HB10 true and true. She was almost untouchable and then some randomer just tried to pick a fight with this PUA for no reason, probably because he was jealous or something.

PUA lost face after the punch. He knew it was over so he didn't let it phase him, he just got up, walked away and didn't look back at your one. She just poked her head around the corner and looked disgusted that he pulled the first punch even though it wasn't him looking for a fight.

Don't fight or punch someone unless you absolutely have to. In the case of the PUA at the bar I was at he did well. If he didn't punch first i'm pretty sure that scumbag starting a fight would have punched him and just kept laying into him. Instead, because the PUA punched first, the guy was surprised and caught off guard giving the other guy time to just turn around and walk away.

No, never fight man, i've never been in one in my life but from what i've heard nothing good ever comes from it, it destroys your social value too getting angry or aggressive, besides you'll end up beaten up and arrested, maybe even charged with assault and if you won the fight the girl will think you're violent and can't control your emotions, if you lose you're a pussy, in fact arrogance can be even less attractive to women than neediness. If you DONT fight she'll know you're the better man being able to control a heated moment in your favour. Best thing to do in a heated moment is nothing, don't change your facial expression or your stance, i'd just sort of look at him confused, if you give a man nothing when he gives you something he has nothing to work from. If you surrender and say something like 'Sorry buddy ill just leave now' and be genuine that will look bad on the girl, however if you were to say 'Oh right, sorry about that ol chap ' it makes him look stupid but if he's really pissed and you feel banter might make it worse, just go pokerfaced, look him dead in the eyes and wait for him to make the move, he's the one that started this but he's going to make you BOTH look bad if you comply

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Why ask a girl generic and boring questions like 'How are you, where you from?' when you can ask "Whats the craziest thing you've done, what was your first kiss like?"

It's really up to you. I've been in these situations a number of times. They always ruin the night, and sometimes they eat on me. The same questions go through my mind that goes through any guys mind that has backed down from a fight. "Am I a coward? What does everyone think of me now that I didn't stand up to that guy? I must be a pussy." These are the thoughts that invade our minds after a confrontation, and every guy has dealt with this at some point in their life.
Sometimes I use body language and a voice of disgust when other guys try to pick shit with me. " Thanks a lot, dude," as I'm walking away, shaking my head at him in disgust. The tone of voice makes him look like a fool.
The other thing that I've done is to befriend him, "Really? You want to fight me. Look, dude, everyone here is just out to have a good time. I don't think anyone in here is looking for a fight. Relax, man, and have a drink. Get to know some people. You seem like a cool guy." Then pat him on the shoulder in a friendly manner. I've gotten out of so many fights using this technique.
Truth is, if you are a pua or womanizer, people are going to pick shit with you. That's all there is to it. It's funny how when I sucked at game no one ever messed with me. But as I got good and started having women hang on me and getting good make outs and the like, I started running into a lot of guys who wanted to fight me. It happens almost every weekend now, when before I was good at pick up, it only happened maybe once a month.
I've learned to just ignore the insults or the stare downs. If you're peackocked out and have women sitting on your lap, and stuff like that, guys get jealous and mad and want to fight. The only time I confront is if someone invades my space, and then I try to back the guy off and befriend him.
As a pua you shouldn't fight. If I fought every time a dude in a bar tried to pick shit with me, I'd be getting into more fights than banging chicks. What would be the point of that?

There is absolutely nothing to be gained by fighting. Nothing. At best, you will lose significant social value. At worst, you'll get arrested and a criminal record.

A few people might have witnessed the guy pushing over your drink, and it's possible you MIGHT have lost social value in the eyes of one or two women. There's also the possibility that you might have gained social value by not reacting.

If you had reacted, far more attention would be drawn to you. Bouncers nowadays are quick on the draw, and they'll kick you out first and maybe ask questions later. At 4 am police may be around looking for troublemakers, and if they're around when the bartenders throw you out you may very well be taken into custody.

Just don't do it. Unless you feel that there is an unavoidable threat of violence, never engage someone in a fight in a nightclub type environment.

its kind of a catch 22 really. If you fight back you lose the girl, if you dont and get beaten up you lose the girl. Its not like the films where the girl takes u back to her place and dabs cotton wool on your wounds.

The only thing to do is calmly and firmly diffuse the situation with your words. But if the other guy isnt leaving there without a fight, forget the girl, do whatever you can to ensure your own safety.

I always agreeded that fighting is just a beta way of sorting anything out,you get no social value and you prove yourself as weak.Fighting as a sport has huge social value booster.Perfect way of handling an aggressive dick. +1

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"Life is a chance,take all the ones you get".

I think you did the right thing man.

But I wouldn't go so far to say fighting will reduce your value. Especially if you win. I experienced this myself personally, after winning a fight and the word gets around the party. All the girls usually come starring and asking you questions.

Its a respect thing. Sometimes you have to defend your dignity.

You wrote this post because you felt like you should of. And now you're looking for us to tell you that "Nah its okay man". You feel weak about the decision and thats why you're on a PUA forum for this situation when you haven't been on the forum much.

I can speak for these guys. But win or lose, you always feel better when you defend yourself physically than when you don't in these kind of situations. Fighting has been around as long as humans have been around. All animals do it. Its apart of nature. Sure we have laws in place against it, but that doesn't take away from how Natural it actually is.

Only a Beta is going to tell you that fighting is completely beta. Starting fights is beta(and not always, because the guys i new starting fights had all the girls going up), but defending yourself when put in situation to is completely alpha.

But i wouldn't expect most of this forum to understand.

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I have both been in fights and had the shit beaten out of me by bouncers who intervened in my one and only bar fight.

I have also seen several other guys getting their asses whooped by overzealous bouncers.

Of course nothing is wrong with defending yourself if you're in a situation where it's obvious that you're physically threatened. Other than that, I'd personally avoid.

You can throw all the stupid PUA-isms for being willing to walk away from a fight. But I'd much rather be called beta by a few chicks who are replaceable than get in a physical altercation that can cause serious physical damage.

I can rebuild my dignity or respect in another venue and with other chicks the next night. Not so easily for a broken tooth, scratched eye, or injured ribs.

It's not about the chick for me. Its about my own personally dignity. I'm not going to let someone walk up to me and eat the food on my plate just because i have the money to buy more.

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