I've been playing the online game long enough to know not to get too down if you don't score with every girl you meet, but sometimes the sting of a really bad failure lingers longer than it should. I'm wondering how you guys deal with this sort of thing.

My story: I was talking to a true hottie from OkCupid who immediately asked for my number and we started texting. Everything was going great. She's the type who sends a bunch of random selfies and a few of them were even a little suggestive. After just a day of talking we were making flirty/sexual jokes to each other and she was really invested in the conversation.

Yesterday she told me she was taking her dog for a walk by the river and I was welcome to join her. Since I had the day off, I obliged and drove down to meet her. She was blowing up my phone with smiley faces and things like "I'm really excited to meet you." "Don't judge me if my hair is messy it's really windy!" It just seemed like I had it in the bag.

Then we met... Immediately I could see the disappointment on her face and she forced herself to make eye contact with me and quickly glanced away. She didn't smile or laugh at all, and just started taking her dog for a brisk walk to which I followed. I tried acting unfazed and used my typical jokes and stories that almost always get girls laughing. She barely acknowledged anything I was saying and just gave the bare minimum answers. I've never had someone make me feel more unwanted/worthless/ugly so plainly.

After like 15 minutes of walking she returned to her car and told me she had a hair appointment in a half hour and had to go. I generally have a rule where I kiss on the first date but I just couldn't bring myself to try as I felt so awful. We said goodbye and that was that. Naturally, she did not text me the rest of the day and ignored my attempted restart text this afternoon.

It's crazy to me because my pictures aren't deceptive in any way to my knowledge. I've met so many women online and none of them have ever reacted that way to me. But the feeling of failure and rejection stung so hard. I actually had another date planned for later last night and while it didn't go nearly as poorly, I still felt some of my bad vibes were apparent and probably ruined that one too.

It makes me want to ask her directly what it was that turned her off so much, because it was so instant. Was I shorter than she thought? Uglier? Who knows... I know it's terrible as a PUA to dwell on these things but it's really an alarming contrast.

Your pictures will always make you look a bit more polished but women aren't looking at you for your physical features once they get your in person as much as you would think.

I've had some of the most ripped up, clear skin, handsome clientele that you will ever see in your life and they tell me they've only gotten "lucky", they struggle to actually get laid. Some others have had year long dry spells. So if you telling me that this is all looks whats their problem?

Have you ever had a girl tell you her friend was hot.. and then you see her friend and are like "she is not hot" to yourself?

Thats become her friend isn't necessary judging her off of her physical looks as much as the spirit that she possesses.

What got this girl was the spirit you were projecting. The thoughts of her that were influencing your frame. I can tell based off your post you were a bit tense, nervous, and not fully rooted in your confidence as you were other times.

I've never had this experience per say, I'm usually the one being super disappointed with the girl, but I have gotten blown out of normal approaches in the harshest ways. And I think I'm the most attractive man on the planet. It hurts for you. The ego goes into hiding for a few days, but you push on, continue and it will poke its head once again.

Don't hit her up anymore bro. Heal and grow stronger.

Emotional fortitude is a muscle. You work it out, it rips, and grows back stronger. So it will take a girl twice as harsh to make you feel this way next time. Embrace the pain. Pain will only result in growth. You'll be better because of it in the days ahead.

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Be thankful that she blew you out. Do you really want to be with someone who is incongruent with how they acted before they met you?

I had the same thing happen to me a few years back. OKCupid. Got the girl. She deleted her profile because she 'found everything she was looking for'. We had long chats. Took awhile for us to nail a date but we finally did. I met her in a library. First I saw her, I could see that she was just like, nope, and was cold, distant, was reading the flyers and stuff on the wall. Then she made an excuse it was too cold and she was too busy at University to go for the walk we had intended going on.

I walked her back to her dorm and I knew it was over. I didn't care. I was going to do the manly thing and engage no matter how cold she was to me. Fuck it. So, before I go to kiss her.. "Let's save the kissing for the next date". I said to myself, there's no second date. I agreed, "Sure, a hug then." And she shook her head. "No". I looked at her incredulously. Like this isn't socially acceptable. Sure, you don't like me the way you did online but we talked fine, you weren't interested, it's a friendly goodbye and nothing sexual. "No?" and she affirmed.. "No." I shrugged and walked away. I didn't text her. I got home that night and I sat down with my Mother and said, I'm done, I'm done with girls, I'm going to focus on finishing University and when I have my career then I'll worry about it.

She texted me a week later asking what I thought about her. I was honest, I told her that she was one of the more rude, cold human beings I ever had the displeasure of being with. That it was no big deal that she didn't feel anything for me in person but to completely de-humanize me in a way that made me feel like I was so repulsive she wouldn't let me hug her is just a horrendous way to be. She just apologized she wasn't attracted to me and that was that.

Two weeks later, I went on a date with the girl of my dreams and we dated for 2 years before she got Grass is Greener syndrome due to a sequence of unfortunate events, bad moves by my parts, urging from bad influences and a guy who was running a boyfriend-destroyer routine on her at work who was conveniently moving away around the same time period offering her a free place to live.

My advice. Don't let one horrible experience ruin you. The girl of your dreams could be two weeks away. Just don't forget to keep giving her the rocks.