Long story short. Dating a girl, not exclusive, more invested in her than I should be.

I can't help it. I know it shouldn't be that way but it is what it is so those are the facts. Call me needy, onitised, what-have-you. I already know that and knowing it will help the future, not the present. Right, so, one dude she works with on the same project is constantly talking to her. And she's replying.

I cannot figure out whether he's in the friendzone or not, but they have very different demographics. He's not her type at all and even told me she's not attracted to him in the slightest ever since before we started dating. She also told me who she was into, since we used to talk about side-projects, so lying makes little sense. But so does talking as much to someone you have no romantic interest in. Or not?

The point is I'm trying not to be hypocritical here. Everything is fair game until we decide it isn't, but it's slowly ripping at me. I feel it's tearing at my confidence levels. It is affecting me even tho I hate admitting that.

I don't know how long I'll be able to keep my frame and not show it, but if I break I will fuck this up. Which I'm fine with, live and learn, but I'd really rather prevent it.

_________________
If you wanna survive you have to be willing to die.

Sorry bro, but when you first learn to snowboard you will hit the ground. A lot. And it will be your fault. There's just no way around it. Sure with the proper guidance and willingness to learn you'll progress faster, but you will fail nonetheless.

It's all about your mentality. Everyone wants to succeed, but almost no one wants to go through the grind and failures. So be willing to fail. It's not about how bad do you want it, it's about how much you're willing endure to get there.

You will go through absolute cringe-worthy rejections, soul-shattering disappointments and moments that will keep you up at night. I still remember my harshest rejection like it happened 5 minutes ago. I'm laughing writing about it now, but I was not laughing then.

Be brave. That's the most valuable thing I can say to you.
For this alone you have my respect. What you believe in will eventually become who you are. You may not be there just yet but do you have the potential? fuck yea you do.
And the fact that she's talking to that guy so much does nothing but condition you. Many hot girls will have orbiters around them. It's just how it is and the faster you become immune to that the better.

Do your best to stay cool headed. Push through and pro-actively fight against letting it affect your decision making and personality.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

I concur with everything RC has already said.

And let me just add, that a girl will only continue to do the things that she knows you will put up with. You're relationship is on its way out the door and it will be completely doomed because you are currently unwilling to walk away. You're clinging on despite something that goes against your gut. The only girls in my past that would maintain contact with orbiters were the girls that I would hesitate to leave if they did. The girls that I wouldn't tolerate it from never did it. I didn't have to say it. Women are intuitive. They pick up on what a guy likes and what he doesn't like through his frame and sub communication.

I don't believe everyone will have to learn this lesson, but because we're in this 21 century instant microwave age many men do not have the control over there emotions as men once had in the past. Men now are a lot more liberal and tolerable of anything and because of it, people are doing anything. The more tolerable you are of your woman the more you will have to tolerate. I treat my women like the queen she is, but I'm the king and I will not tolerate any behavior that i do not deem favorable for our future. She knows this and she respect it. But she ONLY respects it because she knows that in my heart of hearts I would WALK THE FUCK AWAY if she didn't.

It took lots of trail and error for me to become this way. I was like you. And then I realized that the only women that gave me real problems only gave them to me during the times in which I wasn't willing to walk away. They NEVER gave me problems during my highest points.

I always tell guys.. " Your willingness to give second chances is the reason people fuck up the first time." if someone knows they can eat off your plate without asking you and you will say nothing about it. Or treat the same if they did, why wouldn't they do it?

This is going to hurt, but it is going to make you better. And just remember that there WILL be another girl. I don't give a fuck what your thoughts may tell your during the moment. Those are thoughts that are a result of the emotional chemical reactions occurring in the body at this point in your life. There will be another girl and there WILL be a BETTER girl who is more suitable for you at the period of your life in which you meet her.

You're emotionally unstable and if you're in america its largely a result of over ejaculation, poor diet, and lack of natural sunlight. You have to keep your physical body in order to retain greater control over you thoughts. Getting the girl is easy. ANY guy can get the girl. Keeping the girl in the way you want her is what men are seeming to find a challenge in 2015.

When you first meet girl she is always on her best behavior, because at that point you are most willing to WALK AWAY. You haven't invested much and so you will walk if need be. From that point, the more and more you cling and are less willing to walk, the more and more she will give you shit as a testament to the lack of strength you are displaying. You only get what you will tolerate from women.

Now, women(many, not all) are also a product of this age. Attacking an every sign of weakness. They've been condition to test more due to there horrid upbringings, just as men have been conditioned to be more tolerable and emotional. I am not absolving them of any blame, but as a man, as a leader, I have to take full responsibility for the direction of the relationship. So I have to be more strict, because I understand the nature of the times and how disconnected almost all of us become from our true natures. The PUA fight is partially a fight of men trying to return to the origins of what made them men in the past. The divorce rate is up 55%, the relationship rate is obviously even worse. It wasn't always this way.

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com

This is the statement that you've made that bothers me the most. You've recognized what the problem is, but the only person that is keeping you from solving the problem is yourself. Saying that you can't do anything about it is a self defeating mindset. It gives you false hope that things will get better on its own if you just wait it out. The fact is that you have numerous options to fix this, but you have to find that acceptable option for yourself. All of the options boil down to three things...Accept it, reject it, or change it.

_________________
mpuaforum.proboards.com

I can't help it because I don't know how, not because I'm literally incapable of it.

Like I said, I want to accept it. I want it to not bother me. And it doesn't, logically. Emotionally is a different story though.

I guess I just need to condition myself to it.

_________________
If you wanna survive you have to be willing to die.

I'm trying to give up porn and masturbating. It fucks with me, no doubt about it. Used to do it once / day, now it's once / 2 weeks. Looking forward to eliminate it all together in the near future. I also eat on a good diet, because gym and sports.

I'd say I'm semi-willing to walk away. It's like playing the lottery in a sense. Of-course I'd love to win the jackpot, but not winning it won't mean the end of the world. So I keep playing.
Also there's no doubt in my mind that there's better or at least just as good girls out there for me.

I know she'll do things I put up with. And like I said above, I want to put up with it. Because it doesn't bother me on a rational scale, only emotionally. And my emotions, at the moment, are the result of some insecurities I'm trying to eliminate.

I have clear boundaries, but this is not one of them.

_________________
If you wanna survive you have to be willing to die.

I kind of though it already was who I am. Guess I was a bit wrong, lol.
Keeping your emotions at bay is one thing, but not getting stirred up by whatever is not so easily done. It doesn't really feel as if you have much control over it until you've went through it enough times.

This is the hardest struggle at the moment. Figuring out if the decisions I make I make because I want to and that alone, or because I'm looking for a reaction, a form of validation or otherwise neediness inspired behavior.

_________________
If you wanna survive you have to be willing to die.

To be honest bro, you sound the guy thats about to get left at what he feels to be "Out of no where" in less than a month.

Theres no such thing as "Semi" scoring the goal, or semi making the game winning shot, or semi winning the race. Its just a way for the loser to feel better about the lost. You either make it or you don't. This has to be emphatic. The moment you lost that edge, you lose the frame in the relationship that makes your women feel like she can both respect and trust you.

There clearly is doubt. I know you know in the back of your mind that there is a better girl. Of course. But you're not rooted in that reality. You don't believe it necessarily, you just no it exists, because in no way is it being reflected in your attitude. You're just wishful thinking.

And even the biggest non getting girl nerd on the planet has some clear boundaries. He's not going to let a woman beat him over the head with a bat. You're boundaries are things that make you feel a certain way, just as this situation is. If you are to be stone cold unaffected by anything and everything what would anyone who's reached that level need any boundaries for? The point is, what she is doing "bothers you a lot", but you shrug it off and accept it anyway. Just like a dude accepts a woman calling him a "pussy".. Why should that make him mad? Its just a word. Theres no logic behind why he shouldn't accept that.

Just keep in mind that I'm speaking to a mentality I know very well. I once had it. I'm not talking to a guy I'm trying to help. I'm here telling my old self what would of helped him in the past.

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com

Ok, fair enough. Let's assume you're right.

So what do I do? It's not like I can flat out tell her stop texting that guy when you're with me.

_________________
If you wanna survive you have to be willing to die.

Its more so advice for the future. Once this runs its course. It's appears that its been going on for far too long.. It would be like trying to stop a snow ball from rolling downhill once its picked up steam and become a larger one. The sooner you stop it the easier it will be.

Now what you can do if this really bothers you is address it during a moment when the moon is right. Don't address it while she's texting him or directly after she finishes, emotions will be too high and it will be too much of a reaction. The next time you and her are during a moment of "love" when everything is right. Bring it up.. "Hey, I'm not too much of a fan of when you text xyz during xyz". A women is likely to do anything you ask if she is asked to while the moon is right. Guys start yelling during the moment and that gets them no where. All she hears is yelling or negative emotion and tunes out. You have to be alert and catch yourself during the moments of love to bring up issues you would like corrected.

But once again.. If she so decides to "not respect" your feelings what will be the consequence? If there is none why listen? If there was no penalty from breaking the laws of a country, who would abide by them?

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com