Shy guy needing help



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 Post subject: Shy guy needing help
PostPosted: Mon Apr 20, 2015 12:04 pm 
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Hi Brothers,

New to the community here and just read through the stickies.
Hope to get some advice to change my current situation! :oops:

I've been single for quite some time and hoping to get into a relationship.
There's this new temp staff in my office that i'm interested in.

I'm cheerful guy in office and my colleague will usually crowd around for some chit chat and fun.
However, when i'm around this girl, i just get super nervous and can't think of anything to say to her.

It has been 2 months since she is here and she will be leaving in a month's time.
There isn't any sort of kino escalation and i believe she is starting to think of me as weird guy as i usually get dumbstruck around her.

Added her on facebook but did not get accepted and she did not save my number. :cry:

Will be going on a weeks leave, hope to change the situation when i'm back. (Not much time left as she is leaving in a month's time.)

Hope to get some tips from you guys to salvage the situation.


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 Post subject: Re: Shy guy needing help
PostPosted: Mon Apr 20, 2015 4:16 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 13, 2013 6:17 pm
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Location: Toronto, Canada
Quote:
There isn't any sort of kino escalation and i believe she is starting to think of me as weird guy as i usually get dumbstruck around her.
This should be your first clue.
Quote:
Added her on facebook but did not get accepted and she did not save my number. :cry:
This should be your second.

If she ever WAS interested in you (and it really does not sound like she was from my side...) 2 months of non-action on your part was more than enough for her to stop waiting for you to make a move.

You ever going to see this girl again if you don't ask her out before she leaves? If the answer is no - then what do you have to lose (besides your job if you're both still working there and there are HR rules... I would check this before acting).

Don't overcomplicate it... Just pop by her desk and ask if she wants to grab a coffee... Treat it like a mini date.


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 Post subject: Re: Shy guy needing help
PostPosted: Mon Apr 20, 2015 9:30 pm 
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I agree with CharlesFinley. You could also invite her out for happy hour as it's a "normal" thing to do and game her normally there.

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 Post subject: Re: Shy guy needing help
PostPosted: Tue Apr 21, 2015 8:14 pm 
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Its very well possible that she didn't accept your friend request on Facebook because she likes you and is nervous about you seeing further into her life without getting to know her first. I've had this happen a number of times. Girls that liked me the most would be nervous about me being able to go through their tagged photos - seeing what they "used" to look like and risk losing attraction for them.

But on another note, your over mental investment in a girl that you have yet to even speak to really would signal a man that is producing the frame necessary to create that attraction.

With only a month to work with you're going to have to do the cliche and just "go for it" . The sooner the better. The longer you wait the tougher it will be and more cowardly it will come across. Wait until the girls about to leave and you look like a chump, and thats the chump thing to do.

I'd ask her out if I were you. And you can be completely transparent..

" Hey, I get nervous around you. I don't get it. But I think you're interesting and i'd like to go out with you this once to see if i can figure this out. What do you say? "

Go for something man. And just be open, and be yourself.

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Last edited by Eddie Fews on Wed Apr 22, 2015 12:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Shy guy needing help
PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 12:11 am 
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Brother man, you've wasted a lot of time, the girls should have been yours by now or maybe you would be going for a 2nd if not third lay now. All I can say the next time you see the girl open her , get a rapport and try to number-close! Show her your true intentions . All the best!


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 Post subject: Re: Shy guy needing help
PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 6:07 am 
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Do you have a position of power at your work. (not needed nessearily) do you think she likes you. Have you ever noticed if she gave you any opportunities to talk to her. Also, what exactly have you told her? Have you talked to her at all before about anything smart? Now that i think about it, it does seem pretty strange that she didnt add you on facebook. Well anyhow, add me on facebook too, i could use the backup fb.com/yovany.munoz.58. I could also help you talk to her or think of something to say .


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 Post subject: Re: Shy guy needing help
PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 7:38 am 
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Joined: Tue Mar 24, 2015 2:53 pm
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Hi brothers,

Thanks for all the advice and suggestion.

I will just man up and ask her out when i'm back.

Had actually tried asking her out for department outing, wad rejected both time but no harm trying again i guess. Nothing much to lose even if i failed.

Wish me luck guys.

@yovanymunoz our topics are pretty random, mostly about her hobbies i guess. not much chance to speak to her.
About opportunities, does her messaging me to enjoy my holiday counts? It started because she had some work stuff to ask me.

Pretty sure i'm over-thinking and it properly does not mean anything. Have not reply her tho


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