I have such a bad habit of interviewing girl :/ not sure when I started doing it but I've been doing it for a long time now and didn't notice until my friends pointed it out saying I ask to many questions. So recently I have tried not asking any questions but it is impossible. The reason I ask questions is because I am generally interested in what the girl has to say for example....

Normal intro.....

Me: That's pretty interesting are you a jockey ? and I work full time.

Her: Yea I am just got my license so haven't ridden in a race just yet but will do soon.

Me: That's pretty good then what sort of things do you need to qualify for a licence or can you just buy one ?

Her: No Christ haha anyone could do it then you get tested on a lot of thing mostly fitness you have to be very fit light enough and able to ride properly

Me: oh ok what made you want to get into it ? + have you got your own horse ?

Her: I have had horses all my life lol.. Yea I have about 6 but they are up in Scotland

Me: Oh so that's why your into horses then racing horses or just normal ones ?

.... And it just carries on like this. I ask the questions without thinking merly because I think it would be interesting to see a girl into something so different to just the norm of retail or admin. + I understand this one isn't interested in me but even the girls that do show a lot of interest get interviewed.

Can someone please help. By either giving me a structure or routine to help avoid questions? please don't reply with "just don't use questions bro" because I have tried not using them but it's hard to find a good substitute to keep the convo flowing.

Thanks in advance.

I don't see the problem. Is your questioning leading to anything bad?

When PUAs say that "interviewing is bad," they really mean boring questions like:
Whats your name
Where are you from
Do you come here often
What do you do for work
What did you study
What's your favorite color
Who are you voting for
How many miles does your car have
Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses

THAT'S a boring interview.

You, on the other hand, are actually asking questions from a place of genuine curiosity. That's good.

The only thing I would tell you to change is that you should go a little deeper with the questions to focus on her motivations and feelings (something that "interviewers" never do), and that you should reciprocate by connecting her responses with your own thoughts and feelings. That's what builds rapport and connection.

Oh, and you should reward her compliance more often by complimenting or high-fiving her when she gives a good answer to any of your questions or if she says anything where you can find a similarity with yourself.

Here's the thing. Everything in the world works in a dualistic, opposite mode.

> You have day, and you have night.
> You have good and you have bad.
> You breathe in, and you breathe out.

The same happens in the conversation. Every conversation has a PULSE.

Asking questions is one part of the pulse. It's like taking a breathe in.

HOWEVER, if you want to have a normal and natural conversation, you need to add the opposite pulse
which is making a COMMENT.

In my own conversations, I learned that there is a specific pulse to each conversation which consists
of asking about 2 questions...but then making 1 COMMENT.

So for example, when you ask a girl, "So what do you do?" and she answers with "I ride horses" you can
now ask another question.

You can say, "O you ride horses, that sounds so cool. What got you into it?"

Notice you've asked a second question.

So when she replies and says something like, "Well my dad was passionate about horses, and wanted me
to ride, and I also like it a lot..."

Now it's time for you to make a comment.

When it comes to making a comment, you want to quiet down your mind and notice what COMES UP for
you?

For me, when she said that her dad liked it, I remember how my dad liked bicycles and he transmitted
his passion onto me.

So I COMMENT on it.

I say, "Yes, I can relate to that. My dad used to love bicycles and he literally
transferred that bike passion onto me. "

And now, you ask ANOTHER question. You say something like, "So how long have you been riding horses?"

Make sense?

Now, sometimes after you make a comment, the girl will interrupt you and ask you questions about it.

When that happens, just go with the flow.

Hope this was helpful, and if you feel like you are having challenges with the approach anxiety itself, then
I invite you and anyone reading this to join my test group. Details in my signature.

Wish you all the best,

I've also made a video response. There is no advertising or selling moderator.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWwmATJo ... e=youtu.be

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Well the conversation above isn't too bad because you're not asking boring questions and you're showing genuine interest in what she is saying. But I would still mix it up a bit by mixing in some comments.

One way of making a comment is to qualify her like "You seem like you're really passionate about this. That's awesome. I love a girl that has something going for her more than her looks."

Or if you can relate to what she's saying in any way then share what you think or a story with her that is relevant.

Another way to mix it up is to cold read her based on what's she's saying. See if you can figure out something about her personality based on what's talking about.

I agree with Chief that you want to steer the conversation in an emotional direction.

And if you're in the earlier part of the interaction, then you also want to tease/banter with her a little bit. I wouldn't do a tease in the above conversation yet though because she was talking about something that she was really passionate about and that's usually not a good time to tease her.

Hey mate,

I feel you! I was in that rabbit hole before. I wrote a super indepth article on the topic of social conversation vs seductive conversation, which i will post below if you want to hear another opinion on it.

http://www.masculineintent.com/how-to-h ... ike-a-man/

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When people are asking constantly.. they are asking because they are trying to "get something"

I think you're caught up in that "trying to get" frame of mind and thats not going to get you any where.

You don't need a step by step game plan, you need a full switch in mentality.

Go into the interaction with the intention of trying to give and share your energy. Whether it be comical or sexual. Go in and give. Center your mind around giving..

Those interview questions made me feel like " What does he want? " Its awkward. Like when a homeless walks up to you in the city asking you questions. You just KNOW he wants something. The girls get the same impression. Some of these guys are emotionally homeless. They have nothing to offer, at least they don't believe they do so they spend so much energy trying to "get"

Go in to give.

You'll gain more understanding with more experience. Just go in giving.

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Your conversation is fine is you are genuinely curious. Listening is paying attention is a massive compliment to her if you are sincere, which helps her relax.. which is key.

Honestly man don't worry about any structures or routines or stuff. That sounded like a cool conversation. It's exactly what my interactions look like for part of it.

Now just try adding push/pull and you are golden. Just keep spiking her emotionally. I have a massive post about this online in my journal if you want some examples. You have a friendly social frame right now which means you are a cool guy and she probably likes you. Combine it with push pull and you are now and exciting, sexual guy and not just a cool guy.. if you know what I mean.

If you do this in real life girls will happily talk and chat away with you and will be very flattered. I am a curious person also so I can relate a lot to what you are saying. But it ends up in this weird neutral frame where there's no tension or conflict which makes her emotionally exciting for her. Conflict increases trust and intimacy between people if it has a playful vibe. That what creates tension and makes her want to do naughty things with you.

Try it out.

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Lol, I have been in those situations too many times.
The problem that you are doing is simply exchanging facts or asking for facts.

When you ask:
Me: That's pretty interesting are you a jockey ? and I work full time.

And she answers:
Her: Yea I am just got my license so haven't ridden in a race just yet but will do soon.

Why to ask her:
Me: That's pretty good then what sort of things do you need to qualify for a licence or can you just buy one ?

The first thing is to cut the introduction of new topics. Listen to her. Be selective about your topics. Preferable pick up on what she said. Stop using interrogative questions like When, What or Do you?
Use more interesting questions that involve How and Why?

Examples:
How did you become a jockey, that is not a woman's sport?
How horses treat women (you could be a bit funny here)
Why riding horses and not racing cars.. cars dont suffer when they crash?
Why do you like horse riding instead of playing basketball?

Also add a bit more beef to your questions..to make them a bit more longer, specific and linking to more interesting topics.

Why do you like such a fast sport? my friend studies psychology and he told me that people who are socially deviant like riding fast moving objects? Have you got many deep relationships with people or are you a person who likes spending her time on her own most the time?
(There is a small routine that I know which tests if a person has empathy..but I am not going to list it here).

If you had some interesting story to tell about buying a jockey license than you can go ahead and jump into talking about horse license. But if you just want to ask her questions since you have nothing else to think in your mind.. she will feel and notice it..and her opinion of you will be lower.
There is nothing wrong with interview style questioning.. if your questions are interesting and you show that you enjoy her answers and she actually doesnt mind being quetions (assuming she likes you)..they can work..because you gain a higher level of engagement eventually..which allows you to advance to further stages in the interaction.


Okay, the next questions:

She gives you here a log response and seems to be entertained..because of your weird goofy last question. So you accidently played your cards right.. basically you did some comedy by accident..
Her: No Christ haha anyone could do it then you get tested on a lot of thing mostly fitness you have to be very fit light enough and able to ride properly

Me: oh ok what made you want to get into it ? + have you got your own horse ?
You need to stop saying things like .. 'oh okay'.. did you just question her, let her finish and began another question? why not read a bit about the 'fishing theory'. Basically, pay attention on what she said.

If nothing is interesting from the answer she gave you, you could ask her 'if she has another horse' or any other question..but if you ask her...then I am assuming you are going to talk about and be interesting, not to simply hear it and ask her another question.

Her answer gave you a few elements that can be made into concepts:
- Fitness and riding horses.
- Fitness tests.

You could interrogate that fitness test and perhaps make a comedy on it. Comedy works when you exaggerate or underestimate or use reversals.. Look on youtube how Conan Obrien does it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-BkKCUBGwQ


Her again
Her: I have had horses all my life lol.. Yea I have about 6 but they are up in Scotland

Me: Oh so that's why your into horses then racing horses or just normal ones ?

Doesnt it interest you why she has 6 horses instead of one? Why she has had her horses all her life? are you listening? you seem to be a bit disconnected by asking her those questions.


The girl is quite friendly.. you dont get so many of them in my country.. and you might not meet as many of them in yours.

The only thing which is positive in your approach is that you can approach and ask questions. Still, with your approach you may take her on an instant date.. dont go for a phone close..cause with the way you pick up girls, she wont have a reason to accept your call.