I came to this forum back in October 2010 (
my first post) off the back of an
XKCD cartoon. At the time I was new in a town, didn't really know anyone and had my first job out of uni. At the time (aged 25), I'd never really done partying properly and I'd kissed 2 girls.
It took me a year and a half to have
my first real close. In that time I learned how to do canned game. It was utterly unnatural but I had some fun and it shocked me just how easily some of it worked.
This was the time when I begun to ask myself what I really wanted. I wanted a serious relationship that allowed me to be myself. That's when I realised that Mystery's game was not mine. I switched allegiance. I watched Sasha's daygame and couldn't get enough of his stuff; it suited my style.
I started to enjoy daytime approaches and my male friends started to be in awe of my ability to chat to hot girls. One of my favourite examples was when I was sitting in my friend's car and a hot girl walked past. She smiled at me, I smiled at her. I didn't want to miss the chance so I ran after her. With hindsight, this sounds quite rapey, it's fine - she didn't run. Nothing happened but I'm happy I took these chances.
My first real relationship followed soon after. It didn't last. It ended amicably and we slept together occasionally afterwards.
Sometimes, I'd just make friends with the people I chatted to and that lead to great things:
- One of these friends was from Budapest. On one occasion, I went to go visit her. Within 5 minutes of leaving the hotel for the first time I got chatting to the first attractive local I saw. Within 30 minutes we were at a bar. Within an hour we were kissing. We barely spoke the same language and I managed that. This was less than 2 years after I first heard of 'game'.
- On one night in Poland, I got talking to some girls on the table behind us. I wasn't interested in gaming them - I was still seeing the girl from Budapest. A couple of hours of friendly conversation later, we went our separate ways and I thought nothing more of it. On the plane on the way home, the stewardess said; "Excuse me, can I use your tray table for my safety demo props, oh and hello again". It was one of the group from the night before. Mid flight I discovered that I knew the entire air crew. By this time I knew enough IOIs to know this was good:"We're staying at X hotel, would you like to come visit us?", but again; I was already dating so I said no.
I started to develop interests that are attractive:
- I learnt psychology and now understand so much more than just dating behaviour
- I've learnt to play an instrument
- I've travelled and have awesome stories. It's great when you're in a restaurant on a date and you can show off by speaking with the waiter about when you visited his country and greet him in his own language.
- I've started doing circuits classes and gained friends through that
It also taught me to have friendly conversation with people when in bars/clubs.
- The most useful thing I ever did was to talk to a random guy in a club who happened to work in the same line of work as me. I played wingman for him and made friends. About a year later, my company announced redundancies. Within 2 minutes he'd lined me up with an interview at his company. I work there now earning more and in a far better job than previously.
- A small story that I quite like; I was once outside a club, just chilling when a guy who I'd never met in my life walked past and asked if it was any good inside. We chatted for a little bit, he told me his name was Joe and then he went on his way. About 30 minutes later, I was working a 5 set in the club when Joe strides right up to me and says; "Hey, ZebraG, how's it going?" 2 minutes later, he leads the most attractive girl out of the 5 set and takes her to the dance floor. The remaining 4 ask me how I know him. "Ah, Joe, he's an awesome guy. Really nice guy. Your friend will really like him". Satisfied, they gave the nod of approval and he took her home shortly afterwards. He never even bought me a drink!
- My friends considered it normal, if they were late, to meet me in a bar and find me sat at a table full of girls I'd never met before (Best opener ever - "My friend's late, do you mind if I join you until he arrives?") My male friends would make the most of this and regularly turn up late just so that there were tables of girls ready for them to meet.
Anyhow, after several years of dating, I've ended up with a girl that is great. Not just great generally, but perfect for me. I didn't get her through routines, or pretending to be someone else; I got her because I was comfortable to be me. She's moving in soon. I'm very happy about this.
Some final thoughts before I end my journey:
1) Think of canned material as your training wheels. If you're comfortable with yourself, you'll be much more likely to close or end up with the right person for you.
1b) To develop as a natural, follow an MPUA that's right for you.
2) If you've still got your V card, don't worry - it'll all work out.
Perhaps not the first time though (PS. this is my favourite post I ever made here). But it gets better quickly (hint - read some instructional books)
3) Dating for girls is really difficult. If men are confident, we can talk to any girls. It doesn't work the other way around. Make female friends and you'll appreciate the other side and it will enrich your life.
4) PUA isn't just useful to sleep with as many girls as possible; I only used it to date. I am the traditional hopeless romantic and without learning PUA, I would always be the guy that girls would go to and ask; "Why can't I find someone like you.... No don't be silly, not actually you though!"
So, to recap. In less than 5 years since starting, I've got:
1) the girl I always wanted
2) a great job
3) some great stories
And all because I read The Game then came here... so thank you everyone.
CHAT
