why not just make a clever caption to go along with your "hot" picture ?

i find that guys that spam my news feed with funny status's are sometimes laughed at behind their backs, and by some of my friends that are girls.

Last night I went with "I've officially decided I don't want kids. I love them and all, but I'm just not ready for the commitment of uploading that many photos to Facebook"

Within 12 hours it's on 22 likes and 6 comments - crucially one from a yummy mummy who I was hoping would comment.

She said "Hey I don't post that many photos..."

How would you respond to that? Or push-pull and respond to other comments but not hers?

hahahah anyone else LOL when they read yummy mummy?

"The average norwegian is 179cm, so Im one cm above the average.. atleast there is one area Im above average"

Shows you can laugh and make fun of yourself. Got a good deal of attention

we need to keep these going for 2014, these are some field tested i compiled from this tread plus others

If your girlfriend is walking around with a limp and a stupid look on her face.......Valentines day was a success

Wishes bruno mars was my wingman so he can catch grenades for me

I hate the fact that when a Katy Perry song comes on the radio, it triggers a natural instinct to dance. You'll be happy to know I maintained, however. Not today, Katy... Not today

"I used to think a group of women competing in a hot dog eating contest would be sexy. Just got proved wrong."

u mad osama is chillin with 72 virgins right now

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who finish what they start and

Hey self-appointed MILFs, easy does it. We'll let you know

''Lol, some girl's just come up to me and sang 'Womanizer' to me. Random. But how did she find out?''

single as a dollar, and i'm not looking for change

I just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs

how did you meet mom? well son, it all started with a poke on facebook..

Here's a riddle for you...A Girls Facebook Picture Has 200 Likes and 100 Comments.
Whats Missing?

Her Clothes.."

Uh, excuse me, Mr. Swagger, Either walk a little faster or buy a belt. Thanks,....... homie."


Just paused Willy Wanka and The Chocolate Factory to go buy a chocolate bar... This is why I cant watch Breaking Bad



I just took a hot shower. Its like a normal shower, but with me in it.


I've officially decided I don't want kids. I love them and all, but I'm just not ready for the commitment of uploading that many pic on Facebook

'Bubblebath, creme bruleé & the Godfather, life's good.'

Anyone with 600 Facebook friends shouldn't have to take their own picture in the bathroom mirror

The smile is every woman’s sexiest curve

I'm starting to realize that all girls just secretly hate each other.. if they comment set them up for this reply -"I didn't say MOST girls hate MOST girls, I'm talking ALL girls
hate ALL girls... vicious little things

iPhone users are more promiscuous

i got called pretentious this morning by some bitch! I couldnt believe it, almost choked on my decafinated soya caramel latte

Good girls are just better liars


SO yah like all of those are good for 10 likes easy. Please people post some other, i'm runnin out o material haha

"Wishes bruno mars was my wingman so he can catch grenades for me"
This ones great, thanks ,,stickyp"

It gave me 56 likes and some comments

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Good Girls can speak France, Bad Girls can do France..

This is toooo goooood

Like this one:

God created the world in 7 days, well it took 9 months to create me so clearly I’m a big deal.

bump!

any new cool statuses?

"There has been said alot of strange and bad things about Islam and muslims.. but raising women, that they know how to!"
May be funnier in Europe though


"Going to a party tonight. Hope I can find a woman who appriciates a good conversation"

"Yeay, always a nice day when one finds two socks that are alike

#singlemanspleasures"

This thread is awesome! Thought I'd contribute a bit of cockney banter in here. This will get 20 likes every time as it's so easily relatable:

"I used to use the term 'I'll do that... when I see pigs fly' all the time. I've now had to completely re-adjust my linguistics thanks to seeing this..."

Used the "girls are like parking spots one" and a friend commented by saying, "it won't even matter to you as you don't know how to drive" asshole got 2 likes

Though the status got 24 likes, any witty reply?

-According to Tetley the best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag so i slap her ass and shout "cup of tea fatty"

-Watching a movie with the girlfriend tonight. Can anyone recommend a good girlfriend?

-The zoo basically has two modes. 1. Lazy sleepy animals. 2. Hard core porn

-2 cops walk into a bar… I don’t know what happened after that. I got the fuck out of there.

-I will be thoroughly disappointed if the first human born on Mars isn't named Marvin

-The older I get the more I understand Squidward's anger.

-Boobs are a lot like train sets, they were meant for kids, but grown men always end up wanting to play with them.

-Massaging the shoulders of the person in front of you at the Redbox machine will usually help them make up their mind faster.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

sounds to me like he got frustrated
or scared that you may actually get more attention than him

act like nothing happened
and spoil some of his cool statuses that he posts next few days

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Dating Tips - http://whitemethod.com/

-The girl on the flyer is never at the club.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.