Hey everyone, new to forum. I appreciate any comments.

How do you recover from this texting blunder?

Things are going well and I send a witty "when are you free to get together text", which she responded to within a minute.

I know she likes me, and we've hooked up before.

So she says, "Cool. I might have dinner with you maybe." after laughing at the joke in the first text.

To my non-stoned mind, that's a girl saying yes without looking easy.

But to my stoned mind (pot) I dissect it literally and respond with this:

"Intrigued. Now figuring out how to tilt "maybe" to "yes".

I was trying to be flirty, but left out an important section.
I have not heard back from her since midnight last night. Maybe it's because I inferred I'd get back to her. Or maybe because it's weak as shit. I just should have countered with a date and time.

We both see other people, so we are not priorities. Still, she's a cool girl. We do play games. A lot.

edit: looking at her personality, this was a playful yes designed to test. I failed the test by not proceeding confidently with a date. Wondering if I should acknowledge that her last text went over my head, and correct course, or just start in with a strong date/time and fun/humor/positive as if nothing happened?

It's amazing how I manage to talk my self out of great opportunities in text.


edit: background info, this is an ex:




She has mentioned she hates phone calls. We rarely talked on the phone when we dated, but it was much better when we did. She only called when her attraction level was very high.

I ran into her last week, and she asked me repeatedly if I still had her number, insisted I have it, etc then asked "what are you doing right now?". She was asking me on a date on the spot. I walked away after kissing her, not certain I wanted to get re-involved. Then when I got in my car she blew up my phone with texts, "now you have my number again" responding within seconds and even getting into some sexual innuendo. I cut the conversation short, then did not reply to her for four days. She then revealed she was pissed about my -non-response. It's been mind games ever since. I created this by not following up after Wednesday.

This girl has issues (who doesn't), but she also has many strengths which I admire. Not sure how many chances I have left, if any at this point, so looking to play it safe.

Any tips on leaving a voice mail? just"hey, it's XXX, give me a call when you get this" or delve into a few details? Thanks.

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Well first of all - stop overthinking. It's a text. If you're seriously sitting there struggling to 'dig yourself out' of a metaphorical hole you think you've landed in with this chick just cause you maybe said 3 wrong words then you need to rethink your game.

What should you have said? You answered your own question... Here's what you do... It's a secret PUA trick: Pretend it never happened, and next time do it confidently.

Also, don't text or talk while super stoned

Thanks, man.

I'm wondering how long I should wait to text back? I sent the text Sunday night. Also wondering if a call is better.

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Hello Arch.

Sorry to say this, but you have operated from an incredibly weak frame. And I'll break it down further:

You are "intrigued". You have successfully just made this ex of yours, the chased. One of the goals of the PUA should be to be the chased, not the chaser. "Be the loved, not the lover." You are the prize, and operating from any other state of mind would indicate to yourself that your SMV is lower than hers, and subconsciously it will show in your communication, as it has just done.

Furthermore, you have told her that you are figuring out how you can get her to say yes. Assume attraction. Why wouldn't she want to date you? I mean, dude, even if she doesn't want to date you, you sound intelligent enough (by the way you have written this post and when I've seen you speak in the chatroom) to game more chics and move on.

Anyways, back to a solution.

Don't go straight into asking her for a date again. It's been a few days, and you should start by building some rapport naturally again. I'm not going to tell you what to say - it's one of your ex girlfriends and I'm sure you can bring back some memories or tell her a funny story of something that's happened recently. Give it a few back and forth messages, then when you know she's attracted to you again, ask her again. I believe you have solid enough game to get this one back.

yesbro

Thank you, Charles. How long do you wait on this, and do you go right back in with the confident time and date?

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If this happened days ago and you're waiting on someone to tell you when to reply to her, you should probably take more initiative

Don't be afraid to make mistakes, dude... There are a lot of other girls, and we learn by screwing up.

Text now, if you haven't already. You're waiting too long.

Attraction fades at a certain point.

Amen, I told you in chat a few days ago to just send it. I told you the same thing yesterday. Stop over analyzing everything and make decisions, just act. As a really good PUA told me when I first started out, "Less thinking, more making moves!" Then as one of my wings used to say, "He who hesitates, masturbates." Basically meaning to stop over thinking and get in there an open the set.

Is your text perfect, No. Is your text every going to be perfect, probably not. Is someone on the forum going to give you the perfect answer on this, probably not. As good as we all may be we do not know this person, you do. We know a small snippet of the situation from what you told us. You have already decided to break your own freeze outs and other things to telegraph your intentions. We can't change what you have already done which may or may not have had an adverse effect.

As a leader in what I do I understand taking the time to develop a situation but there comes a point where you just have to act or bad things are going to start happening. Your decision may be the right one, it may not be, it may be the wrong thing to do after hindsight is applied. Develop the situation as long as you can then you just have to go with what you have at that moment. It may yield a good decision or a bad one but you have to make a decision one way or the other, OR opportunities will pass you by. Better to take a shot at something and miss than wait to long and let the moment slip away.

We learn by doing, making decisions, fucking up, and learning from it. But she's special...blah blah I'm gonna loose this girl. Yes you may. She may not have been yours to have anyways. You'll have to move on from that and get on with life. We were only given one direction in life and that is forward. Send your text, make a decision before this moment passes by, and get one with it.

Less thinking and more making moves!

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

A solid response.

Boring and normal texting is way more effective than this gamey bravado texting...

Stop digging deeper. Get her on a date already and mutually connect with women, instead of creating a battle ground.

Women love to be desired. 'Punishing her for 4 days' is only going to hurt you in the end. You might have got away with it though but it is now on a fine thread.

You're gonna fuck it up if you carry on like this.

Do what you feel like doing, say what you feel like saying, if you wanna see her, just text her 'Hey I wanna see you this week, will you be free?'

The gamey nerds will think this is being needy but when a girl already likes you, it doesn't matter. It only matters when you're a nobody to her.

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You guys are amazingly helpful. I'll send today.

Still hung up on texting versus calling, but texting seems so much lighter.

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Just text, calling is so intrusive, people around here only pretend calling works.

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lol!

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I love when little truth nuggets pop out

So she responded with "8:03" as in the time?" to my quirky 8:03 time suggestion.

And I said "yeah, 8:03".

She says "fucking weirdo. I might have to work, I'll let you know".

How do you respond to this?

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