I've been friends with a HB8 for about 8+ years, we've pretty much been good friends for quite a while and have shared lots of times together (no sex) but over the past year or so, I've developed more feelings for her. I've used the tips and techniques to break out of the friend zone, freeze out for 6 months, straw man, etc. but she has not been responsive to my attempts. We've started talking just a few days ago but at this point, I am not willing to stay in the friendzone and be that good friend any longer.

What I am struggling with is whether I tell her that I don't want to be in that situation? Or just go back to no contact without letting her know why or how I feel?

Also, Any recommendations on how to communicate to her I do not want to be in the FZ? How would you say goodbye?

D519

Not that answer you are looking for but you are wasting your time. (8 years?!)

Tell her how you feel and get the closure. Put your balls on the line. I know it is scary but you're fighting your feelings and the longer you leave it the more your head is going to be fucked up.

From my experience, she is not into you so I wouldn't hold your breathe. Sorry.

Take all these 'Get out of friendzone' tactics with a pinch of salt. It is mostly BS- People are smart and feed on the desperation of people. The Friendzone is a popular problem and that is a lot of traffic opportunity to their website to make them money. Majority of the time it is a lost cause. You did all you could by freezing her out, everything except intention,

I have never been friendzoned because my intentions are laid out in the first 10secs of meeting a girl.

Get it out of your system, find out the truth and MOVE ON with your life and use your time for a girl that likes you in a romantic way.

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

Agreed, I put myself there and 8 years is way too long to be in that situation.

I'm planning to have that convo and tell her I don't want her as an accessory in my life and I dont want to be an accessory in hers.

I wasted too much time and heart muscle on this already.

Start kinoing her if you havent already and see how she responds but by trying to get more out of your friendship your also potentially ruining your friendship altogether. I personally wouldn't care, but just letting you know in case you may care. Like the other guy said just grow some balls i have a pretty good feeling you haven't been kinoing though so start just screen her and see how she responds.

This is a tough spot, and as has been said and I think you're fully aware, you put yourself in this spot. No sweat, every guy goes through this at some point.

From now on you need to be very aware that you put yourself in the friend zone by not letting your intentions be clear.

You are fighting an uphill battle. If you want to give it the best shot you possibly can to get out of the friendzone, I'd suggest getting her alone either at your place to watch a movie or out at a fun bar or something, and escalating and flirting/teasing her. Treat her more like a girl you are getting to know more so than an old friend. Give her compliments that friends don't give. "Wow, you dressed up like that just for me?" (said with a big smile). Try calling her sexy or cutie.

It's a long shot but I think this gives you a better chance than just spilling out your feelings to her and forcing her into a weird spot.

Agreed ^

i just get the feeling the OP has evidently zero experience with escalating and would make him panic. OP are you ready to make 'The move' on her?

Throw in red wine too, that will help

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

Escalation is really not an issue. She has not given in to my escalations in the past, I've tried many times over the years and she says, she is not interested in me in a romantic way. Just wants to be good friends. At this point, I'm just frustrating myself being in this situation and I need to end it. As Pebble said, I need to put closure to it and not put her into a weird position.

I appreciate the guidance guys.

Out of curiosity,
What exactly was your past escalation?

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

Drop it and hit on other girls. You are coming from a position of chasing her and she's already made her mind. There's nothing you can do here, and spilling out your emotions, which she's already aware of, won't do anything for you.

Well, she has a new BF so I wasn't going to KINO or escalate..(again)
I went over and had a friendly conversation with her over a bottle of wine. At the end of it I told her, I don't want her as an accessory in my life and I wasn't going to be an accessory in hers either. Then said goodbye and left. No drama, no sob story about my feelings etc.

So she had a bf this whole time?

Let me guess for 8 years..?

Man...

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

Haha, nope. I'm not that dense. Just in the past couple of months..I hadn't spoken to her for about 8 months.
It was a good end to the friendship, on my terms, my decision, and she knows why.

You're best bet is to just start gaming other girls. If you really want this girl, you shouldn't contact her for several weeks and limit your communication with her. Then invite her out to a social event where you have preselection and start over from there. Break rapport, escalate, etc.

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Worried about being in a girls friendzone just means : I have no other options. Do you think if you had 4 hot quality girls who were into you you'd be cutting off a friend because she's not attracted to you?? Funny how these friend zone threads are never from a guy who has options. And I mean REAL options, not first dates and cant get a second date. Get some options and improve yourself. Cutting her off because of your crush is stupid. You lack options, so you're going to cut off a female friend who can actually HELP you get options??

Keep her as a friend. Find another girl. People get too caught up in being friendzoned, as if the girl is the only one in existence.