We've had a beautiful 3 year relationship but towards the end I got needy.

Broke up and worst week of my life. She didnt talk to me. I begged for her back. Bad just BAD.

She started talking to me sayin we're broken up. But she'll travel 8 hrs to see me on my bday.


So I have a week to formulate my game plan:

- Dont be needy, just act cool and aloof like when we first fell for each other. I was a total bitch the last month.

- I was thinking about crying and holding her when I first see her. But judging from how that did -nothing- right when she broke up with me- good idea or bad idea?

- I'll try not to mention any of the bad stuff that gets us arguing:

1. How is this line?: "I dont wanna get into it or mention it, but yeah I was being needy and jealous. Thats not me. I needed to remember who I was, the guy you fell in love with."

- Be confident like youre gaming a new girl.

2. When should I introduce more-than-friends Kino? (Ex: shes probably not going to be receptive if I put my arm around her right away.)

3. Should I remain aloof when she calls me leading up to the meet up? For example dont call her back for day.

4. Should I ever mention "Maybe we just need some time off" or "We said things we didnt really mean" ? Doesnt this give her the option in her head to say no to you?

5. Being funny will help? Or is it more about being seductive?

I'm afraid at this point no matter what you do it's coming out of an energy of scarcity (e.g., neediness), and your entire approach is just window dressing she'll see right through. You're pining for her, and have already set your hopes high on her visiting you for your birthday. I know you may want, more than anything, to see her at this point, but do you think its the healthy thing for you to be around somebody clearly you're still so attached to?

I don't think you're ready for this, and you're looking to her for the 'right signs' when in reality you probably have little to no chance of having anything healthy with her until you're on the other side of the attachment. You're still in it. This means you'll be living week to week, expending massive amounts of energy on what to do next, and coming onto this board looking for quick fixes from encounter to encounter, from situation to situation.

Beyond all of this you've, somewhere along the line, lost touch with yourself (or perhaps you never were in touch with yourself and are trying to connect to yourself through this woman). I would urge you to take an honest appraisal of yourself, where you've been, where you're going and start seeking questions only you can answer, not her, nor anyone on this board for that matter. We can tell you what to do, but then you'll be a trained monkey - your reward, having your attachment needs satiated for the moment. Or, you can do some real work in reflecting and realizing the relationship wasn't working and cannot work so long as you have this external-seeking mindset.

The choice is yours, and has always been all along.

Very true. But the break up was just a week ago.

What if she visits me and sees a different side of me and I get her laughing. Etc

Its a good sign she still wants to visit me. And its good that its only been a week break up. I think even if its on the losing end, hey why not try your best when she visits to ne the cool confident guy she fell for? Most guys dont get to see their ex after

Because its all window dressing. You aren't there yet, not even close to "cool confident guy" and will continually look to her for acceptance.

Are the relationship subforum rules somehow unclear, OP?

Here they are again:

Relationship Subforum Rules
1. Posts about how to get a girlfriend will result in a ban.
2. Posts about your ex-girlfriend will result in a ban.
3. Any other posts not related to your current girlfriend will result in a ban.

They're also at the top of every page in this subforum.

Thread locked. Post your stuff in the right spot please.