Ok.. so if anyone can give me their thoughts on this, I'd be very interested..

Background: I'm 26, had 1 serious GF for about a year, occasional on/off things, occasional hookups. I'm decent looking, but far from Christian Grey. I'd categorise myself as a "nice guy", but with edge.. I'm no alpha male, nor do I strive to be.. but I have cool hobbies and strong principles and am fairly confident about what I want. Anyway..

Tinder date with a worldy, arty chick (8/10?) who is 2 months out of a 10 year relationship (!!).. We have two drinks and go back to hers and just about fuck. Few days later, we go for an evening walk then back to fuck properly. It's not amazing but it's decent. Im not super attracted to her but our personalities are clicking great.

Next time we meet I am refused anything. I think ah well who cares, kiss her goodnight and go home. I dont contact and she contacts me a few days later, sends me a photo of her lying on her bed "tired". I go over. We are intimate but she refuses me sex. We have both been open about seeing other ppl. So I'm say I dont like just coming over to cuddle, while you're off fucking other dudes. She understands but says I'm different.. she really really likes me and I'm not fitting into her imagined plan (i.e to be randomly banging dudes out of a 10yr shitty sexless relationship). So i just go along with it, I like her company.

Anyway.. she texts me saying she just wants me for company and friendship. But the next time Im over she pounces on me and we fuck. OK, but not that great really. After that we hang out a few times intimately but without sex. I express my dissatisfaction, but she keeps reiterating how she wants me around.. I've turned into her personal teddy bear.

Basically I end up walking away from the situation to save my self-respect. We hang out as friends one last time, when she starts telling me how she's feeling involved with a different fuckbuddy. I'm like, wtf I don't want to hear that shit, you said you didnt want to get involved with anyone. I ask what was missing between us, and it finally comes out she didn't think we clicked in bed. She expected it to be "amazing". Ouch.. I literally walked away without saying goodbye, and I could tell she felt like total shit having lost me, mostly as a friend. I havnt contacted her since (one week).

Anyway.. what I'm wondering is..
I feel like the physical side just needed time to grow, from both our ends. We were connecting on a personal level before a sexual one, I reckon awesome sex could develop, it just needed time. Despite the fact she was a tactless bitch, I still really like her and would love to have her as a mate and FB.. do you reckon there's anything that can be salvaged from this?? Like some way of saying, "listen I know it wasn't AMAZING but it could be, I live down the road, we are awesome mates, don't you see how great this could be??"

Personally I feel like it's past the point of return, but maybe you lot have some magic advice. thx

Good job on laying her. You shouldn't have rewarded her for so long by just being a cuddle buddy. You should have cut that shit out early on by doing takeaways and not allowing her to escalate until you start getting more investment and you start escalating for the full close. My advice would be to just fuck other girls. You'll realize that she's not that special. That may be something you don't want to hear. If you really want to get back with her, don't initiate contact with her for a few weeks and then invite her out to a social gathering where you have pre-selection and fuck her again. If the sex wasn't that amazing, find ways to make it amazing. Be more dominant, find ways to last longer, have a little more foreplay in the beginning, talk dirty, etc. Your sex ability will also increase the more girls you have sex with.

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cool man, yeh I feel like I am on the same page..

would you mind elaborating a bit more on this.. for startes, what is a takeaway? I was rarely sleeping over, being just down the road. And in what way would you stop them escalating?
Sometimes she'd get me into bed to make out etc, but then would stop me from getting too feel-y... is that a test I should be expected to push through? Is she playing hard to get and trying to gauge how much I really want to fuck her? I dont want to force myself on someone who doesnt want sex, but then again i dont know. I remember once she pulled my hand away, so I grabbed it and put it behind her head and smiled and said just relax. Then I fingered her and she loved it, but after a while pulled me away again at which point i just gave up.. Where's the line between her saying no and her playing hard to get??


Another question I've got too is.. when she starts to talk about other guys she's seeing, how do you best react? In one sense it seems like it's best to act like you don't care.. but in another you don't wanna let her feel like she can walk all over you.

No one else?

Sorry to sound like a douchebag, but what's your penis size?

Did she ever cum?

I'm just wondering how bad could the sex have been. Maybe it really was bad. Or maybe she just had very unrealistic expectations getting out of a ten year relationship.

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