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I'll start off by saying that this dude is no good for you and that you should find a better dude if you want to save a ton of time and stress.
I hope this happens soon..
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I know you're going to ignore all of that, but seriously: NEVER marry this dude. And for the love of god NEVER have children with him.
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the way to get him hooked in this situation is jealousy game. I guess you overlooked how quickly he came back when he heard you had another dude around. That should have tipped you off immediately. He's insecure. A true alpha male would give zero fucks if you found another guy. But he came crawling back out of insecurity. You can take advantage of it.
It's true. He is very insecure. He had warned me that if I play the jealousy game with him then I would lose. I guess this means that he knew what were his weaknesses.
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When he texts you, say you're hanging out with a good friend and he's only in town for the night. Be less available.
He doesn't text as he used to. After the 3 month break he changed attitude. He was texting me almost everyday and while on the break sometimes I was not returning back all his text messages.
So when I returned back, I was bored at his house and did some cleaning and when I returned home he said that I threw away his top up. He said that he was broke and I had to call him instead because I have lots of free minutes. At first he was picking up the phone, then he was telling me to call him later and then he was picking up the phone when it was suitable to him.
At times he was saying things like he cared about someone new that he met. I told him that if that was true that I would be gone. Then he said that it is only an online woman and he wasn't going to meet anyone from the internet. Then he said that someone had promised him sex after christmas and that if he was wearing a condom it wouldn't count. I stopped calling him and then he couldn't remember that he said it..
he was drunk.
He started texting again when I stopped calling but the texts became more strategically sent. I haven't heard of him since that last text that he sent me when I had found that guy. I haven't text him anything since that day either.
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Flip through your phone and have your Tinder app visible so he sees it.
I don't use tinder. I had 7 accounts on facebook and he gave me really hard time about it. He used it to say that I was not honest with him and that I was flirting with other guys. The truth was that I had these accounts years now because I was using them for facebook games .. when and if I was playing so I didn't have to add random people on my real account. I also offered him to give him the passwords and he refused to take them.
Him on the other side, he had 5 accounts into sex no strings attached dating sites and I don't know how many others on free dating sites. He said that it was for innocent flirting lol and that he was not using them .. at least he said he was not meeting anyone from there.
Me though I was bad because I met him online and I went and met him in real life. Good girls don't do that. Only slags do that and he didn't want to be with a slag. (I am far from that. For a year that I was seeing him I didn't sleep or even kiss another guy and he knew that a year before I met him I was completely celibate).
Slags wouldn't get sex off him and he would use them if he had to have sex with them. The side girl had found a boyfriend so he still wanted to go and meet her but he wanted to surprise her by not having sex with her.
He was usually giving me the talk that a holy woman would let her husband sleep have as many wives as he wanted without complaining. It is not btw in his religion to support polygamy.
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When you two fuck, act like it was okay but imply that you've had better. Say stuff like "yeah, it was nice" and give a half-smile. Date other dudes who are bigger than him.
I had done something similar.. but he made me regret it. When the other woman had contacted me we both agreed in front of him that he wasn't special in the sex department. Jokingly we called him "skinny d@ck". On the holidays me and him when we went together he made sure we wouldn't have sex until I begged that he was good in bed.
The truth is that he is not the best guy in bed in comparison with all the rest I slept with. He is just average.
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The guy thinks he can have something on the side and you can't? No way. This will make him fear that you're getting it better from someone else. That's what he doesn't want, that's what will keep him competitive and trying to please you rather than you doing ALL the work.
He really brainwashed me that if I had sex with someone else I would be a slag. It was one of his systematic tantrums that he had out of nowhere. I was not participating in them but there were that many it went to my subconcious. It created me an emotional block.
I was already put off dating before I met him and I wasn't even bothered to flirt with anyone. He was lucky when I started speaking to him because we were talking as friends. We even met as friends but he turned it into what he turned it into..
I was planning to get past my emotional block and kiss the new guy .. but I was so stupid and said that to this girl. :/ Now I don't feel any sexual attraction for anyone else. The new guy was the stereotype of tall, dark hair, handsome... I can't find anyone as attractive as him at the moment.
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All of this massage and cook shit just spoils the dude and makes him take you for granted. Then he gets bored and fucks another chick. Then the other chick probably has guys on the side so he comes back to you as a security measure. Then he gets bored and the cycle repeats.
That's why I avoided it. I only did it couple of times to see his reaction. The side girl was doing these things all the time.
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None of the shit I'm suggesting is healthy or productive for a healthy relationship. I'm just telling you how to keep him attracted. It's way too late for you guys to be a healthy couple and you'll just continue chasing this guy forever unless you realize you can get someone better for you and not have to deal with the bullshit. I typically like to remain somewhat of a challenge to girlfriends but not in this way because it's dysfunctional and leads to girls cheating or bailing out. You should be 95% happy and easy going and connected but there's always that underlying spark of attraction and alpha mentality that keeps things interesting and keeps the girl in line. Dudes like yours are way too selfish to actually work in a relationship and while you'll always keep chasing you'll never feel the pure happiness and bliss of being *deeply* in love with a good person who treats you well, but who is also alpha when necessary.
you are right..
Btw I opened an account in POF yesterday to increase my chances finding a new guy because on the paid dating sites I couldn't find anyone that I was feeling attracted to... anyway, so while I was browsing I came across his profile and it was saying he wants someone with "average IQ" and "spiritual" that is an "honest person" and she wants a "relationship". He was very annoyed that I got a strong university degree recently..
I didn't noticed the feature that shows who sees your profile. Straight away he changed his profile pic on facebook and tagged it to three girls. Two that he doesn't know in real life and one that he had said was an "x" FB. He got removed by the "x" FB instantly from everywhere... haha I kinda enjoyed this.
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Again, do this shit at your own risk. I'd prefer that you be more mature and just cut all contact with this guy and find a superior partner.
I keep looking for a new guy. I just don't have much money to go out and do activities at the moment. So it's all online dating.. that's not good..
CHAT
