Update:

Married this girl August 29th 2014. She came into my room the night of the wedding with hot lingerie on. We had sex passionately and I will always remember how she looked and felt. The honeymoon was backpacking in Italy and she initiated sex there...although it was very subtle and she was anything but crazy in bed. She lives with me now and if I want sex she will let me have it most times. But...she does not initiate and doesn't do much to progress the act to intercourse. She's been in counseling for a few years now, and we've been in couples counseling too. Definitely the lack of initiation on her part brings up some issues that I have with shame and insecurity so I have seen a counselor myself. It will take a long time for us to get our individual shit together before we are in the clear and enjoying sex together and feel more free spirited. I suppose learning this together is where real intimacy can be found rather than expecting it from a feeling you get when you first meet a girl. If I don't look at it that way...and rely on the expectations I had for sex from the beginning I would be pretty disappointed all the time...and I will say, often I am.

Everything else in life with her is pretty good. She cooks, cleans, works, budgets well, doesn't spend money on stupid shit, wants kids, my family and friends like her, her family and friends like me...but yeah...sex has been difficult and it takes a real hit on our happiness together.

I only came on here because I figured I'd give some hope to guys like me dating a girl who was raped. Totally not an easy thing to do and things take painfully forever to move forward. Maybe I'll come back on here in a few years and give another update.